


Vos Confidere In Mendacio

by Branwen_Blaidd



Series: Love is a Choice [3]
Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Trauma, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:34:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 72,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21609874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Branwen_Blaidd/pseuds/Branwen_Blaidd
Summary: Wolfgang, Kala and Rajan are living in Paris celebrating their first anniversary as a triad. But for the Sensates, danger is never far away and the ghosts of his past are coming for Wolfgang. Painful memories have immense power; what if that power could be unleashed?
Relationships: Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar/Rajan Rasal
Series: Love is a Choice [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1540948
Comments: 120
Kudos: 146





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Back to the plot heavy stuff with this one. Not sure how long it will be but probably a long one. 
> 
> I'm not going to tell you what the title means as that's part of the story. Of course, you can google it but that's probably a spoiler!
> 
> There will be heavy stuff in this story, but also some nice stuff and I love a happy ending! 
> 
> Makes more sense if you've read Love in all its Forms first but you don't need to have read Bold, Brave, Beautiful.

_Dacian._

That cool, calm voice came to him as a whisper, bidding him to listen, lingering in his mind.

His fingers traced the hot ridges on his arm. ‘I can’t,’ he gasped.

_Remember what they did to you, to us. They deserve this. Start with him and the rest will fall._

Dacian reached for the machine. He didn’t want to but the voice was insistent. He thought of those memories and sighed. He needed them.

Wolfgang was having a good day. It was Friday and he always liked Fridays because he, Rajan and Kala all had a half day. But this Friday was not just any Friday. It was a year exactly since Nomi and Amanita’s wedding, which also meant it was a year since he had first been with Kala and Rajan. So it was sort of their anniversary.

Rajan had booked a table at a posh restaurant. Kala had bought a new dress and Wolfgang was pretty sure a long lovemaking session would be happening that night.

‘Will you stop whistling?’ Felix called across the shop.

Wolfgang looked up from the safe he was fixing. ‘What?’

‘You keep whistling. I wouldn’t mind and I like seeing you in a good mood, but you’re a better singer than you are a whistler.’

‘Am I?’

‘Yeah, you keep going out of tune.’

‘Oh.’ He grinned. ‘Maybe I’m doing it on purpose to annoy you.’

Felix pointed at him. ‘Oi, I pay your wages.’

Wolfgang wiggled his eyebrows. ‘I could be a kept man if I wanted.’

‘Well, not all of us have sugar daddies so get on with fixing that safe and pack it in with the whistling.’

Wolfgang held his hands up. ‘All right, all right.’ He went back to his work.

‘So, why are you so sickeningly happy anyway, brother?’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘Anniversary.’

‘Oh, so you’ve got a hot date tonight, huh?’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘We have. Rajan’s booked a table at a posh restaurant, then we’re going to celebrate the whole night.’

Felix nodded approvingly. ‘Sounds fun. So how does that work? The three of you?’

Wolfgang smirked. ‘You sure you want to know?’

Felix opened his mouth then frowned and closed it again. ‘No, I probably don’t really want to know. It’s just … aren’t there too many dicks?’

Wolfgang laughed. ‘Felix, you are so straight. Let’s just say we all get equal attention from each other.’

Felix shrugged. ‘Well, if it works for ya.’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘It does. It really does.’

At noon, they closed up and Felix went off to find a bar. Wolfgang laughed and started his walk home. It was still a novelty to him to feel so good all the time, so happy. Sometimes it was like he was waiting for something to go wrong. According to Corinne, it was normal for an abuse survivor.

Wolfgang still wasn’t over-keen on that label but he was getting used to it. It was a part of him but it didn’t govern his every action anymore. He didn’t do stupid shit just to cope. He didn’t need to anymore.

None of them had to work until Monday now so the whole weekend stretched ahead of him, with nothing to do but spend time with his lovers. He’d even arranged for his therapy session to be on the Monday instead of the Saturday so they would have no interruptions. It had been a busy week at the lab, so Rajan and Kala hadn’t been home that much. There had been lots of early starts and late evenings and Wolfgang had done all he could to try and keep up with feeding them and making sure they had enough sleep. He was looking forward to spending actual quality time with his lovers.

He stopped at a crossing and his gaze settled past the people on the other side, also waiting for the lights. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled like he was being watched. He shifted his gaze and met hazel eyes, staring at him.

His breath caught in his throat and he could do nothing but stare.

He was looking into his father’s face.

The lights changed and the people next to him started to cross the road. He blinked and shook his before looking again. There was no one there.

He crossed the road at a fast walk, rattled. Why was he seeing his dead father in the fucking street? Was this the start of a relapse? Fuck, he really hoped not. He was just getting things on an even keel.

He shook his head again and hurried home, his stomach jumping with nerves. He’d feel fine when he got home to Rajan and Kala.

When he opened the door to the flat, the first thing he saw was Rajan. He was in the kitchen making lunch. He was still wearing his suit trousers and shirt but his feet were bare and his hair was ruffled. Wolfgang smiled. He was his usual cute self and everything was all right.

Rajan turned his head and smiled broadly at him. ‘Welcome home, my love.’ He put down the wooden spoon he’d been using to stir the pasta sauce and turned to Wolfgang.

Wolfgang smiled back at him and shut the door. ‘Hey.’ He walked over, slipped his arm around Rajan’s waist and tugged his lover close. Rajan smiled, his own hand going to the back of Wolfgang’s neck as they both leaned in.

They kissed, softly at first, then they deepened it into a real kiss. When it ended, Wolfgang didn’t want to let go. He pressed his face into Rajan’s warm neck, breathing in the scent he associated with home and safety.

Rajan rubbed his back. ‘Hey, you all right?’

Wolfgang held on silently for a few minutes, before he pulled back and looked into Rajan’s face, which was creased with concern. ‘I’m fine. Just tired. It’s been a busy week.’

Rajan smiled. ‘Ah, well I’ve got a solution to that,’ he said, his hands dropping to Wolfgang’s hips and swinging them slightly. ‘There just so happens to be a beautiful woman napping in our bed right now. I’m sure she’d enjoy the company of a fellow napper.’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘Sounds perfect.’ He nodded towards the saucepan. ‘How long will that be?’

‘About an hour. I’ll come and wake you, don’t worry.’

Wolfgang smiled, kissed Rajan on the cheek, then pulled away. Rajan gave him a smile and Wolfgang already felt calmer.

He made his way upstairs to the master bedroom. He crept in and smiled as he saw Kala asleep in the large bed. For a moment, he just stopped and looked at her. Her dark brown curls were spread out on the pillow and the sheet was pulled up to her waist. She’d changed out of her work clothes and was just wearing one of Wolfgang’s t-shirts. She was sleeping so peacefully. She was beautiful and he still couldn’t believe how fucking lucky he was to be in her life.

He stripped to his boxers and climbed into bed beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and she turned him with a soft sigh. He wasn’t actually that tired but, being here in bed with her was just what he needed to settle his mind. He dropped a kiss into her hair and breathed her in. Today she smelt like vanilla, but beyond that he could smell that scent that was purely her. It always made him feel settled. Now, having her in his arms and that scent in his nostrils, the bad images in his head faded away and he felt calm.

What he’d seen at the crossing was just in his mind, just a trick of the eye. He’d talk about it with Corinne on Monday. It was probably just one of those moments where a smell or some other sensation sent you back to a trauma. It had happened before and Corinne said it was just something that happened and it didn’t mean he was taking a step back. It was just something to talk about in therapy. That was all. Everything was all right. 


	2. Chapter 2

Wolfgang was woken with a bristly kiss to his cheek and a soft voice in his ear. He stirred but didn’t open his eyes. He felt so warm and cosy and safe that he didn’t really want to wake. But then he felt Kala stir in his arms and he opened his eyes.

Rajan was leaning over them, smiling in that soft way of his. ‘It’s time to wake up. Lunch is ready.’

Wolfgang stretched. ‘I didn’t think I’d sleep.’

‘You were well away,’ said Rajan.

Kala opened her eyes and looked blearily around. She frowned at Wolfgang. ‘When did you get here?’

He laughed. ‘Quite a while ago. You were snuggling up to me happily enough.’

She smiled sleepily. ‘I was dreaming about you.’

He pushed forward into her and kissed her thoroughly. She whimpered into him and he felt a spark of arousal flit across their bodies. Rajan put his hand on his shoulder.

‘All right, you two, save it for later. Lunch is going cold.’

Wolfgang pulled back and Kala pouted at Rajan. ‘Spoilsport.’

Rajan just laughed good-naturedly. ‘We’ve got the whole weekend to do whatever we want.’

They got up. Wolfgang pulled his t-shirt back on but was surprised that Kala didn’t bother getting any more dressed than his t-shirt and a pair of knickers. He grinned. She was a lot less shy about her body than she used to be. It wasn’t just him who had changed with this relationship, for the better he thought.

As they sat down at the table and Rajan brought the pasta dish over, Wolfgang looked at him. Had he changed? It was harder to tell with Rajan, as Wolfgang hadn’t really known him well before. He was just as loving with them both as he had been with just Kala. Maybe he was more open-minded? A bit freer than he had been before. It didn’t really matter, Wolfgang supposed. He loved him exactly how he was and he couldn’t imagine doubting that anymore.

‘So, how were your days?’ Wolfgang asked.

‘Quieter than the rest of the week,’ said Kala, with a sigh. ‘I’ve been looking to this weekend so much after the last couple of weeks.’

‘Will it be quieter next week?’

Rajan shrugged. ‘Maybe. We can only hope.’

‘Well, you don’t have to worry about it for three whole days now,’ said Wolfgang, with a grin. ‘Though I can’t promise you’ll get lots of sleep.’ He wiggled his eyebrows, making them both laugh.

He watched them smiling. He did love to make them laugh. He loved to feel their happiness radiating from them. He felt good. There was a happiness inside him as well. What he’d seen before was definitely a blip. Nothing to worry about.

‘How was your day?’ asked Kala.

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘Ordinary.’ There was no point telling them about what he’d seen. It wasn’t real and he was absolutely fine.

Their reservation was for seven that evening. At around half six, they left the flat dressed up and started to walk towards the restaurant. Rajan was wearing his favourite charcoal black suit, with a red open-collared shirt. Kala was wearing a slim-fitting red dress and looked absolutely ravishing. Wolfgang had gone for his blue shirt and black jeans with his leather jacket.

The pavement was narrow and, out of habit and protectiveness, he walked a little behind them, so he knew they were safe. But he was with Kala and holding Rajan’s hand through her.

But as they walked, despite his focus on Rajan and Kala, Wolfgang felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickling. His heart raced and he didn’t know why. He looked around but he couldn’t see anything unusual.

‘Why are you nervous?’ asked Sun, beside him suddenly.

He glanced at her. She was looking curiously at him. He looked away, his gaze sweeping over their surroundings. ‘I don’t know. I just feel on edge.’

‘Have you seen something?’ asked Will, frowning at him.

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I don’t think so.’ He glanced at each of them in turn. ‘I’m fine. I just want enjoy my evening.’

Will put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. ‘If you need us…’

Wolfgang smiled warmly at him. ‘I know.’

He took a deep, calming breath and they were both gone. He caught up with Rajan and Kala as they reached the restaurant.

‘This place has got excellent reviews,’ said Rajan. ‘I googled extensively.’

Wolfgang chuckled. ‘Did you ever go somewhere you didn’t google?’

Rajan beamed at him. ‘Well, how could I live with myself if I brought you two somewhere substandard.’

He led them in. Wolfgang smiled at Kala as they followed him. They both knew that this was Rajan’s forte; he loved to romance them and he was a true gentleman, who desired only to make them happy.

He approached the maître d’ and spoke to her in careful French. Wolfgang smiled; Rajan’s French had certainly improved over the past year. Wolfgang remembered calling it ‘tourist’ French once. It was certainly better than that now. Though he had to remember that his own French skills came mostly from Riley, who was better than any of them at languages. He was lucky to be able to share her skills.

They were shown to their seats, a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, near a window so they could watch the sunset. Just like Rajan to think of everything.

He picked up his menu and perused the choices. They didn’t eat French food that often and they hadn’t been to this particular restaurant before but it looked good.

‘Mmm, I miss French food,’ said Riley. Wolfgang smiled at her, glancing at Kala to see if she was visiting her too. Kala looked up and smiled.

‘Did Georges ever bring you here?’ she asked.

Rajan looked between them, curious about their conversation.

‘I think we came here once,’ Riley said. ‘It’s good. I had the boeuf bourguignon. It was excellent.’

‘Sounds good,’ said Wolfgang.

‘Is Riley giving you recommendations?’ Rajan asked. ‘Seems there’s no limit to the benefits of being a sensate.’

Wolfgang just smiled. The meal was pleasant. The food was excellent and the conversation was as good as it always was between them. It was easy and relaxed and he felt calmer with them. There really was nothing to worry about. He’d shake off this weird feeling and everything would go back to normal.

Over dessert, the sun started to set. Wolfgang glanced out of the window. People were walking past the window, going about their usual business. He found his gaze following them for a few moments, then suddenly he realised that a gaze was fixed on him. A man was looking at him from across the street. He frowned; he couldn’t quite make out the face, like there was a haze between them.

Then something shifted. It was his uncle’s face.

He blinked hard. It couldn’t be real. His uncle was dead. He’d shot the motherfucker dead himself, obliterated his household. He was dead and rotting in the ground now. He wasn’t standing on the other side of the street looking at him. He wasn’t advancing slowly towards him. He wasn’t smiling in that too-nice way. He wasn’t whispering in his ear, that low voice dripping with danger.

_Why, Wolfgang? What kind of man betrays his own fucking family?_

Wolfgang stood so quickly, he knocked the table, sending his beer bottle crashing onto his abandoned dessert spoon.

‘Wolfie, what’s wrong?’ Rajan asked.

He felt Kala looking at him too and the jump of worry in her belly. His throat felt tight, like he couldn’t even swallow, never mind speak. Somehow, he forced out the word ‘toilet’ then stumbled off in what he hoped was the right direction.

He found himself in the toilets. He leaned against the tiled wall, the coldness against his cheek helping to calm him. It wasn’t real. He had to get a fucking grip of himself. This was their anniversary, not to mention Nomi and Amanita’s. He didn’t want to ruin their day with his mood either.

The door opened behind him and he straightened suddenly, ready to put on the act, his usual false confidence.

Rajan came into the room and met his eyes. Wolfgang could see the worry in them and he immediately wanted to just make it all better, to stop that worry.

‘I’m all right,’ he said, quickly. ‘Just really needed a piss.’

Rajan raised his eyebrow. ‘You knocked over your beer, Wolfie. You don’t do that ‘cause you need the toilet.’

Wolfgang shrugged. He turned away and went to the urinal. He had a piss, then washed his hands. Rajan didn’t say anything until he’d dried them, then he caught hold of his hand and tugged him close.

‘Look, if there’s something wrong, you need to talk to us about it.’

Wolfgang looked at him. ‘I know.’ He kissed his cheek softly. ‘You don’t need to worry about me, Raj. I’m all right.’

He pulled away, mostly to avoid that doubtful expression. ‘Come on. Kala will be wondering what’s happened to us.’

He left the room without another word and heard Rajan follow him in silence. His chest felt tight and he didn’t know whether it was guilt or anxiety or both, but he didn’t like it.

Back at the table, all seemed well. Kala reached for his tight and clasped it tightly. He could feel her worry pulsing in his mind and he tried to send reassurance back at her. He was sure she didn’t entirely buy it. He would have to try harder. 


	3. Chapter 3

With more than a couple of beers inside him, Wolfgang felt better and lighter. With his arm around Kala’s shoulders and his hand holding Rajan’s, he walked with his lovers and laughed at some joke Rajan had made.

‘That food was good,’ he said. ‘Really good. Why haven’t we gone there before, Raj?’

Rajan shrugged. ‘Somebody at work told me about it. We should go there again.’

‘Riley says we should have gone ages ago,’ said Kala.

‘Then she should have told you about it,’ said Rajan, with a laugh. ‘Hey, so what are Nomi and Amanita doing for their anniversary?’

‘Fucking,’ said Wolfgang.

Kala gasped in mock-shock. ‘Wolfgang!’

He smirked as Rajan started to giggle. ‘Hey, it’s true. It’s all they’ve done all day. Do you know how difficult it’s been to keep hold of myself with those two going at it and you two looking so ravishingly gorgeous.’

Kala turned her gaze on him and her eyes were bright. ‘Then let’s hurry up and get home so we don’t have to hold it together anymore.’

Wolfgang grinned at her. ‘We really are of one mind.’

She smirked back at him and grabbed his hand. Laughing, he let her pull him and Rajan home.

As they stepped into their bedroom, Kala was half in Wolfgang’s mind. He felt her desire clearly in his own body and he knew exactly what she wanted. He smirked at her, then grasped hold of Rajan’s hand, spun him into his arms and pressed him firmly against the wall.

Rajan’s eyes opened wide in surprise but didn’t get any words out before Wolfgang was kissing him. He responded eagerly, his hands going automatically to Wolfgang’s hips and pulling him closer.

Wolfgang could feel Kala close by, her pleasure at watching them vibrating through him. He could feel her budding arousal, melding with his own as his cock swelled in his pants.

He pulled back, gazing at Rajan and cupping his cheek. ‘Remember our first kiss?’ he whispered.

Rajan smiled. ‘How could I forget? I was so nervous.’

Wolfgang met his eyes. ‘I remember. I …’ He glanced at Kala, who nodded. ‘We weren’t sure if you wanted it … if you wanted me.’

‘I know.’ Rajan smiled at Kala, then at Wolfgang. ‘I could feel you asking for permission.’

Wolfgang gazed at him, still unable to believe that he’d been taken into the life and heart of this wonderful man, that he’d been allowed to love Kala and had found yet more love in her husband. He caressed Rajan’s cheek with his thumb. ‘I’m so fucking glad you gave it.’

Rajan beamed at him. Kala slid her arms around their waists and kissed Rajan. Wolfgang stood back a little and smiled as he watched them. He wanted them. He wanted them both so much.

And he knew they wanted him. He shifted back, making room for Kala in between him and Rajan. As she kissed her husband, her hands beginning to work the buttons of his shirt, Wolfgang kissed her neck. He breathed in the delicate vanilla scent from her hair and blew softly on her smooth, caramel skin. She murmured beneath his attention and he could feel the warmth of her arousal.

Through her, he could feel Rajan, the way his breathing was quickening as her clever fingers slid over his chest, seeking out the sensitive parts of her torso and finding them with ease.

Wolfgang slid his hands down her sides, delighting in her curves. She was sliding Rajan’s shirt away now and he agreed that more nudity should be happening. His hands went to the zip of her tight red dress and he slowly slid it down, dropping kisses along her spine as her smooth back was revealed to him.

She whimpered softly and pressed herself again Rajan. He groaned at the warm pressure on his cock and both Kala and Wolfgang could feel his erection growing in his trousers.

Wolfgang slid his hand beneath the shoulders of her dress and slowly slid it down, enjoying the way she arched in response to his gentle touches. She stepped out of her dress and Wolfgang exchanged a smile with Rajan as they both realised she was still wearing her red heels.

 _Fuck, she is so sexy_ , he thought.

She leaned back against him and he grinned as he felt her response to his thought. He knew that he and Rajan made her feel so sexy and freer than she used to be. She turned to him, suddenly.

‘You are far too dressed,’ she said, a confident smile on her face.

Almost as one, she and Rajan turned on him, both grinning. Her hands went to his shirt buttons while Rajan’s went immediately to his jeans. He laughed and stood still to let them undress him.

In moments, his clothes were on the floor and he was naked. He opened his arms and pulled them both against his body. Kala cupped his jaw and kissed him, her lips soft and warm against his. Rajan’s hand slid down his back, his touch featherlight.

A low moan escaped Wolfgang’s throat and he held onto both his lovers as they kissed and touched him.

They moved slowly towards the bed. Wolfgang lifted Kala into his arms and kissed her. She stroked his cheek, then her hand settled on his shoulder and her eyes blazed with love and arousal as she gazed at him.

He set her down on the bed and kissed his way down her body, from her neck, to her navel. He felt the bed dip as Rajan sat beside her. He glanced up and smiled as he knelt between her legs. Rajan had undone her bra and slid it off. Kala’s head went back as her husband lowered his mouth to a nipple and kissed it. She responded to him and he grinned and flicked the erect nub with his tongue.

She moaned low in her throat and Wolfgang’s hands went to the waistband of her panties. As he slid them down, she lifted her bottom obligingly and he knew how eager she was for this.

She leaned back, supporting herself with her arms as Rajan kissed, licked and nipped at her full breasts and Wolfgang settled himself between her legs.

With the first light flick of his tongue, her legs twitched and she gasped. Wolfgang smirked and did it again, flickering his tongue expertly over that swollen nub he knew so well. He loved the way she responded to him and he knew the signs of her pleasure as well as he knew his own.

And he could _feel_ her. When he pleasured her, he could feel it in his own body. When Rajan made love to her, he could feel that too. Before his sensate rebirth, he’d never imagined the pure heights of pleasure they experienced together.

Her legs wrapped around his shoulders as he worked and he knew she was getting close to what would be her first orgasm of the night. He could feel Rajan still working earnestly above him, kissing and licking all her sensitive places and working in tandem with him to drive her mad with pleasure.

When she came, her hands were in their hair and he felt the clenching of her hand at the same time as her legs clenched and twitched around him and her cries of pleasure filled the room.

Wolfgang didn’t waste any time. He extricated himself from her and reached for the lube. She sat up and grinned at him, knowing what he was planning. Rajan hadn’t noticed, until Wolfgang was pushing gently on his shoulder and kissing him hard. His lover’s hands went to his hips, holding on tight as he found himself lying on the bed beneath him.

He groaned and pushed his cock up against Wolfgang’s belly, eagerly chasing the taste of Kala on his tongue. Wolfgang reached between his legs and Rajan gasped as he felt his lubed fingers probing gently at him. He opened his legs wider, to show Wolfgang how ready he was for this.

Wolfgang prepared him slowly, carefully, knowing at once that, although they hadn’t done this as much as they had the other way around, that Rajan was eager for it. He also knew that Kala was enjoying the sight of them like this, the trust and love between them in moments like this.

She hadn’t yet realised exactly what he had planned but he felt what she wanted. Rajan was ready. He leaned in to whisper in his lover’s ear. ‘She wants you inside her.’

Rajan blinked, surprised, then smiled. Wolfgang climbed off him and watched as Rajan turned to Kala. She smiled somewhat shyly at him as his attention turned to her. She had wanted this but hadn’t expected it.

They kissed as Wolfgang watched, his hand sliding and down his own cock, making sure it was ready for what was coming. Rajan’s hands went to her waist and he tugged her gently into the right position. Wolfgang watched as he slid inside her and her legs went around him. He smiled as Rajan began to move, slowly and deeply. He watched their faces, drinking in their pleasure.

Then Kala reached for him and he stepped close. His feet on the ground to keep his bodyweight off them, he got himself in position behind Rajan, his hand on his lover’s hip. Rajan reached for him and squeezed his hand briefly, before returning it to the bed to support himself.

He held still for a moment, to let Wolfgang enter him. As that tight heat enveloped him, Wolfgang let out a groan. As he slid home, Rajan cried out and Wolfgang knew the pleasure that would be sparking through his body.

He closed his eyes as the dual sensations of being inside Rajan and feeling him inside him through Kala flickered through his body. Then, as one, they began to move. Their connection was so strong and they knew each other’s bodies so well now that this was automatic. They didn’t have to think or focus to keep their rhythm together; it just happened.

He was fucking them both at the same time, lost in both of them and in the pleasure vibrating across his body and through the cluster. Somewhere, he could feel Nomi’s pleasure with Amanita. He could feel Will and Riley close by, also lost in each other. He could feel Lito, and Capheus, and Sun as their thoughts joined them.

Kala’s legs were wrapped around him too now and he could feel she was close. Rajan’s thrusts were becoming more erratic now as he began to lose himself to his orgasm. Wolfgang thrust harder, making sure each stroke delivered the maximum amount of pleasure to his lover. He held back his own orgasm until he felt Rajan’s body clench itself around him and he lost it, as Kala’s pleasure swept over him in waves and he came into Rajan.

Somehow, he had enough self-awareness to keep himself from collapsing on top of them but it was a close thing. He found himself lying on the bed beside Kala. She smiled contentedly at him and reached for his hand.

Rajan withdrew, always the one to do the cleaning up. But he wasn’t gone long. In a few moments, he was back and they were shuffling up the bed together, to lie beneath the covers and doze until they could recover their strength and have another go.

Wolfgang grinned as he caught that thought in Kala that echoed his own thinking. They had all weekend for each other.

Rajan settled on Kala’s other side, his head on her shoulder. Wolfgang slipped his arm around both of them. She tucked her head into his neck and sighed contentedly.

He closed his eyes, breathing in their scent and their warmth. Their closeness surrounded him like a happy bubble and he couldn’t wish for anything better than this moment. He felt them slowly drift into sleep.

 _And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again  
Oh I hope somehow, I'll wake up young again  
All that's left of myself  
Holes in my false confidence_

He heard the words clearly in his head, a snatch of some song he didn’t know. Riley, probably. She was always putting some song or other in his head. Queen of the earworm.

 _And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

He shook his head. Now was not a good time. He wanted to sleep.

 _And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

He felt for her, a little irritated. ‘Riley, will you stop playing that song?’

She frowned and looked up at him from her bed. Will was nearly asleep beside her, half-buried in the huge white duvet. She was sitting up, her legs pulled up to create a surface for the book she was reading. She was wearing one of Will’s t-shirts, her white-blonde hair was ruffled and her pale cheeks a little flushed from the sex. The room was quiet around them.

‘I’m not playing anything.’

Wolfgang rubbed his brow. ‘But I can hear it.’

 _And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

‘It’s not me, I promise.’ She smiled gently at him. ‘Maybe it’s just a normal earworm.’

He shrugged. ‘Whatever it is, I wish it would shut up,’ he snapped.

She frowned. ‘Maybe try playing some other song. That might help.’

‘I just need sleep,’ he said and pulled away.

Back in himself, he turned into his lovers and determinedly closed his eyes. He would sleep and when he woke up, he would be absolutely fine. He was just tired. 


	4. Chapter 4

Wolfgang didn’t know how long he slept but when he woke, Rajan and Kala were still asleep beside him. He watched them. They had turned a little more into each other now but Kala was still spooned against Wolfgang. He cupped her waist, watching her eyes move behind her lids as she dreamed. He wondered what she was dreaming about. If he concentrated he could find out but he didn’t want to do that. He knew she was having a good dream, because she kept letting out happy little sighs.

His mind felt quiet after his sleep. That song wasn’t going round and round anymore. But he needed a piss so he slid his arm out from underneath his lovers and got up. He made his way to the ensuite bathroom.

Afterwards, when he was washing his hands, he looked in the mirror. He frowned. He could see Angelica beside him. She was gazing sadly at him. She reached for him and he felt her fingers gently combing through his hair.

‘My poor baby,’ she murmured.

He turned to look at her. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked, not sure if she could answer him or not.

Her blue eyes were wet with unfallen tears and she stroked his cheek. ‘You need help, baby. Please ask for help.’

Wolfgang looked away. ‘I can handle it.’

He turned and left the bathroom. There was no point troubling the others with this. In the bedroom, he grabbed a pair of jogging pants and what turned out to be one of Rajan’s t-shirts and pulled them on. Quietly, he headed past his sleeping lovers and went up to the rooftop terrace.

He always came up here when he couldn’t sleep, or when anything was troubling him. The fresh air helped him focus on finding his equilibrium. He used to come up here when he had nightmares, but it had been a while.

He leaned against the railing and looked out over Paris. Fuck, he really didn’t want to have a relapse. He dug his cigarettes out of his pocket but didn’t light one yet. Kala never said anything but he knew she didn’t like him smoking so he tried to resist, when he could.

‘Hey,’ said a warm voice beside him. Wolfgang didn’t have to turn to know it was Will. He should have guessed he’d come to him. He couldn’t stay away when any of the cluster had a problem. He seemed to sense it.

Wolfgang didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure where to start, or how to explain what was bothering him. What had really happened after all? He’d imagined he’d seen people who were long dead and he had an earworm. He’d had a tiring week; that wasn’t anything to worry about after the week he’d had.

He could feel Will watching him, waiting for him to speak but he didn’t know what to say. Angelica had told him to ask for help, but that had never been his strong point and it still wasn’t.

‘Riley said you had an earworm.’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘It’s gone now. Just one of those things.’

‘I can tell something’s bothering you. I know when you’re on edge.’

‘It’s nothing.’

Will sighed. ‘Are we going down this route again, Wolfgang? You not asking for help.’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes, turning his back on Paris and leaning back on the railing. He met Will’s eyes and saw a pretty equal mix of affection and exasperation in those soft blue eyes.

‘I saw Angelica,’ he found himself confessing.

Will’s manner changed subtly and Wolfgang saw a deeper concern come into his face, and a little of the leader he had been during their troubles with BPO. ‘Did she say anything?’ 

Wolfgang nodded but didn’t speak.

Will’s eyebrow quirked. ‘What did she say, Wolfie?’ he asked, his voice deepening warningly.

Wolfgang huffed. ‘She told me to ask for help.’

Will let out a soft chuckle. ‘She knows you so well.’

‘Which is weird for somebody I never met.’

‘She’s our mother. Are you going to listen to her?’

Wolfgang looked at Will. The man talked sense, which was fucking infuriating. He didn’t like this confessional shit. He didn’t like needing help. He didn’t like having to lean on others. But part of being a Sensate was learning to rely on your cluster, learning to trust them with everything. And he did trust them. He trusted them more than he had ever thought possible.

‘When you saw Sara … did she look real?’

Will started in surprise. ‘I didn’t expect you to ask about Sara. What made you ask about her?’

‘Just answer the question,’ snapped Wolfgang.

Will raised an eyebrow. ‘And you say you’re all right?’

Wolfgang didn’t speak, just waited for Will to respond. Will sighed, with only the slightest hint of impatience.

‘She looked real but … the feel of her, it wasn’t as strong as if she’d been there. It was like … seeing an echo.’ He moved a little closer to Wolfgang, so their shoulders brushed. ‘It’s like when we see Angelica.’

Wolfgang nodded. He didn’t look at Will, but focused instead on his cigarettes, still contemplating whether to smoke one.

‘Are you gonna talk to me about this?’ Will asked, his voice more gentle than it should have been really. Wolfgang wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d started to get pissed off with him.

‘I’m going back to bed.’ He stood up straight and took a step.

Will reached out and grasped his shoulder. ‘Wolfgang, what have you seen?’

Wolfgang stopped and looked at him. ‘I’ve seen someone who is dead.’

Will looked closely at him. ‘Your mom?’

‘My father, and my uncle.’

‘When did this happen?’

Wolfgang pulled away and went to sit on the floor at the side of the pool. ‘Yesterday. It was weird.’

Will sat next to him, dangling his legs in the water. He didn’t say anything, just waited for Wolfgang to speak again.

‘I was coming back from work and there was this man on the other side of the road. It was my father and he was just looking at me.’

‘Did he say anything?’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No. I looked again and there was no one there. I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, like when you smell something and you’re right back in your memory.’

‘But something else happened, didn’t it?’

Wolfgang pushed the legs of his pants up to his knees and dangled his own feet in the water, seeking some of the comfort he got from going for a swim. ‘I saw my uncle too, at dinner. One moment, he was outside the restaurant staring at me. The next he’s whispering in my ear.’

‘What did he say?’ asked Will, softly.

‘The same thing he said before I killed him. “What kind of a man betrays his own fucking family?”’

‘Do you feel guilty about what you did there?’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No. It was the only way to protect Felix. Besides, he deserved it,’ he could feel how full of venom his voice was and he wondered if Will was shocked, like Kala had been.

‘Did he hurt you too?’

‘No. But he stood by. He knew what was happening and he didn’t give a fuck.’ He turned to look at Will. ‘You know I went to him, after it happened. I thought, he’s family, he’ll help me.’

‘What did he do?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘Cleaned me up, sent me home.’ A frown settled onto his brow as the memories echoed in his mind. ‘I remember my auntie crying and begging him to do something. He said “a boy belongs with his father.” When he sent my mother back to him, he said “a woman belongs with her husband.”’

‘Why do you think you’re seeing him now?’

Wolfgang shrugged, moving his feet slowly through the water. ‘Dunno. Maybe I need to talk about this stuff.’

‘I’m here.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘You don’t want that shit in your head. Believe me.’

Will took his hand and laced their fingers together. ‘I’m here if you need me.’

Wolfgang smiled warmly at him. ‘I know.’ He sighed and pulled back, standing and shoving his cigarettes back in his pocket. ‘I’ll talk to Corinne about it on Monday. That’s what therapy is for, right?’

Will stood with him. ‘If that’s what you want to do. But just remember we’re all here and if you think there’s something else going on here…’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No, I think it’s just my mind fucking with me. As usual.’ He turned away, though Will stayed with him as he made his way to the door back inside. ‘Just as long as it quits with the earworms, I’ll be fine.’

He made his way downstairs and back into the bedroom. Kala and Rajan were still asleep. He slipped back into bed with them, curling around Kala and slipping his fingers through Rajan’s. Will had left him now and Wolfgang closed his eyes, ready to sleep. He would be okay now.

But as he settled down, those words echoed in his head again.

 _And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_


	5. Chapter 5

Kala woke early in the morning to find herself alone with Rajan in the bed. There was no sign of Wolfgang. She had to admit, she still felt the twist of worry in her gut when this happened. They had been so happy over the past few months, so settled. The nightmares hadn’t troubled Wolfgang for a while but Kala was constantly anxious that they would come back.

She slipped out of bed, got dressed and went to find him. As soon as she got downstairs, she could hear music. One of Wolfgang’s dance playlists was blasting in the living area. What was he doing having a dance party at six o’clock in the morning?

But when she got into the living room, Wolfgang wasn’t dancing. He was sleeping, sprawled out on the sofa. His brow was set with a frown and his mouth was a line. God, maybe he had had a nightmare.

She paused the music, then crossed to Wolfgang and crouched down beside him. She reached out and gently smoothed her hands through his hair. His frown deepened for a moment, then his eyes opened. He looked at her and his brow smoothed.

‘Hi,’ he said, his voice still heavy with sleep.

She smoothed her fingers across his cheek. ‘Are you all right? What you doing sleeping out here?’

He sat up. ‘Couldn’t sleep. Too quiet in there.’

She frowned, trying to read him. She sat on the sofa beside him and he automatically moved his legs up for her. ‘Did you have a nightmare?’

He shook his head. ‘No.’

‘Then what’s wrong?’

He huffed. ‘It’s stupid.’

‘Not if it’s bothering you, it’s not,’ she said, putting her hand on his knee. He looked at her with unreadable eyes for a moment, then sighed and took her hand gently in his.

‘I have an earworm.’

‘Okay … Riley?’

He shook his head. ‘No. She wasn’t even playing the song. It’s like … it’s just these two lines going around and around, over and over again and it won’t fucking stop.’

She frowned at him. ‘That doesn’t sound like an ordinary earworm.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Our brains don’t work that perfectly,’ she said. ‘If it was an earworm, you’d find yourself humming it or singing it but it wouldn’t be constant like that.’

His attention fixed on her as she spoke and he looked hopeful. ‘It wouldn’t?’

She shook her head. ‘No, it wouldn’t. This almost sounds like something …’ She hesitated over saying his name, but then ploughed on. ‘It sounds like something Whispers would do, to drive you mad.’

His mouth opened and he stared at her for a moment, then shook his head. ‘Whispers is dead. I blew up the motherfucking bastard.’

Despite her worry, she couldn’t help but cringe a little at his language. Did he have to swear so much? But this was more important than that.

‘He couldn’t have survived, could he?’ she asked.

Wolfgang just stared at her.

‘There’s no way,’ said Will.

They glanced up and the whole cluster was there, anxiety showing on all their faces.

‘But, what if …’ said Nomi. She looked at Will. ‘What if we didn’t stop him in time? What if he found a way to be immortal after all?’

‘He can’t have,’ said Riley. ‘Can he?’

‘Who knows what is possible,’ said Sun.

‘I cannot believe it. This cannot be happening,’ said Lito. ‘After all he went through.’

‘Wait, wait,’ said Capheus, calmly. ‘We’re jumping to conclusions. Will, Wolfgang, have either of you actually _seen_ Whispers?’

Will and Wolfgang looked at each other, then both shook their heads.

‘He’s right,’ said Riley. ‘There’s no evidence this is anything to do with Whispers.’

‘I don’t give a fuck who this is about, I just need this fucking music to stop,’ snapped Wolfgang. 

Kala laid her hand on his thigh and squeezed gently. ‘Have you thought about blockers?’ she asked, gently.

Wolfgang pulled away from her, standing up and striding a few steps away from them. ‘I don’t want to go on blockers. No way. Not after last time.’

Kala glanced at Will, who shrugged helplessly at her. ‘I don’t blame him.’

‘But Wolfgang,’ she said. ‘If you can’t get any peace from this song, it’s going to drive you mad.’ She went up to him and laid her hand on his shoulder. ‘If I can synthesise a weaker form of the blocker, would you consider it? If I get the quantities right, you’ll still be able to visit all of us, it’ll just help you block out the song, if it is coming from a psychic source. If it isn’t, then at least we’ll know.’

Wolfgang glanced at Will and Riley, who both nodded. Then he sighed and looked back at her. ‘All right, I’ll try it. But I don’t like it.’

‘What’s going on?’ asked Rajan.

Wolfgang and Kala turned their attention to him. He was just coming into the room and he was frowning with confusion.

‘Nothing,’ said Wolfgang, pulling away and returning to the sofa. He flopped down with a humph. ‘I’m just going fucking insane.’

Rajan’s frown deepened and he looked between his two lovers. ‘Er, Wolfie, that’s not a particularly helpful explanation.’ He looked at Kala. ‘What is it?’

Kala sighed. ‘I’m going to have to go to the lab for a bit today. Hopefully just a couple of hours. I’ll go and shower.’

She returned upstairs, hoping that Wolfgang would actually talk to Rajan.

Wolfgang glanced at Rajan, waiting to see if he would interrogate him. Rajan looked back at him for a moment, then strode over to the kitchen.

‘You need breakfast,’ he said.

Wolfgang frowned at him. ‘Is food your solution to everything?’

‘Pretty much. You can’t make sense if you’re hungry.’

Wolfgang shook his head and rolled his eyes. ‘I’m not sure I can make sense on a full stomach either right now.’

Rajan put the oven on, then came over to him. He slid his arm around his shoulders and Wolfgang automatically settled with his head on his lover’s chest. Rajan dropped a kiss into his hair.

‘You don’t _have_ to talk about it but I think it would help.’

Wolfgang groaned. ‘Fuck, Raj, you’re so fucking rational and level-headed.’

Rajan laughed softly. ‘Well, someone has to be, with all you flighty sensates around.’

Wolfgang shifted to look at him. ‘You were right yesterday. Something is wrong. Except, I don’t know what it is. I’ve being seeing things and there’s this song, these two lines that keep going round in my head. I thought it was … some weird sort of relapse but …’

‘Is it a Sensate thing?’

‘That’s what Kala thinks. I dunno. Maybe.’

Rajan rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. ‘Well, between the eight of you, you’ll soon sort it out if it is a Sensate thing.’

‘Whatever it is, I just wish it would stop.’

‘Well, maybe I can take your mind off things while Kala’s at the lab. I assume she’s making you blockers.’

‘Yeah, she reckons a weaker form might help me block out the song. Nomi thinks it could be Whispers.’

‘Is that likely? He’s dead, isn’t he?’

‘I’ve been seeing people who are dead. Why not him?’

Rajan frowned in concern. ‘Who have you seen?’

‘My father and my uncle.’

‘No wonder you were upset.’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I can handle it. If that’s all it is, if it’s just my PTSD …’ He pulled a face. He really didn’t like the diagnosis; however accurate it was. ‘If it’s just that, then I can handle it.’ 

‘Wolfgang, whatever it is, please keep talking about it. Don’t bottle it up, all right.’

Wolfgang gave him a flippant grin. ‘Why change the habit of a lifetime?’

Rajan gave him a look. ‘I’m serious, Wolfie. You won’t be protecting us by keeping things from us.’

Wolfgang met his eyes and saw how serious he was. ‘You say it like it’s easy.’ He sighed. ‘I’ll try.’

Rajan cupped his chin and kissed him softly. ‘I’m here whenever you need me.’

Wolfgang looked away; sometimes Rajan’s love poured out of him so strongly, it was hard for him to take. ‘The oven’s warmed up.’

Rajan sighed and pulled away. Wolfgang huffed and got up, digging his cigarettes out of his pocket and headed towards the balcony. Sometimes, he really wished Rajan didn’t know him as well as he did. It was far too easy for the man to see right through his act. Wolfgang had spent a lifetime building up this front to protect himself, only to end up living with two people who saw right through it. Not to mention the rest of his cluster.

He leaned against the railing and slid out a cigarette. He felt rather than heard Rajan come up behind him. He didn’t turn, just stood still as Rajan stepped up behind him and put his arms around his waist.

He pressed a kiss to Wolfgang’s shoulder. ‘Please don’t shut us out, my love,’ he murmured.

Wolfgang leaned back into that warm embrace and sighed. He didn’t reply but he knew Rajan could feel him relax into him and he knew he understood.

The silence rested companionably between them for a moment, before Rajan pulled back and looked quizzically at him. ‘Is this my t-shirt?’

Wolfgang laughed. ‘Yeah. But you’re always stealing mine.’

Rajan laughed and held him a little closer.


	6. Chapter 6

_Listen to me_.

That cool voice slid over him, pulsing through his mind. He didn’t want to do this. It was too much. He wasn’t strong enough, not without _them_. He wanted them, his cluster, but they were gone. Long ago now.

_You’d be alone without me, Dacian. You need me._

‘But I don’t want to do this.’

_You are going to do it. His cluster is whole, while yours is in tatters. Is that fair?_

‘No … I don’t know.’

_You can have his strength. Have everything. All you have to do is take it._

Dacian whimpered but he couldn’t resist that voice. He closed his eyes and focused. He reached out for the machine and his skin tingled as he switched it on. He needed that strength. He would take it. It would be his and then he would be strong. 

Wolfgang didn’t feel strong and he hated it. Rajan had made them sausage and egg sandwiches for breakfast, while Kala had just grabbed a croissant and a coffee before heading out to the lab.

Rajan had put music on and it was helping. It might have been his imagination but his earworm seemed to be getting quieter. So that was something.

He couldn’t help but smile at Rajan. He was so eager to help; it was endearing.

‘What do you want to do?’ he asked, after Kala had left. ‘We could dance? Or fuck?’

Wolfgang laughed. ‘Are you just naming my hobbies?’

‘I’m trying to distract you. Is it working?’

‘Yeah. But let’s just … hang out. You can read your book if you want.’

‘What about you?’

‘I just want to try to relax.’

Rajan nodded. ‘All right, if that’s what you want.’

They settled on the sofa. Rajan picked up his book and Wolfgang leaned against him. Rajan put his arm around his shoulders. Wolfgang closed his eyes and focused on the sound of the music around them, and the warmth of Rajan against him. His lover was so steady, calm and level-headed, and it helped calm him too.

He reached for Rajan’s hand where it lay against his chest and laced their fingers together. Rajan’s chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm beneath him and he could feel himself drifting towards sleep.

 _And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

He groaned as the words pulsed louder in his head.

‘You can still hear it?’ Rajan asked softly.

Wolfgang nodded, pressing his face into Rajan’s chest. ‘It just won’t fucking stop.’

Rajan squeezed his hand gently. ‘The blockers will help. You just have to hang on.’

Wolfgang sat up, letting go of Rajan and dragging his hands through his hair. ‘I hate this. I feel … weak and I can’t fucking stand it.’

Rajan rubbed his back. ‘You’re not weak. You’re the strongest person I know. You’ve been through so much and you’re still here, still fighting. You’ll get through this too. Trust me. You’re so strong, Wolfie.’

‘I’m not strong. It’s just a front, that’s all. Inside, I’m still that frightened little boy and I hate it. I fucking _hate_ it.’ He found himself shouting and he didn’t know why.

Rajan’s hand was still on his back, warm and solid and Wolfgang tried to focus on it but when he glanced up, his blood ran cold.

His father was staring at him.

Wolfgang stared back, fear turning his veins to ice.

Then Anton Bogdanow started to laugh. The laughter burned through Wolfgang, turning fear to anger.

He leapt to his feet and felt Rajan jump up behind him.

‘Fuck you!’

‘Wolfie?’ Rajan said, gently.

Wolfgang kept his eyes on that ruddy, laughing face he hated so much. ‘Fuck you, you fucking cunt. Get the fuck out of my head!’ he yelled.

Rajan stepped in front of him and put both hands on his shoulders. ‘Wolfgang, look at me. There is no one there.’

Wolfgang looked into those soft brown eyes but he could still see his father out of the corner of his eyes. He could still hear him laughing.

‘My boy!’ he laughed. ‘You’re a killer, just like me!’

‘You’re a fucking monster,’ muttered Wolfgang.

‘I am a man! And you are just like me.’

Wolfgang clasped his hands over his ears. ‘Shut the fuck up!’

He felt Rajan pull him into a tight hug. ‘It’s all right,’ he murmured against him. ‘You’re safe.’ His voice vibrated through his body but it couldn’t block out his father’s taunts. His chest ached and he couldn’t breathe.

‘Make it stop,’ he sobbed.

Suddenly, Rajan grasped his hand firmly and tugged him away. ‘Come on.’

Wolfgang followed him, meekly. He would do anything just to make this stop.

He found himself on the balcony, looking out over that familiar view over Paris. Rajan was holding his hand.

‘Breathe,’ said Rajan firmly.

Wolfgang took a ragged breath of cold air, then another. He glanced at Rajan, who was watching him carefully, patiently waiting for him to find his calm.

‘I’m all right,’ he said, though his heart was still pounding.

‘Take your time,’ said Rajan. ‘There’s no rush here. We’re just going to stay here and breathe. That’s all you have to think about it.’

‘I just want this to stop.’

‘I know. Focus on your breathing. Focus on me. You’re okay. You’re totally safe.’

Wolfgang took another deep breath, then turned to look over his shoulder. There was no one else there, just Rajan next to him.

‘He’s gone.’

Rajan nodded and gave him a smile. ‘Good. Feeling better?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘Yeah. Sorry for freaking out.’

‘There’s nothing to be sorry about, Wolfgang,’ Rajan said warmly. He put his arm around Wolfgang’s shoulders and pulled him in close. ‘Everything’s going to be all right, my love. Kala will be home soon with the blockers and we’ll work out what’s going on.’

Wolfgang didn’t speak, just pressed his face into Rajan’s shoulder and breathed him in. 

At her lab, Kala worried and worked at the same time. She had become quite adept at that sort of multitasking. She could feel Wolfgang’s tension and it was making her anxious too. When she’d left the flat, Rajan had been putting on some music, to help distract Wolfgang from the song in his head.

She knew he’d be all right with Rajan. She was proud of the way her husband had taken her lover into his heart. They were so close now and she knew Wolfgang trusted him like he trusted her and the rest of the cluster. He even took him into his confidence now.

She was trying to keep her own worry to herself but it wasn’t easy. She knew the cluster, including Wolfgang could feel it. Could this be Whispers? It was the sort of thing he might do but surely, he couldn’t have survived. It was impossible. Or … nearly impossible.

Kala sighed as she measured out her ingredients. They would soon know anyway.

‘How’s it going?’ asked Will.

‘I think I’ve got it. I’ve halved everything so we should still be able to get through. It should just help him block out what he doesn’t want to hear. I hope.’ She looked up into his face. ‘Do you think it could be Whispers?’

Will shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Last night, Wolfgang was talking to me about ghosts, that he’s been seeing people. Not Whispers though. I don’t know. He thought it was a relapse but … I dunno it seems like something more is going on.’

Kala started to measure the powder into the pill press. ‘Whatever’s going on, I know this is not an earworm. These should help.’

‘Let’s hope so.’ He put his hand on her shoulder. ‘Kala, keep a close eye on him, will you? If his connection with us is going to be weakened, I’m worried he’ll try to handle this by himself. It’s not like he hasn’t got form.’

Kala nodded, sighing. ‘I know. We’ll look after him. Don’t worry.’


	7. Chapter 7

When Kala got home with the blockers, she saw that Rajan and Wolfgang were outside on the balcony.

‘He trusts Rajan,’ Will said. ‘That’s good.’ He had stayed with her, his concern bleeding strongly through their connection.

‘Rajan’s so steady,’ she said. ‘He’s easy to trust.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Right, here we go.’

She went through to the balcony. Rajan and Wolfgang were leaning on the rail together, their shoulders brushing. They were looking out over Paris and chatting in low voices.

Wolfgang felt her approach and he turned towards her. ‘Hey,’ he said. There was a smile on his face but she could feel his anxiety bubbling under the surface and, if she concentrated, she could just hear the repeating refrain of two lines of music. Gosh, no wonder it was driving him mad.

She stepped towards him and he reached out for her, pulling her into a hug. He was gentle but he held her close, holding on like she was his anchor in a dark and confusing world. She knew that was how she felt.

As she eased out of the hug, she pressed the bottle of capsules into his hand. ‘It’s a half dose. Tell me if it’s too strong or too weak.’

He nodded, then pulled away and went inside to take one.

Kala looked at Rajan. ‘Has he been all right?’

Rajan shook his head. ‘He had … I don’t know what to call it. An episode? Shouting at thin air, terrified, furious. I’ve never seen him like that. He said he could see his father.’

‘I just hope the blockers help.’

‘I definitely think you’re right about that. I don’t think this is a relapse. He wasn’t like this before. He had nightmares and panic attacks but he didn’t _see_ things, and this music in his head is constant, like you said. That’s not an emotional thing. It sounds like some sort of physic attack.’

Kala looked to her right, where six of the cluster were all standing with her. ‘We’re all worried. Whether it’s Whispers or not, something serious is going on. I just don’t know why they had to choose Wolfgang.’

‘Your cluster is well-known, isn’t it, including Wolfgang. It might just be that.’ He took her hand and squeezed it gently. ‘We’ll be here for him.’

They went back inside. Wolfgang was heading towards the stairs.

‘Where you off to?’ Rajan asked.

‘Is that blocker starting to work?’ Kala asked.

Wolfgang looked at them, sighing, and Kala realised how awful he looked. There were bags under his eyes and he looked sort of faded and not quite with it.

‘Yeah, I’m going to try and sleep.’

‘Want some company?’ Rajan asked. ‘We might as well spend some of our anniversary weekend together.’

Wolfgang gave them a faint smile and nodded but didn’t reply. He carried on upstairs. Rajan and Kala joined him.

They settled in bed together, with Wolfgang in the middle. Kala wasn’t planning on sleeping but she wanted to be with Wolfgang, to make sure he was okay. She could see from the concern on his face that Rajan felt the same.

Wolfgang was asleep in minutes, with his head against her chest and with Rajan spooning behind him. Kala watched Wolfgang sleep for a little while before she reached for her book. Rajan didn’t reach for his. He just stroked Wolfgang’s hip and dropped a kiss on the back of his head.

Kala smiled. Rajan had always been an attentive partner and she loved seeing him be like that with Wolfgang as well. She knew it was something Wolfgang sometimes found it difficult to accept but she knew he loved it as well.

A few hours later, Wolfgang woke feeling refreshed. He’d had a deep sleep, untroubled by the music. His cluster felt a little further away but they were still there and, as long as he was with Kala in person, he felt all right about that. He could feel the cluster through her as well. He’d never thought he’d become so dependant on anyone like that, but was with his cluster. He might as well admit it.

He was sandwiched pleasantly between Kala and Rajan as he woke. He could hear by Rajan’s breathing and the gentle movement of his hand on his hip that he was awake. He shifted back a little and looked up at Kala.

She put down her book and smiled at him. ‘Hello. Are you feeling better?’

He smiled. ‘Lots.’ He frowned. ‘I can still feel something trying to get through but it’s so much weaker now, almost like a buzzing in my ear. A little annoying but I can ignore it.’

She nodded. She reached behind her. ‘You’d better take another before that one wears off.’ She passed him the bottle and her glass of water. Rajan pulled back to let him sit up and he took the blocker.

Then he lay back again. ‘I’m sorry I fucked up our anniversary.’

Rajan slid his hand across Wolfgang’s stomach. ‘We still have time for some fun, if you feel like it.’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘Are you trying to distract me with hobbies again?’

Rajan smirked. ‘Certainly, if you’d like me to.’

‘Fuck, yes,’ said Wolfgang, grasping hold of Rajan’s shirt and bringing him close for a kiss. He felt Kala’s hand on his hip, sliding gently beneath his shirt. He moaned softly into Rajan as both their hands began to caress him, gently and teasingly. They both knew him so well; they knew exactly where to touch him.

Working as an efficient team, they began to undress him. Rajan pulled his shirt over his head and those strong, dark hands spread over his pale chest, tweaking a nipple and smirking as Wolfgang pushed up into him.

Kala’s hands were at the waistband of his jogging pants. He lifted his hips for her as she slid them and his boxers down. He kicked them away eagerly. Her hand was warm on his thigh, her fingertips featherlight as they caressed his inner thigh tenderly. 

Rajan’s mouth was making its way down his neck now, kissing and licking. Then he reached a nipple and he caught hold of it between his teeth, twisting, then immediately soothing with his tongue.

Wolfgang’s eyes drifted shut as he gave himself up to the sensations his lovers were creating through his body. This was good. This was what he needed. Fuck, he loved them both so much.

Kala was shifting down his body now and Rajan moved to the side for her. She trailed soft kisses down his belly. She kissed the scar near his navel and he felt a pulse of love from her that permeated his body and mind.

Then, _oh god,_ she was taking his cock into her mouth. He opened his eyes and looked down at the sight before him. Rajan was looking too, because this wasn’t something that happened often.

Her beautiful mouth was around the head his cock and he could feel her tongue teasing at his sensitive flesh. She met his eyes and there was that love again. He recognised a little of Will’s technique, and some of Riley’s in her and he grinned, knowing that they were both with them, though he couldn’t feel them that strongly.

His eyes drifted closed as the sensations became more intense as she became braver with the cluster’s support. Rajan’s arm slipped around him and their mouths met as Rajan’s other hand slid over his chest, finding a nipple again and tweaking lightly.

Wolfgang felt safe under his lovers’ attention. He knew they would be there for him, no matter what. Whatever was going on, they would face it together.

He cried out as he came and she swallowed him down. Rajan held him close, dropping kisses into his hair, on his jaw and into his shoulder. He reached for them both, wanting nothing more than to be close to them.


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of the weekend went well. Wolfgang kept up with his blockers and was able to keep the song to just little snatches every now and then. He could feel the cluster but more faintly than usual, just like they were just busy with their own lives. He could feel their presence and their feelings but it wasn’t so easy to visit.

Monday morning, he woke early. He hadn’t had a nightmare, or at least not one he could remember, but his heart was racing and he felt on edge. He grabbed his cigarettes and went out to the balcony.

He’d been standing there for a few minutes smoking when he realised Will was standing next to him. He smiled. It was good to see him. He hadn’t actually seen any of the others since he’d started taking the blockers.

‘I think you need to take your next dose,’ said Will. He looked a little faint, but he was definitely there with him.

Wolfgang nodded. ‘In a minute. The song isn’t back yet. It’s good to see you.’

Will smiled. ‘It’s good to see you too. How are you?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I’m all right. Got therapy this morning. I’m a bit …’

‘What?’

‘Nervous.’

‘About therapy?’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘About going out there on blockers. It’s been a long since we weren’t connected and it feels like there’s something coming.’

‘Like what?’

‘Don’t know.’ He looked at Will. ‘Do you think we’re being hunted again?’

‘If we are, it isn’t like last time. Whispers was connected to both of us. If it was him, I would have felt it. You haven’t even seen him, have you?’

Wolfgang shook his head again. ‘Not a sign. Just my uncle and my father.’

‘What about Angelica?’

‘Not since the other night.’

‘Maybe the blockers are keeping her away.’

Wolfgang sighed and stubbed out his cigarette. ‘No. I saw her when I was in Whispers’ fucking lab. I don’t think blockers stop her.’ He frowned, glancing suddenly at Will. ‘Do you think that’s just because she’s our mother or … maybe the blockers don’t work on physic memories.’

‘But you haven’t seen your father or your uncle since you started taking the blockers.’

‘I don’t know. I just think this is about something. I just don’t know what.’

‘Maybe take Kala with you when you go out. Then Sun or I can help if anything happens.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘If I am being hunted, I don’t want to put her in danger.’

‘Wolfgang…’

Wolfgang turned to look at him. ‘No, Will. I won’t put any of you in danger.’ He looked down at his cigarette packet as he debated lighting another. ‘I’d rather die.’

Will reached for him, sliding his arms around him, and pulled him into a close embrace. ‘Wolfie,’ he murmured. He held him so tight and Wolfgang could feel the cop’s feelings for him pulsing between them. 

Wolfgang held him back. ‘Don’t worry, Will.’ He patted his back and pulled away. ‘I can handle myself.’

Will gave him a look that clearly said he’d heard it all before but Wolfgang didn’t want to argue about it. ‘I’ll let you know what Corinne says.’ He went inside and took another blocker.

Back in the bedroom, he smiled as he saw Kala and Rajan still sleeping peacefully, snuggling together. They’d have to get up soon but for now, he could let them sleep. He didn’t care so much what was happening to him, as long as they were all right.

He leaned over them and pressed a soft kiss to Rajan’s lips, then Kala’s. He loved them more than he ever thought was possible, and he was determined to protect them, no matter what was going on.

He went for a shower, planning on getting dressed and making a start on breakfast before his lovers got up for the day. Then it would be time for his therapy session. He hoped she’d be able to help him sort through everything that had happened. 

He walked through the streets alone, heading towards his appointment. Kala and Rajan had both been worried about him as well, possibly Will had had a word, but Wolfgang had been insistent. He was going alone and that was that.

He wondered what Corinne was going to say. He knew she had to have sensed a little of what was going on, though he knew she gave him his privacy between sessions, unless he called for her. Though the blockers working indicated some other sensate was involved here, he didn’t entirely believe it wasn’t his own head fucking with him. It had done strange things to him before.

The back of his neck prickled and he stopped, glancing behind him. There were plenty of people around, but nobody that stood out.

He was just on edge. He focused and kept walking. Corinne would make him feel better.

As he kept walking, he still felt like he was being watched and he didn’t like it.

‘I’m concerned about you,’ Corinne said, as soon as he sat down.

‘I thought you’d have sensed something.’

‘It isn’t just that. I hope you’ll forgive me for saying this, Wolfgang, but you look awful.’

He chuckled humourlessly. ‘Thanks.’ He rubbed his hand over his face. ‘I haven’t been sleeping well.’

‘I’m not sensing anything from you now but I can see you’re anxious. Are you on blockers? You’re a little more distant than usual.’

He nodded, clenching his fists to stop his shaking. ‘Kala made me some half strength blockers.’

‘Are you having thoughts you want to keep from your cluster?’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No. It’s … it’s hard to explain.’

She watched him, waiting patiently for him to explain. He smiled faintly. He recognised her techniques by now.

‘I’ve seen my uncle and my father, like they’re still here. They taunt me or they just stare at me. And I keep hearing these words, of a song I don’t even know, playing over and over again. It’s like someone’s trying to drive me mad.’

She frowned, shifting slightly in her seat and, despite her calm exterior, he could see her concern. ‘Do you think you’re having a relapse?’

‘That’s what I thought at first but now I’m not sure. It sounds like something Whispers would do, doesn’t it?’

‘Wolfgang, we all know that Whispers is dead,’ she said, gently. ‘I think it’s possible this is a fear manifesting itself in strange ways.’

He leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. ‘Maybe. I can’t shake the feeling I’m being hunted.’

‘Who would be hunting you, Wolfgang?’

‘How should I know?’ he snapped. Then he sighed. ‘Sorry. I’m irritable, I know.’

‘I think you’d benefit from talking this through. Do you want to talk about why you think you’re seeing your uncle and your father?’

‘What I want is for this whole thing to fucking stop and let me get on with my life. I don’t want to be on blockers. I don’t want to hear that music again. I don’t want to see them. I just want to get on with things. I’m fucking happy, okay? And I don’t see why they should get to ruin that when they’re fucking dead already.’

‘Wolfgang,’ Corinne said, gently.

Wolfgang couldn’t stand hearing that calm voice anymore. His heart was pounding with anger and fear. He couldn’t stand this anymore. He stood up. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now.’

He turned and strode out of the building, guilt already twisting his stomach. She didn’t deserve to be the recipient of his anger and he knew she was right. But he just couldn’t do it.

His body was pulsing so fiercely with anger that he didn’t see the taser until it was too late.


	9. Chapter 9

Pain ricocheted across the cluster, catching them with an intense sharpness that took their breath away.

Sun was leading a meeting. One moment, she was taking her staff through some figures, the next she couldn’t breathe. Her staff gathered round her but she couldn’t speak to reassure them. The pain shot through her and she was right back in that dark room, deep in the prison.

It dragged Lito and Nomi screaming out of a deep sleep, their chests pounding and their heads throbbing with his fear.

Capheus was eating lunch with Zakia. He heard his fork clatter to the ground at the same time as his body was consumed with white hot pain. His lungs burned as he gasped for breath.

Will was making breakfast for Riley. He’d left her warm and sleepy in their bed, just stirring out of sleep. He reached for the frying pan and it hit him, just as his fingers closed on the handle. It was like an electric shock shooting through his body. He fell to the floor and his screams mingled with Riley’s from upstairs. Somewhere he could hear Gunnar frantically calling her name, then his name.

Rajan had just turned away from his wife to hang their jackets on the back of his office door. He heard her cry out and turned just in time to see her fall, her back arching and her face creased in pain. He was beside her in a second, his arm sliding around her shoulders and holding her up as she shook.

‘Kala, what is it?’

She had no breath to speak as the pain rocked her body. _Wolfgang_.

Finally, it was over and she fought to stay conscious. Her mind sought out her cluster. She could feel them all coming to. Lito, Capheus and Nomi finding enough breath to reassure their lovers. She could feel Sun struggling to her feet and brushing herself down.

Will and Riley reached each other and she could feel the fear, anger and echoes of pain in their bodies.

Kala focused on her husband’s anxious face.

‘Kala? Please, my love, what’s wrong?’

‘Wolfgang,’ she gasped.

She met his eyes and saw the alarm there. ‘What about him? What’s happened?’

‘I don’t know.’ She scrambled to her feet. ‘There was pain and now …’ She stared at him in alarm. ‘Now, there’s nothing. I can’t feel anything. Will?’

Will was there in a second. ‘I’m here.’ His voice was tight. ‘Where was he, Kala?’ he asked, urgently.

‘He was coming out of his therapy session. Oh, god, Will, what if he’s dead?’

‘He’s not dead. We would have felt that. I think he’s unconscious. Now don’t panic.’

‘Don’t panic? Wolfgang’s been tasered!’

‘Tasered? What?’ asked Rajan, panic rising in his own voice.

Riley slipped her fingers through Kala’s. ‘It’ll be all right. We found him before, we’ll find him again. We’re booking the next flight out there right now. We’ll be with you as soon as we can.’

Will caught hold of her by her shoulders. She could feel his worry but his leader side was taking over and he was keeping his own panic at bay. ‘Kala, I need you to go to his therapist and see if you can find anything. Then go to River, tell her what’s happened and ask for help.’

‘If this is BPO again …’ started Nomi.

‘We can trust River,’ said Riley. 

‘But how do we know that?’ asked Lito.

‘We know,’ said Riley.

Then Capheus was there, looking around at them all. ‘We a lot of connections between us. We should use them.’

‘He’s right,’ said Will. ‘Everybody ask around. Somebody will know something.’

‘Oh, what’s he going through?’ Kala said, her voice breaking. ‘Anything could be happening to him.’

‘He is a fighter,’ said Sun, in her calm, level-headed way. ‘He will survive.’

They all looked at her, and took a deep breath. They were all grateful for her calm, and they knew she was right. Wolfgang had been through a lot but he had always been a fighter and he would get through whatever was going on.

Kala turned as the cluster separated. She reached for her jacket. ‘We have to go,’ she said, pulling her coat on.

Rajan frowned at her. ‘What’s going on? What’s this about Wolfgang being tasered?’

Kala looked at him and felt a twinge as she saw his confused face. She tried to organise her thoughts, to fill Rajan in.

‘We think someone’s taken Wolfgang. We felt pain, like a taser, now he’s gone.’

Rajan’s eyes widened. ‘Gone? But …’

‘He’s not dead,’ said Kala firmly. ‘Will thinks he’s been taken. It was just when he was coming out of his therapy so we need to go there first and see if we can find him, or anything that might show us where he is.’

Rajan nodded, reaching for his own coat. ‘All right, let’s go.’ He found Kala’s hand and squeezed it. ‘We’ll find him, my love. I’m sure we will.’ 

As they made their way to the building a few blocks away where Wolfgang had his therapy, Kala kept feeling for him. The half-blockers would still be working but she should be able to reach him. After all, when BPO had him, she’d been able to reach him on blockers and sedatives. She had to be able to reach him. But there was nothing.

Rajan kept a tight hold of her hand and she knew he was feeling as worried as she was. She could also feel the fear and the anxiety of the whole cluster reverberating through her body. How could they be going through this again? Maybe worse this time because they didn’t even know who might have taken him.

Outside Corinne’s office building, there was no sign anything untoward had happened. It was a quiet area and there was no one around.

‘No witnesses,’ she said.

Rajan sighed. ‘No sign of any disruption. Maybe we should speak to Corinne?’

Kala nodded. ‘I think he’d left before anything happened but she might have seen something.’

‘No stone left unturned,’ said Rajan, giving her a reassuring smile.

They went inside. The receptionist looked up, his brow furrowing in confusion. ‘Do you have an appointment?’ he asked.

Kala stepped forward. ‘We’re here about our partner. He’s one of Corinne’s patients. We just need to speak to her.’

‘Patient’s details are confidential.’

‘No, no, you don’t understand,’ spluttered Kala.

Rajan stepped forward. ‘We think someone has assaulted him, possibly kidnapped him immediately after his appointment this morning.’

The receptionist’s mouth fell open, then he reached for the intercom. ‘Corinne, I’ve got a couple of people to see you urgently.’

‘I’ll be right out.’

When she emerged, she was smiling but she looked paler than Kala had seen her through Wolfgang, and there was something anxious about her smile.

‘You must be Kala and Rajan. How can I help?’

‘Something’s happened to Wolfgang,’ Kala said. ‘He’s gone missing.’

Corinne looked between them and her smile turned to a frown. ‘He was here less than an hour ago.’

‘We felt something happen to him as he left here. There was pain and then he was gone.’

‘I … I shouldn’t say this but he said he was being hunted. I thought he was having some … paranoid feelings but …’

‘It’s real, it’s all real what he was hearing and seeing, and now he’s gone. Somebody’s taken him and we need to find him,’ Kala cried.

Rajan squeezed her hand. ‘We just need to know if you saw anything, or you know anything about who it could be, we need to know.’

She shook her head. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t see anything. He wasn’t in session for very long. He was agitated and upset. Because of the blockers, I couldn’t get a clear picture of what was going on but he was more upset than I’ve seen him for a long while. Listen, I’ll ask around. I have a lot of connections. Someone might know something.’

‘Thank you,’ said Rajan. ‘We appreciate that. Come on, Kala. I think we’ve achieved all we’re going to here.’

Reluctantly, Kala let him lead her out. She didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to go from this place where Wolfgang had last been. But there were no clues here. He could be anywhere and they had no leads whatever.


	10. Chapter 10

Wolfgang was drifting in blackness. There was pain somewhere, a vague pain or an echo of pain. His shoulders burned and he couldn’t move his arms. He felt damp air on his skin and the caress of material across his eyes. He opened them and could still see nothing but blackness.

He shifted uncomfortably and realised he was on a hard surface. He couldn’t move more than a couple of inches either way. His legs were tied and his arms were bound behind his back. His clothes were gone, except for his boxers. At least he had something.

He remembered the taser. ‘Fuck,’ he muttered. He remembered catching glimpse of a person, whose face was hidden by a hood, then the taser hitting the next moment. Shit, not again. Why hadn’t he stayed focused? He’d known something was happening and instead of defending himself, he’d let his anger cloud his judgement.

Still, at least no one had been with him. He never would have forgiven himself if Kala had been kidnapped too. Or worse.

Cautiously, he felt for his cluster. There was nothing there. He couldn’t feel any of them. Not even Kala, or Will.

Right, well he was on his own then. He could deal with that. Maybe it was better for him to be on his own. Then none of them would be hurt. He could handle whatever his kidnapper threw at him. And if … if they were going to kill him, well Wolfgang was determined that his cluster would be protected.

He heard a door opening and he tensed, knowing that with his hands tied behind his back and his legs tied, he could do nothing to fight back. With the blindfold on, he couldn’t even see to headbutt his assailant.

He heard footsteps, slowly coming towards him.

_The pressure of his father’s heavy body forces the air from his lungs and cracks his body._

He blinked, shaking his head, furiously. He would _not_ be weak and helpless again. He wouldn’t.

‘Come on then, you fucking chicken shit. Too scared to face me? You fucking cunt. I’ll kill you.’

‘Vos confidere in Mendacio,’ came a smooth, soft reply. Despite the low volume, he could hear it was a man’s voice.

‘What the fuck does that mean, you fucking lunatic?’

‘Vos confidere in Mendacio.’

‘Right, I fucking get it. You like repeating shit, don’t you? Was it you with the song, you mad fucker?’

‘Vos confidere in Mendacio.’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes. ‘Great, first I get kidnapped by a psycho, now a lunatic.’

He felt the man leaning over him, then the blindfold was pulled off. He squinted as the harsh light hit his eyes. He looked around. He was on what looked like a hospital trolley, just like the one Whispers had kept him on.

But the man leaning over him wasn’t Whispers. He was too slim. His face was obscured by a plain black mask. Wolfgang couldn’t see his eyes or anything of the man other than thin brown hair on his head. He wore a plain black suit, utterly non-descript. Even his shoes were plain black. He carried a plain black hold all.

‘Who are you?’

‘Vos confidere in Mendacio.’

Wolfgang groaned. Great, he was stuck with a kidnapper who just spoke shit to him, in some language he didn’t know. Well, that narrowed it down by nine languages.

If he could contact his cluster, they could find out for him. There was still nothing from them. He must be on blockers. _Fuck_.

His kidnapper was watching him. Wolfgang glared at him. Skinny little fuck; he could knock him down in an instant if he was free. There must be some way to get out of this. Now he could see, he’d have a look around as soon as this nutter left him alone.

Out of the bag, he brought a needle, already loaded with something. He stepped towards Wolfgang. Wolfgang tried to squirm away but he was so tightly tied he could barely move and he couldn’t get away from that needle.

It pierced his upper arm with a sharp pain. He glared at his kidnapper but it didn’t do any good. In moments, his body stilled and he couldn’t move a muscle. It was like a heavy blanket was pinning him down.

Suddenly, he was flipped over onto his front. Panic shot through him as memories flashed through his head, invading his mind. _No, no, no, stop it._ He was right back in his childhood, his father pushing him into the carpet.

But his kidnapper barely touched him and his boxers stayed in place. Instead, he found his hands and feet were being untied. Not that it helped. He couldn’t fight back. He couldn’t even move his pinkie finger.

He was moved back onto his back and his hands were cuffed to the sides of the bed. His captor reached behind him and Wolfgang heard the scrape of wheels on the floor. He saw an IV trolley, with an IV on it, ready.

He glared as his captor as the canula was roughly inserted into a vein in his arm. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of giving any signs of pain.

The IV was inserted, then his captor looked at him. ‘Vos confidere in Mendacio.’

Wolfgang tried to speak and found he was able to again. ‘Fucking psycho. Coward. Come on, face me man to man if you’re so fucking brave.’

But his captor didn’t say anything. He picked up his bag, turned and walked out.

‘Fucking cunt! Get back here and face me!’

The man said nothing more, just walked out of the door and locked it behind him. A moment later, there was a crackle in the air and music started playing from two speakers over the door.

_Don't take yourself so seriously  
Look at you all dressed up for someone you never see  
You're here for a reason but you don't know why  
You're split and uneven your hands to the sky  
Surrender yourself_

_And I wonder why I tear myself down  
To be built back up again  
Oh I hope somehow, I'll wake up young again  
All that's left of myself  
Holes in my false confidence  
And now I lay myself down  
And hope I wake up young again  
Hope I wake up young again_


	11. Chapter 11

Rajan and Kala stepped out of Corinne’s office building, feeling at a loss. They were still no closer to finding Wolfgang. Kala knew they should be making their way to see River but she couldn’t leave yet. This was where Wolfgang had last been seen, where they had left felt him. They couldn’t just leave.

‘Where did Will want us to go next?’ Rajan asked, after Kala had stood dithering for a moment.

‘He wants us to ask River for help but … we can’t leave.’

‘Kala, he isn’t here. We need help and we’re not going to get it standing here.’ He tugged her hand gently. ‘Come on, my love.’

Reluctantly, she came away. There really was no sign of him here. She was at a loss. What were they supposed to do? What could they do?

‘We need to tell Felix,’ she said as they started to walk. ‘Wolfgang was due at the shop after his appointment.’

They made their way to the shop. Felix was in the back. When he heard the shop bell, he emerged, his phone to his ear. He frowned at them and hung up the phone.

‘Where’s Wolfie? He should have been here an hour, die Fotze.’

Kala swallowed. ‘He’s …’ Her voice broke and she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t say it.

Rajan squeezed her hand. ‘He’s gone missing, after his therapy session. We think someone’s taken him.’

‘Scheiße, is this one of your lot again? That BPO?’

‘We don’t know,’ Rajan said, glancing at Kala. ‘They … the cluster can’t feel him.’

‘Right, well I’ll shut up the shop and help you look for him.’ He looked at Kala. ‘We’ll find him. He’s always getting himself in shit and he’s always got out of it.’

She nodded and managed to give him a small smile. She was grateful for him. He was the best friend Wolfgang had ever had and he would always be there. He would do anything for him.

It still felt strange to just walk into BPO’s Paris headquarters. Kala’s nerves were echoed across the rest of the cluster. But she could feel Wolfgang’s absence in the cluster during every moment and it made her chest ache.

‘Focus,’ said Sun, her hand sliding briefly across Kala’s back.

‘We’ll find him,’ said Will. ‘We found him before and we’ll do it again.’

Kala nodded, trying to make herself believe the words. They spoke to the receptionist, who recognised Kala, and they were directed upstairs to River’s office.

She smiled warmly at them. ‘Hello, Kala, to what do I owe the pleasure?’

‘I’m afraid it’s not a pleasure,’ said Rajan. ‘We think Wolfgang’s been kidnapped.’

River’s gentle face creased in concern. ‘When did this happen?’

‘This morning,’ said Kala, trying to keep her voice steady. ‘We felt his pain, terrible pain and now there’s nothing. We think he’s unconscious or … on strong blockers … or …’ She broke off, unable to finish the thought that Will was wrong, that Wolfgang was no longer …

‘We will find him,’ repeated Will. His voice was tight and Kala glanced briefly around at where he was. She recognised Reykjavik Airport and saw Riley with him. They were coming. She felt gratitude wash over her. When Will and Riley got there, everything would be better. They always knew what to do. Will always had a plan.

‘If he is on blockers, it may be difficult or impossible to trace him.’ She hesitated. ‘We do have some equipment that may be able to trace him. The cannibal was developing it. We haven’t touched it since then. We have no interest in tracing any of you under normal circumstances.’

‘If it can help find Wolfgang, do it,’ said Kala, firmly.

River smiled gently at her. ‘We will if necessary but the only way it can be done is through pain and I don’t like the idea of that.’

‘I’ll go through any pain necessary to find Wolfgang.’

‘I don’t think he would thank you for that. Or me,’ said River. ‘Before we even think about that, I’m going to examine the CCTV. With some luck, we might see something that helps us to find him.’

‘Thank you,’ Kala whispered, holding back her tears.

Back at the flat, Kala, Rajan and Felix sat in silence, unsure what to do. River had said that getting the CCTV would take a little bit of time and now there was nothing to do but wait.

Kala didn’t like waiting; waiting for River to get hold of the CCTV; waiting for Will and Riley to arrive; waiting to feel something, _anything_ from Wolfgang.

She didn’t understand it. Even when he’d been on blockers and sedatives after Whispers had taken him, they’d been able to connect. Nothing had ever been able to keep them apart.

What was he going through? What was his kidnapper doing to him? What did they want with him in the first place?

Rajan reached out and took her hand. ‘We’ll find him, my love. I promise. We’re not going to give up on him.’ He smiled. ‘And he’s so stubborn he won’t give up either.’

Kala nodded at him, then glanced at Felix. The German looked back at her and there was a darkness, a sadness in his eyes. He knew Wolfgang as well as anybody. He had seen him through his worst times. He knew the traumas he’d been through and she knew that the same thought echoed in his mind as did in hers.

_What if this is one trauma too many? What if he’s reached the limit of what he can cope with? What if he doesn’t want to fight anymore?_

She felt Riley put her arms around her, then Will close by. His calm manner didn’t quite manage to cover his worry. Sun and Nomi were better at it, as they held her hands. Lito’s pacing wasn’t really helping but Capheus’s energy was warm and strong. She knew they were all there with her, no matter what. They were one. They had done so much together, achieved so much.

But what if this was too much? What if they weren’t going to be eight anymore? What if now they were just seven?


	12. Chapter 12

_Her touch is soft on his cheek and he leans into that hand he knows so well. He feels her warmth against his skin. Her body against his and her arms around him warms him in the cold._

_She brings him comfort in the darkness. She is home to him. She is safety._

_She isn’t there. He knows this but he holds onto her. He doesn’t want to let go of the dream not yet._

_But it is not real. Her warmth and her softness is only a memory. He cannot feel her mind the way he should. He is alone._

Wolfgang shuddered awake and for one glorious moment, he didn’t know where he was. Then it came back to him. He was still in that room, cuffed to that fucking trolley. By instinct, he reached for Kala, then stopped himself. He didn’t want her here, not with him like this. He didn’t want this lunatic reaching any part of her.

Not that he thought he could have reached her anyway. He was on blockers of some sort. Perhaps the IV. He looked around the room. It was a cold, bare room, with no carpet and with bare walls. There were two doors, a heavy metal one which that fucking lunatic had come in through, and an ordinary wooden door. He wondered where the other door led. If he could get free of these cuffs, he could look. Maybe it was a way out.

He looked down at the cuffs. They were tight and he couldn’t move his arms more than an inch. He couldn’t get to the locks to pick them. He tugged hard but the cuffs were strong.

He growled with frustration, yanking again at the cuffs although he knew it was useless. Fuck, he needed a piss. How long was he going to be trussed up like this? At least that fucking song had stopped. He wondered when. It must have been while he was asleep. He didn’t remember going to sleep but who knows what had been in that IV. It had probably knocked him out. Kala could probably make an educated guess.

_No, don’t think about her. Don’t think about any of them._

The lights went off and the bare room was plunged into darkness. Then he heard the click of the door opening.

He tensed, waiting for whatever was going to happen to him now. His kidnapper moved almost silently across the room toward him. Wolfgang flinched as he felt his hand on him. His head was turned roughly and the next moment there was the sharp pain of an injection in the back of his neck. He could feel pressure there, like something had been inserted. 

Then his kidnapper stepped away.

‘What are you doing to me, you fucking psycho?’

‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

Wolfgang groaned. If he heard that _fucking_ phrase again … ‘Will you fucking talk norm…’

The pain shot through him so suddenly he couldn’t even shout out. It invaded every part of his body and took his breath away. He realised his cuffs were being undone but his body was so seized up with the pain he couldn’t do anything about it.

He heard the door shut and the pain stopped. The lights came back on. He was alone again.

He scrambled off the trolley and staggered to the heavy metal door. He yanked on it but it didn’t budge. He went to the other door and it opened. It led to a small room with a toilet and a sink.

At least that was something. He had a piss, then started to look around. There was nothing else in the bathroom, so he went back to the other room. There was nothing else in there, except the bed, the IV trolley and the sort of table on wheels you got in a hospital. On it was a tray of food.

He glared at it. This fucking guy thought he could keep him locked up like a fucking animal. Anger welled up inside him and he grabbed the tray and chucked it hard against the wall. It smashed with a satisfying crash against the wall.

He flopped down on the floor with a huff and tried not to think about what Will would say if he could see him. _Keep calm, keep yourself safe, we’re coming for you_.

He didn’t want them to come for him. He wanted them all to stay safe and he knew already that this place wasn’t safe. Why didn’t the fucking lunatic just kill him and get it over with? Kala would be all right. Rajan would look after her. And the cluster would look after them both. They would stay safe, no matter what happened to him. It didn’t matter what happened to him, as long as they were all right.

The lights flickered and he looked up, suddenly aware he was being watched. He could feel it as plainly as if the nutter was in the room staring at him. He could feel the presence of him, almost like it was one of his cluster visiting him.

_I see you_

He looked around but he could see no one. He knew he recognised the voice but he didn’t want to think about it.

_You can’t escape me_

He blinked, shaking his head. He didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to remember.

_Little queer. I thought you were a man, like me_

Wolfgang pressed his hands against his ears. He didn’t want to fucking hear this. He was strong. He wasn’t weak anymore. He was fucking strong. This lunatic wasn’t going to break him, no matter what he did to him.

The speakers crackled again. ‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

Wolfgang groaned, surging up onto his feet. ‘For fuck’s sake, is that all you’ve got? Some fucking words, a few songs. What else have you got? Come on, you fucking chickenshit, I can take it, you crazy cunt. Do your fucking worst.’

‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

Wolfgang grabbed the IV trolley and stabbed at the speakers as hard as he could, smashing the fucking things to bits. He fucking refused to be driven mad in this fucking room.


	13. Chapter 13

Although it was only a little over two hours, the flight from Reykjavik to Paris felt like the longest of Will’s life. He was desperate to get to Kala and start doing something to help Wolfgang. Riley held his hand tightly and he could feel her concern as strongly as his own.

She kept visiting Kala, trying to reassure her or, just being with her. He could feel the others with Kala as well and each of them kept reaching uselessly for Wolfgang. Will kept trying to reach him too. A couple of times he thought he felt a flicker of anger but a wall seemed to go up immediately. It reminded Will of when Wolfgang had shut them out last year, except … this was more efficient.

Wolfgang had never been very good at blocking them out, despite his best efforts. His emotional bond with them was too strong. He’d had to take blockers just to do it at all.

But this was stronger. Maybe whoever had got him was keeping him on blockers.

Will closed his eyes and focused hard. He knew he was one of the strongest of the cluster psychically. He’d made connections even before his Sensate birth. If any of them could get through to Wolfgang, it was him. Normally, he’d say Kala would have the best change but if Wolfgang was resisting, he’d resist Kala, out of a sense of protectiveness.

_Vos … con …in_

Will blinked and opened his eyes. The words hadn’t been in a voice he knew. It was a strange voice, a blank unemotional one. Who was it? Whoever it was, he didn’t like the voice. He shuddered and felt a creeping sense of fear he wasn’t sure was his alone.

‘Will? What is it?’

He shook his head. ‘I’m not sure. I felt something.’

‘Are you still trying to reach him?’

He nodded. ‘I keep thinking I feel something from him. Anger … fear. I don’t like it.’

‘I thought I heard a whisper,’ she said, looking at him.

He glanced at her, then away, at the back of the seat in front of him. ‘I don’t know the words. They may not even be the full words. In fact I’m sure they’re not full words.’

‘What did you hear?’

‘Vos con in.’

She frowned. ‘It could be anything. Did the voice sound French?’

He shook his head. ‘No. It sounded more English I think. I’ll keep listening. I might get more words.’

She gripped his hand. ‘Be careful. Whatever this is … we don’t want to lose you to it as well. We need you.’

He looked at her and smiled gently, then put his arm around her and held her close. ‘I’ll be careful. I promise.’ He knew how much they all needed him. He felt the weigh of their expectations on him but it wasn’t a burden. Or if it was, it was one he didn’t mind. It was where he was meant to be in life.

They managed to get out of the airport quickly and the taxi queue was blessedly short. They reached the flat only an hour after they had landed. Will rang the doorbell and Kala answered almost immediately. She met his eyes, then crumbled into him. He caught her in a fierce hug and she clung onto him.

He rubbed her back. ‘It’ll be all right. We’ll find him, I promise.’

Rajan stepped up behind her. He was paler than usual, his eyes were red-rimmed and his mouth was set in a hard line. Will nodded at him and Rajan put his arm around Kala and gently pulled her away.

Will and Riley stepped into the flat and shut the door behind them. Felix was looking helpless.

‘I was thinking they should eat but my cooking extends to sticking a pizza in the oven.’

Will smiled and put his bag down as Riley hugged Kala and Rajan. ‘I’ll make something.’

Kala sat down, hugging herself. ‘I don’t think I could eat anything. It’s been hours. Where is he, Will?’

Will sighed and sat down next to her. He laid a gentle hand on her knee. ‘We’ll find him.’

‘You keep saying that but we’re no closer. I haven’t felt _anything_ from him. He … he could be dead, Will.’

‘He’s not dead.’ He glanced at Riley, who nodded. ‘I’ve felt him, very briefly. I think he must be on blockers, strong ones.’

Kala and Rajan exchanged hopeful glances. ‘What have you felt from him?’ she asked.

Will hesitated. ‘A few flashes of anger and … a little fear. But he’s still with us. He’s still fighting.’

Kala grasped his hand and held it tightly. ‘What do we do now, Will?’

‘What did River say?’

‘She’s looking at the CCTV and … she still has Whispers’ machine. We could track Wolfgang with it. If I let her use it on me …’

‘No,’ said Will, firmly. ‘If anyone is going to use that machine, it’ll be me. I won’t let anyone else go through that.’

‘Will…’

‘I’m not arguing about it. If we get to that point, I’ll be the one hooked up to it. No one else.’

Riley and Kala exchanged glances. The rest of the cluster appeared, all looking fondly at Will. Yeah, he knew he had a saviour complex but he didn’t care. He would do anything to protect his cluster, anything at all. He would die for them if necessary. As long as they were safe, that was all that mattered. Now, they just had to make Wolfgang safe again.

He stood up. ‘Right, you all need to eat. We need to keep our strength up, and then we’ll see if we can make contact with Wolfgang together while we wait for River to look at the CCTV.’

Business-like, he walked over to the kitchen and started to look through the fridge to see what he could make. He was determined to keep them safe and to make everything okay again. They would find Wolfgang. They had to.


	14. Chapter 14

_Dacian_

He pressed his hands over his ears. He didn’t want to hear this anymore. He didn’t want to hear that soft voice in the back of his mind, telling him what to do. He didn’t want to do this anymore.

_Do you want to be weak? Or do you want to be strong, like him?_

‘I don’t understand this. How can I take his strength?’

_Use the machine._

‘But…’

_It is time. Take what you need from him. Take what we need._

He reached for the machine. He didn’t want to do this, but that soft insistent voice was impossible to ignore.

Wolfgang was sitting on the bed, trying to work out if there was a way out of here. But there were no windows and no lock on the door to pick. It seemed his only chance was to fight his way out.

How the fuck could he do that when this lunatic inflicted that body-seizing pain on him? He couldn’t even stand, let alone fight.

He thought of the cluster. If they knew where he was, they could probably get him out. But he didn’t want to involve them in this. They were better off well away from that lunatic, whatever he wanted. They had to stay safe.

He felt that presence again and he stiffened in anticipation. But there was no bracing himself for that numbing pain. He fell back onto the bed, a warm trickle of blood coming from his nose. He was aware of the door opening even as his body clenched helplessly under that pain.

Then it stopped and he realised the cuffs were back, excruciatingly tight around his wrists. He yanked uselessly at them, glaring at the masked man now standing by his bed.

‘Why don’t you just fucking kill me and get it over with?’

‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

‘Yeah, I know. I’ve heard it before. Get the fuck on with it.’

‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

He rolled his eyes. He was getting so fucking sick of those words. What did they mean anyway?

He watched the man. He didn’t seem to have noticed the mess of the broken speakers on the floor, or the food spilled up the wall. Wolfgang was beginning to regret throwing the food. He was starting to get hungry. He thought of Rajan’s cooking and his heart throbbed painfully. Fuck he missed Rajan so much. But it was a small comfort to know that Rajan would look after Kala if he didn’t come home. She’d be happy again in time. It would hurt and he hated to hurt her but he knew she would be okay in time. He wasn’t that important.

He realised his kidnapper was bringing something out of his bag. Wolfgang looked at it and started as he realised he recognised it, or it was _like_ something he’d seen before. It was like the thing Whispers had put on him to trace the cluster.

_No, no, I will not let that happen._

But, a rational part of his brain reminded him, he was on blockers, wasn’t he? How could this nutter trace his cluster if he was on blockers? Surely it was impossible.

Unless they’d worn off. He felt cautiously for Will. Will could handle himself if anything were to happen. His mind searched him out but there was no answering response. He was alone. Good. The cluster would not be in danger.

So what the fuck was this guy doing?

His kidnapper reached out for him and placed the device on his head. His scalp tingled beneath the strange cap of metal and wires. He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to think about this.

He wanted to be at home, with Kala and Rajan. He wanted to be sharing a meal with them, then falling asleep on the sofa in a snuggly heap before dragging themselves to bed in the early hours. He wanted to wake with his lovers wrapped around him and make slow, gentle love with the morning light streaming in through the windows. He wanted to lie with Kala, caressing her smooth skin and watching the love in her eyes, while Rajan made them breakfast. He wanted to shower with Rajan, trimming his beard for him then tease him about his colourful shirt choices. He wanted to kiss them goodbye before they all left for work, secure in the knowledge that they would be home soon after him so they could do the whole thing all over again.

He wanted them so much he could hardly breathe and he didn’t know how much longer he could take this before he gave up on ever seeing them again.

He frowned as he realised that his kidnapper had put a similar device on his own head. The two were connected by a long wire. He felt that gaze on him and he realised they were connected in their minds. Why could he feel this fucker’s mind and not his own cluster?

There was music in his head.

_And I wonder why I tear myself down_

_To be built back up again_

He groaned. _Fuck, not that again._

He realised with a jolt that he was being torn down again. Would be get the chance to build himself up again?

He felt pressure in his mind and then, as real as if he was actually standing there, he could see his uncle.

_A boy belongs with his father._

Wolfgang wanted to put his hands over his ears but he couldn’t because of the cuffs. And besides, what good would it do when he knew full well the voice was coming from inside his mind. Was it just his memory? Or was there more going on here?

 _I can’t go back_.

He heard his own words in his head, a boy’s voice, hurt and desperate. He remembered the pain in his heart and in his body when he’d gone to his uncle for help in his lowest moment. He’d expected help.

His auntie was crying, tears gleaming on her cheeks.

 _And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

She knew better than to demand. She knew she couldn’t do what she wanted, no more than his mother had been able to do what she wanted. No, she begged, begged for Wolfgang.

_Please, Sergei, look at him. He’s just a boy. He’s hurt. He’s bleeding._

His uncle’s voice was low, dangerous and expecting nothing less than total obedience. _Clean him up, then send him home. A boy belongs with his father._

The pain of hopelessness pulsed through Wolfgang and he couldn’t breathe. The memories consumed him and he could only give himself up to them.

_And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

Pressure burned in his mind and he knew he was helpless and alone, nothing but a weak little boy.


	15. Chapter 15

Nothing. There was nothing. They’d tried all day, sitting together in Rajan and Kala’s living room, trying to visit Wolfgang. But there was absolutely nothing of him, nothing at all. Quite late at night, or rather early in the morning, Will had managed to get everyone to go to bed. He knew they probably wouldn’t sleep much but it was worth trying at least. They had to try to look after themselves, so they’d be fit when they found Wolfgang.

Now, he was lying in bed, with Riley next to him, still thinking about Wolfgang. He thought Riley might have dozed off. She was very quiet anyway and she was snuggled up to him.

In the quiet blackness of the bedroom, he focused, looking into the darkness and feeling for Wolfgang.

_And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

The words came to him in snatches, like he was streaming the song and the signal kept going. He felt fear, a stab of it to his belly that he wasn’t quite sure was his own. He heard ragged breathing and he opened his eyes.

He was somewhere else, in a bare room with a hospital bed in the middle. Lying on the bed was Wolfgang. Will was by his side in a second. He was dressed only in his boxer shorts and there was a canula in his arm, though nothing was attached to it. He was staring up at the ceiling murmuring to himself.

_And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

He didn’t seem to be aware of Will and there was a glassy look to his gaze. Will reached out and touched his arm gently.

Wolfgang’s gaze snapped to him and his eyes widened. Then he squeezed them shut. ‘No, no, no, you’re not here. You’re not real. You’re safe at home.’

Will found his hand and gripped it tightly. ‘I’m here, Wolfgang.’

Wolfgang sat bolt upright and stared at him. ‘You’re really here.’

Will smiled gently. ‘I’m really here.’

Wolfgang reached out and pulled him into a hug. He held onto him so tightly, like he was afraid he might slip away. Will put his arms around him and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

‘It’s all right, I’m here.’

Wolfgang pulled back to look at him. Will looked into his eyes and felt a pang of worry at what he saw. There was a haunted, clouded look in those blue eyes and he was pale and unfocused. There was blood on his face.

‘What’s been happening, Wolfie?’ he asked, gently.

Wolfgang took a ragged breath. ‘I’m going mad. He … he’s trying to drive me mad.’

‘Who, Wolfgang? Who took you?’

‘I don’t know. He wears a mask.’ He focused suddenly on Will. ‘He’s got this machine, like Whispers had. It …it …’ He went even paler and his gaze wandered again. ‘It makes me relive memories and he’s listening in and I don’t know why but I feel weak afterwards.’ He clutched at Will and seemed to be having difficulty articulating himself. ‘You have to stop him, Will. There’s something really bad happening.’

Will rubbed his arms gently. ‘It’ll be all right. We’ll get you out of here.’

He shook his head urgently. ‘Don’t worry about me, Will, just stop him.’

‘We’re going to do both, Wolfie. We’ll get you out of here and all this will stop.’

_And I wonder why I tear myself down_ _  
To be built back up again_

Wolfgang closed his eyes as the words reverberated across both their minds. ‘It’s constant … it won’t …’ He shook his head. ‘How are Rajan and Kala?’

‘They’re okay. Worried about you but …’

‘Look after them. Tell them I love them. If I don’t get back…’

‘We’re getting you back, Wolfgang. We won’t give up on you.’

Wolfgang sagged and pressed his face into Will’s shoulder. Will turned his head and kissed his ear. ‘It’ll be okay. Keep resisting him but keep open to us if you can. It’ll be okay.’

_Vos confidere in mendacio_

Wolfgang suddenly pulled back, pushing hard at Will. ‘You have to go. He’s coming. Go now.’ He followed the physical push with a mental one and, with a start, Will found himself back in his bed next to Riley.

She was sitting up, looking at him with concern. ‘What is it?’

‘I visited Wolfgang.’

Her eyes widened. ‘Is he all right? Where is he?’

‘He’s … alive.’ He looked at her. ‘He’s not doing good, Riles. He says the guy who’s got him is trying to drive him mad.’ He frowned. ‘Riley, he says he’s got a machine, like Whispers’. The traceworks, I think he means, or something like it.’

‘Then this has got something to do with Whispers?’

‘It must be but I don’t see how. He’s dead. We killed him. Not even he can come back after that, right?’

Riley shook her head slowly. ‘I don’t know. He was trying to live forever. We don’t know how successful he was.’ She chewed on her lip. ‘Maybe we should tell the lacuna about this.’

Will shook his head. ‘River will have the CCTV tomorrow and then we’ll be able to find him. If we have to use the trace ourselves, we will.’

‘Will, the lacuna might be able to help us.’

‘No. Our priority is to rescue Wolfgang. I won’t let anything get in the way of that.’

She sighed. ‘You’re as stubborn as he is sometimes. But I understand.’ She hesitated. ‘Is he really all right?’ At the look he gave her, she sighed. ‘What is it? You said this guy was driving him mad?’

‘He looks like shit, Riles. This guy, he’s making him relive memories, he’s playing that song over and over again, like he’s trying to break him down.’

‘Wolfgang is strong. He’s a survivor. He’s been through so much and he can get through this too.’

‘I hope you’re right, Riles. I heard those words properly, the ones I heard when we were on the plane. He’s hearing them over and over as well.’

‘What are they?’

‘Vos confidere in mendacio. Do you know what they mean?’

She shook her head. ‘No. But we should be able to find out. It might give us some sort of clue.’

He nodded. ‘In the morning, I’m sure we’ll make some headway.’

She reached out for him, pulling him close to her. They lay down together and she wrapped her arms around him. He closed his eyes, letting her presence soothe him to sleep. He needed to be strong, for Wolfgang.


	16. Chapter 16

When Will left, Wolfgang felt bereft. He was anchorless, alone without support. _Resist_ , Will had said. Well, if that was all he could do, that would be what he would do. He would resist. He would find his strength.

But he didn’t know how he could resist that pain.

_Vos confidere in mendacio_

He was coming back. He could feel him. The pain would soon start. He focused, letting his mind go blank. The cluster flitted through his mind but he pushed them away. He needed to be alone in this. He needed to keep them safe and hidden. He needed to face this pain alone.

He felt a tingle at the back of his neck and the next moment, the pain was everywhere. It took his breath away and seized his body. He focused, fighting against the pain that invaded every inch of him.

He found he could turn his head and he saw the door opening. If only he could move his body. He saw that the door was left ajar as his tormentor entered the room. If only he could get up.

But the pain was too invasive. He fought against it but the pain forced its way into every inch of his body and he was helpless.

Then the cuffs were on him again. He yanked at them as the pain stopped, growling in frustration. Fuck, if he got out of here, he would kill this fucking guy.

‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes. ‘This is getting annoying now. What do you fucking want from me?’

Behind the mask, he could feel the man looking at him. He could feel his mind. It was a confused mind, different intentions drifting across it and mixing. What did he want? To Wolfgang, it felt like even his tormentor didn’t know what he wanted. There was fear in him, but also anger and a desperate need.

_What did he want?_

He felt a flicker in his abductor’s mind at his thought and it caught him unaware. What would Will do?

‘We can help you,’ he found himself saying. Was that Will, through him? Or Kala or Capheus? They were capable of so much more empathy than him. ‘If you have a problem, we can fix it. But you have to let me go. I won’t hurt you. We can help.’

_He knows you’re lying_

A creeping feeling went through Wolfgang and he stared in horror as his eyes met the cold blue gaze of the owner of that voice. It was a gaze he knew, a gaze he feared, a gaze that had hunted him. Was it still hunting him?

Whispers leant over him and smiled. _You’re going to die here, Wolfgang but first, you’re going to be mine._

‘No!’ he grunted. ‘Fuck you. You’re fucking dead. Get the fuck out of my head.’

A cold laugh drifted across him. _You can’t escape me, Wolfgang. I have hunted you and now you’re mine. You won’t ever be free, not even when you’re dead._

The masked man was still watching him, looking detached and calm. His body was still and he just watched Wolfgang, silently.

But Wolfgang could feel his mind. There was fear, and pain there. There was weakness and a desire for strength. Realisation hit him like a punch to the stomach. He wanted _his_ strength. Well, he wasn’t going to get it.

That cold laugh reverberated through the air, turning Wolfgang’s stomach. _Oh, he is,_ whispers that evil voice. _He’s already taking it. Look at you. Helpless and weak, just like when you were a little boy. Aww, so helpless, can’t protect your mother, can’t even stop daddy from fucking you._

‘Shut up! You fucking schlappschwanz. Verfickte arschoch, fucking face me man to man if you think you’re so fucking strong. You fucking cunt. Fotze.’

Whispers turned his head to the masked man. _Take him, Dacian. Now is the time._

The metal cap was back on his head and Wolfgang was once again plunged into his memories. They assaulted him, rocketing him back into his past like it was happening all over again.

‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

‘Wolfgang!’

Rajan was woken from a fretful sleep by Kala’s scream. He was alert in a second. She was sitting straight up in bed beside him. Her breathing came hard and she was trembling.

He put his hand on the small of her back and rubbed gently.

‘What is it?’

‘I can feel him,’ she gasped. ‘he’s in pain.’

Rajan winced. He hated the thought of either of his loves being in pain. ‘Can you talk to him?’

She shook her head. ‘I can’t get through. I can feel him but he’s just out of reach.’

‘Well at least he’s all right.’

‘He’s not! He’s in pain. Oh god, he feels so hopeless.’

Rajan slid his arms around her and held her close. ‘We’ll find him. Just tell him to hang on.’

She shook her head again. ‘His thoughts are so confused I can’t get anything through.’ She glanced at the clock. ‘Is it too early to wake Will?’ Her gaze drifted towards the wardrobe. ‘Oh, he’s already up.’

She scrambled out of bed, pulled on her dressing gown and left the room without another word. Rajan pulled his own dressing gown on and followed her downstairs.

He found her in the lounge. Will and Riley were there, their arms around her.

‘I felt him during the night too,’ Will was saying. ‘I managed to visit him. He’s in a room, looks like a cellar somewhere. The door is reinforced and the only thing in the room is a hospital bed.’

‘Does he have any idea where he is?’ Rajan asked.

Will shook his head. ‘He’s … he’s not quite with it. This guy who’s got him is trying to drive him mad. He doesn’t know why. He’s making him relive memories and he says he feels weak afterwards. I don’t know what’s going on but he says it’s something bad, and I think it’s something to do with Whispers.’

‘Whispers?’ asked Kala. ‘But he’s dead.’

‘This man has a machine like he had, like the traceworks.’

‘We have to ask the lacuna. They might be able to help,’ said Kala.

‘That’s what I said,’ said Riley.

‘River will be in touch today, I’m sure of it. Then we might be able to trace him ourselves,’ said Will. He glanced at Riley. ‘We need to find out what those words mean.’

Kala started. ‘Which words?’

‘What was it, Riles? Vos confidere…’

‘Vos confidere in mendacio,’ said Riley.

Kala frowned. ‘I heard those words in my dream.’

‘This guy keep saying them to Wolfgang, like he’s trying to drive him mad.’ He looked at Riley, who was digging her phone out of her pocket. She tapped for a moment, then her eyebrows quirked.

‘Riles?’ he asked.

She looked up. ‘It’s Latin, according to Google. Means something like ‘you believe the lie’ or ‘your confidence is false’. What does this guy mean by that?’

‘Maybe he doesn’t even know,’ said Rajan. He glanced around at them all, his gaze finally landing on Kala, with a frown. ‘He sounds unhinged… dangerous.’

Kala looked pained. ‘And Wolfgang’s at his mercy.’


	17. Chapter 17

_‘Kala, Kala,’ her name floated in his mind, her touch soft on his skin. He could feel her warmth, her sweet breath on his cheek, the gentle grip of her hand in his._

_‘Where are you?’ she asks him, her voice a breath._

_He shakes his head. ‘I don’t know.’_

_‘We’ll find you,’ she says, her voice firmer now. He admires her strength, her surety and her confidence in the world. She expects it to treat her kindly, expects everything to be all right. It isn’t always._

_He reaches out to her, tracing his fingers across her smooth cheek. ‘Don’t.’_

_‘Wolfgang,’ she whispers. He can feel the warmth of her breath on his face. ‘We will_ not _abandon you.’_

_He pulls away, though it hurts more than he can say to do so. ‘Don’t come here,’ he says, firmly. ‘It’s not safe. Don’t come here. Leave me.’_

_She reaches for him. ‘Wolfgang.’ Her voice is pained and he hates to hear it, but it is better than the alternatives that paint themselves so clearly in his mind._

_‘It’s not safe here,’ he repeats and he pushes her away._

_Her eyes are wet with unfallen tears and she whispers his name with a sob. ‘Wolfgang, please.’_

_‘No.’ He can feel the break in his own voice. ‘Go. Go to Rajan. He’ll look after you. Forget about me.’_

_He pushes her away, feeling her grief pulse through him along with his own. He curls up on the floor, weak and numb with grief, but he knows he has done the right thing. He knows he has protected her, protected them, all of them._

Will felt Wolfgang’s and Kala’s grief like a stab to his stomach. He looked across at Kala and saw the tears in her eyes. He stood and crossed to her. She was curled up on the sofa, as they waited for River to call them. Rajan was mostly keeping himself busy cooking or making pots of tea, whereas Riley was distracting herself with her music on her headphones.

As Will reached Kala, she looked up at him. ‘Oh, Will,’ she sobbed. She didn’t need to say anything more. He sat with her, tugging her gently into his arms and holding her. She turned her face into his chest and started to cry.

He held her close, her tears making his own eyes fill with tears. He could feel her pain and he shared it. The thought of never getting Wolfgang back was too terrible, too painful to even acknowledge.

He saw Riley look up at them, realising what was happening and he shook his head slightly. He had this in hand. He would look after them all, no matter what happened.

Kala pulled away slightly to look at him. ‘I connected with him. I … he told me to leave, to not come there, that it’s too dangerous.’

Will smiled gently. ‘He’s still himself then. You know how stubborn and protective he is.’

She shook her head. ‘It’s more than that.’ She took a shuddering breath. ‘It sounds like he’s giving up. It’s … it’s like when he killed his uncle, when he told me to marry Rajan. He pulled away then and he wouldn’t let me visit. It … it was like he doesn’t think he’s worth saving.’

He found her hand and held it gently. ‘Then we’ll show him that he is.’

‘Like we did before,’ said Nomi.

‘We’ll show him how much we love him,’ said Lito.

Sun looked evenly at her. ‘He is not the type to give up. He will keep fighting.’

Riley sat behind her, her arm sliding around her waist and holding her close. ‘And we’re all here for each other. No matter what, we’ll keep together.’

‘And we will bring him home,’ said Capheus, in his gentle lilting voice. His smile bathed them all in warmth. His positivity gave them all strength.

From the kitchen, Rajan’s phone ringing broke the moment. He put down the kettle and answered it.

Will glanced over hopefully.

‘Hello?’ Rajan said. There was a moment’s silence as he listened. ‘Yes, we’ll be right there.’ He hung up the phone and looked at them. He looked both afraid and hopeful. ‘They’ve got the CCTV footage. They want us to come straight down.’

Will stood up. ‘Then let’s go. The sooner we see that footage, the sooner we’ll be able to find Wolfgang and bring him home.’ He turned back to Kala and gave her a gentle smile. ‘And we _will_ bring him home. I promise.’

She smiled, tearfully. ‘I know. Wolfgang said you’d never give up on any of us. He knows that, somewhere in that stubborn head of his.’

The cluster exchanged fond smiles. Wolfgang was the most stubborn person they all knew and they loved him for it, frustrating as it could be.

As quickly as they could, they set out for the BPO headquarters. Kala’s thoughts were still with Wolfgang but he would not let her in. She could just feel the edge of his mind, feel his thoughts wandering, but every time she tried to get close, he pushed her away, with such a strength of feeling that she couldn’t resist it.

Rajan held her hand. She knew he couldn’t really understand what she was feeling, though she knew how much he missed Wolfgang too. She knew how desperately worried he was about him, and about her. But he didn’t know the pain of feeling Wolfgang’s rejection. He didn’t know how much it hurt to feel Wolfgang’s dejection, to feel him slowly giving up.

She knew Sun was right. He was a fighter, a survivor. But how long could he fight this? How long could he survive under the emotional torture, the haunting of his mind. She could feel him coming apart. There was so much pain and hurt in his past. How could anyone survive being forced to relive all that?

River was her usual kind and gentle self. She greeted them with a smile that soothed them all a little.

‘Have you heard anything from Wolfgang?’ she asked, as she led them into her office.

Will sighed. ‘We’ve managed to connect once or twice but he doesn’t know where he is, only that he’s in some sort of room. It looks like a cellar.’

‘What is happening to him?’ she asked, her brow creasing with worry as she tapped at her computer.

‘He’s being tortured,’ said Kala, hearing her voice crack. ‘Made to relive painful memories with a machine. We don’t know why.’

River looked startled, then thoughtful. ‘You had better see this,’ she said.

She tapped a few more keys and the screen behind her flickered into life. The image of the street outside Corinne’s building came up. The street was quiet and empty.

No, not empty. As they watched, they saw a man. He wore a mask; all they could see of him was his skinny frame and balding head. He lingered, waiting around the corner from Corinne’s door.

They all held their breath as they watched Wolfgang storm outside, raging silently. He didn’t see the masked man step out behind him and fire the taser.

The cluster shuddered at the memory of that pain. Wolfgang collapsed, falling unconscious onto the pavement. They watched as the masked man dragged him around the corner.

The footage flipped to a different camera and we saw the man heaving Wolfgang into the back of a non-descript white van. Will had the number plate memorised in seconds.

‘We need to trace that number.’

River shook her head. ‘We already have. It belongs to a van hire company.’

‘Damnit, just like Whispers.’

River sighed. ‘That, and what you told me about the machine … I have to admit, this sounds like something The Cannibal would do.’

The cluster exchanged glances. If River thought that, it wasn’t just their own paranoia. Whispers had to have something to do with this.


	18. Chapter 18

Wolfgang lay on the narrow bed, weak and listless. He had no fight left in him. He was alone. His torturer had left him alone again. He hadn’t brought him any more food. At some point, Wolfgang had staggered to the bathroom and drank some water from the tap. He definitely regretted throwing that food up the wall. How long had he been here now? Time seemed to flow together and it could have been weeks or just a couple of days.

He was determined not to reach out to his cluster. But the urge was so strong, it hurt. He wanted to feel Kala’s love and softness; he wanted to feel Sun’s steady strength; he wanted Capheus’s joy and Lito’s passion to buoy him up; he wanted Nomi’s calm logic, her way of seeing right to a solution; he wanted to hear just the right song from Riley, to feel her warmth; he wanted to feel Will’s protectiveness and the strength of his love for them.

His cluster had become his anchor, much as he would never say that to them. He knew they knew how he felt. He needed them. But he daren’t reach out, not now he’d seen Whispers. He had to protect them. He didn’t care what happened to him, as long as they were safe.

A thought pulse in his head and he knew that wasn’t exactly true. He would do anything for his cluster but, he wanted to live. He wanted so much just to live, to get out of here and go back to Kala and Rajan.

He was determined he wasn’t going to die here, haunted by his own past. He had to remember the techniques Corinne had taught him. He had to keep calm, just let the bad memories wash over him.

He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to reach for Will, to feel that steady presence. He wanted to feel that determination that he would get out of there, because alone, he didn’t have that faith. He only had his own hopes.

He felt someone with him. At first he didn’t want to look; he didn’t want it to be one of the cluster, or his masked torturer. But the presence remained there, quiet and watchful, but it didn’t feel dangerous.

He turned his head and felt something relax inside him. Angelica was looking at him. Her gentle blue eyes were sad and, as their gazes met, she murmured softly to him.

‘My poor baby.’

He closed his eyes as he felt her touch on him. Her hand caressed his cheek, then smoothed back his hair.

‘You’re lost,’ she breathed, her voice spreading warmth through him. ‘Reach for them.’

He shook his head, opening his eyes to look into her sad gaze. ‘I can’t. I _won’t_ let him find them. I have to keep them safe.’ His voice was pained, weak, and he could hardly stand the sound of it. He knew she understood this. She had given her life to keep them safe from Whisper.

‘Don’t give up. They’re looking for you.’

He stared urgently at her. ‘Tell them to stop. Tell them to stay safe. It’s _Whispers_. He can’t find them, not after everything.'

‘Be strong, sweetheart. Don’t fight the pain.’

‘I can’t fight anymore,’ he whimpered. He closed his eyes and he felt her soft lips on his cheek and her gentle hand in his hair.

‘I love you, sweetheart. They all love you. They want you to hold on.’

He shook his head and a sob rose in his throat. ‘I can’t,’ he gasped. He swallowed hard. He couldn’t do it. What was the point? He was going to die here.

He felt that dark presence and he stiffened. No more pain. No more memories. He didn’t want any of it. He just wanted to sink into the nothingness of death. He couldn’t fight anymore.

The pain jolted through him like electricity. He didn’t brace himself. He didn’t have the energy. He just lay there and let it rip through his body. 

The door opened. He turned his head and saw his torturer enter the room. His mask was in place and Wolfgang could feel his dark mood.

_It is time_

Wolfgang shuddered as Whispers’ smooth voice crept over him. He hated that voice. Fuck, if he was going to die, it couldn’t be because of Whispers, not that fucking psycho he’d killed already.

‘Hold on,’ Angelica said. ‘Don’t let go.’

He found he could move more than his head. The pain was still there but he thought past it, letting it wash over him. The masked man reached for him, the cuffs in his hand.

Wolfgang surged forward, headbutting him hard. The mask cracked and Wolfgang lunged at him, grabbing hold of him and slamming him to the floor.

They grappled furiously. The man was surprisingly strong, or perhaps Wolfgang was weaker than usual. He couldn’t get the upper hand.

 _This is useless,_ sneered Whispers. _You can’t escape. We’re deep underground and you’re never going to see any of your cluster ever again._

With a surge of anger, Wolfgang grabbed hold of his torturer’s shoulders and bashed him against the floor. The man whimpered and a corner of mask fell off. Wolfgang stopped and stared. Beneath the mask, he could see a straight cut across his forehead.

In shock, he let go. The man pushed him away and scrambled to his feet. With barely a glance at Wolfgang, he ran towards the door and disappeared on the other side of it.

Wolfgang stood, staring. He should have guessed but it hadn’t occurred to him. He thought they were all dead. But no, his kidnapper was a Bolger.

He swallowed. This could have been him.

Numb, he turned and came face to face with Nomi. Her eyes with wet with tears and he could feel the memory of her fear. Beside her was Riley and her fear was mixed with the vagueness and confusion of that time in the hospital in Iceland. They had all been so close to this themselves and Wolfgang knew he still wasn’t safe.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update, everybody. I work in retail so Christmas lead up, it's so difficult to find the time to write! But I have actual time off now so hope to write lots!

Will’s jaw set and his temples pulsed with tension as the word ‘bolger’ echoed in his mind. The cluster was looking at him with fear and an expectation that he would do something. He felt the weight of their faith in him.

Wolfgang was there suddenly and he looked at Will with a hard expression. ‘Keep them away from this, Will. I don’t want them to get hurt. Or you.’

Will returned his look, then turned his attention to River. ‘We need to use the traceworks now.’

He felt the others’ fear of that terrible pain but also their willingness to go through that pain just for the possibility of finding Wolfgang.

River nodded, then turned. ‘Come with me.’

She led them from her office and into a lift down to a lower floor. There were labs here and Will felt Kala’s interest as they passed them.

They entered a side room, which looked like a medical bay. There was a hospital bed and monitoring stations and various medical equipment. There were also the metal caps and wires which they all recognised as forming the traceworks equipment. Will saw the paddles and swallowed, thinking of the pain that was to come. He just hoped the cluster didn’t have to feel it all.

He looked at them and he could feel their fear reverberating across their connection. ‘Try to block out the pain if you can. Let me take it,’ he said.

River frowned. ‘I do not like the idea of causing you pain.’

‘We know,’ said Will. ‘But if its the only way of finding Wolfgang, you need to do it.’

‘Perhaps pain is not the only way,’ she said. ‘Since the death of The Cannibal, we have been talking with many Sensates and we have discovered how intense your shared pleasure, your love, can be. Perhaps that is more intense than the pain.’

‘Oh,’ said Riley, softly. ‘What about music?’

Will looked at her. ‘What do you mean?’

‘The first time we all connected to each other was through music. Perhaps that would work.’

‘It’s worth trying, isn’t it?’ said Kala. ‘We can always try the pain afterwards.’

‘Is Wolfgang alone now?’ asked Rajan.

Will nodded. ‘He fought with his captor. I guess the guy’s licking his wounds now.’

Rajan smiled fondly. ‘After a fight with Wolfgang, he will be.’

Will sighed and crossed to the bed. He lifted himself onto it and lay down. ‘Let’s get this done then.’

River put the metal cap in place. Instead of hooking it up to herself, she attached it to the monitors. ‘Only Yrsa and I have access to this,’ she said. ‘We didn’t want to risk any of you being harmed by it again.’

‘That didn’t stop Wolfgang’s kidnapper getting hold of one, did it?’ snapped Kala.

The others looked at her in surprise, feeling the strength of her anger. They were all there now, in the small room in anticipation of what was to happen. All except Wolfgang.

River lowered her gaze for a moment, then met Kala’s furious gaze. ‘We are so sorry about that. Let me give you my assurances that we will find out exactly how this has happened and we will track down any more of the devices that may exist.’

Kala nodded but didn’t say anything. She crossed her arms over her chest and Will could feel her holding her anger in. Rajan put his arm around her shoulders, rubbing soothingly. Will could feel it didn’t do much for her anger but she appreciated his effort.

‘Right,’ Will said. ‘Music then.’

Riley pulled out her mp3 player and selected something. ‘Strongest if you hear it?’ she asked.

He shrugged. ‘I guess so, since I’m the one hooked up.’

She nodded, pulling out a pair of earbuds instead of her headphones. She passed them over and he put them in.

_Twenty-five years and my life is still_

_Trying to get up that great big hill of hope_

_For a destination_

_I realised quickly where I knew I should_

_That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man_

_For whatever that means_

He smiled at the music he recognised played through the earbuds. It took him right back to that moment when he’d first felt them all, the feelings rippling through them as if they were one person.

He felt Riley first. Her joy in the song was palpable, her connection with it as she remembered turning to it when her life had been nothing but chaos and confusion. He felt her hand in his and he had no idea if it was real or just in their minds. There was no difference.

He felt Sun laugh as she remembered that carefree moment in her shower, so long ago now. The endorphins of her workout had still been flowing through her and her expectation that things couldn’t change that much. She remembered the freeness of dancing in her shower, allowing the water to wash away the sweat, restoring that feeling of cleanliness.

He felt Capheus remember the simple joy of driving his matatu, before he’d been any sort of a leader, back when his only responsibility was to get that bus where it was going. He’d still had worries but he’d been able to forget them as he sang along to that song in his bus.

He felt Lito grin as he remembered that moment, lying in bed with Hernando and Dani, unsure how the hell that had happened. Even without being a Sensate, he’d had a somewhat out of body experience.

Nomi’s feelings were a mixture and he felt the sharp fear in his stomach as she remembered it, the taste of copper in her mouth. But the song had taken her away from her fear for a few moments and, with the benefit of hindsight, she now associated with it the adrenalin of escape and the relief of Neet’s hand on her shoulder.

Kala’s feelings were all warmth and love, the music taking her back to singing with Wolfgang. In that moment, there had been no complications, no worries, nothing to work through. Just him, gazing at her with that soft look in his clear blue eyes. Just him, with that little smile that showed his dimples. Just him, singing with her, not caring how they sounded. Just him, and the first time they almost kissed.

Her feelings took Will straight to Wolfgang. He was crouched on the floor, his hands covering his head. But when he heard the music, he looked up. His eyes met Will’s and he could feel a burst of emotion from the German. Will reached for him, grasping his hand and bringing him close.

‘It’s all right,’ he murmured against his cheek. ‘We’re going to find you.’

Wolfgang was trembling and Will could feel his urgent need, just to be with them all again. Then Kala was there with them and Will turned Wolfie into her warmth. Her arms went around him, her palms pressing firmly to his bare back as she took him into her embrace.

‘We love you,’ she whispered.

‘We’re coming for you,’ said Will.

Wolfgang had no more protestations and every single member of the cluster felt the relief that flowed through him.

Will grasped his shoulder, knowing he could feel his conviction. ‘We’re all coming for you.’


	20. Chapter 20

Will felt River’s hands on him gently removing the metal cap. He looked up into her kind face. ‘Did it work?’

She smiled. ‘It did. We have a rough location.’

He scrambled up. ‘Then let’s go.’

‘Wait, Will. I do not think it is appropriate for the team that rescues Wolfgang to be Sensates.’

‘What do you mean?’ demanded Will, Riley and Kala all at once.

River smiled in a placating way. ‘If this man is after Sensates, it doesn’t make sense to put any of you in danger to rescue him. But don’t worry, we have a qualified team. They will get him out.’

Will shook his head. ‘I don’t like the idea of strangers bursting their way in there. Wolfgang needs a friendly face after all he’s been through.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’ll go. I’m prepared to take the risk for Wolfgang.’

River stood a little straighter. ‘I’m afraid I cannot allow it. No Sensate will be put in danger by BPO ever again.’

Will opened his mouth to argue but Rajan stepped forward and put his hand on his arm. ‘I’ll go.’

Will turned to look at him. His instinct was to argue. He was used to being the one to put himself in danger. He would gladly risk his life for any of them. He was that person. 

His face was serious and certain. ‘You’re right. He needs a friendly face. Let me be that. I love him. Let me bring him home.’

Kala slipped her hand through Rajan’s and her eyes were wet with tears. Will looked into his eyes and found he couldn’t argue with him. Rajan had as much right to be there to bring Wolfgang home as any of them. He loved him.

Will nodded. ‘All right. He’s going to need some clothes.’

Felix, who had merely watched them in silence for a while, stepped forward. ‘I’m going too. He’s my brother. I’m not going to leave him to rot in that hellhole.’ He looked at River. ‘Besides, I can shoot.’ 

When the song stopped and the cluster left him, the ache of loneliness in Wolfgang’s chest made him cry out. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He wanted to be at home, in bed with Rajan and Kala, with his cluster happy and close by.

But they were coming for him. Will had promised and Will kept his promises. Everything would be okay.

Then the pain started. He hadn’t felt that presence, hadn’t expected the pain. It floored him, worse than before and he couldn’t catch his breath. He curled up, able to do nothing but clench and groan with the pain.

He saw his kidnapper enter the room and, with a flash of memory, he remembered his name. Dacian. He remembered Whispers using his name. Where was Whispers? Wolfgang couldn’t see him, couldn’t feel him.

The pain eased a little and Wolfgang looked up and saw that Dacian wasn’t wearing his mask. Wolfgang looked into his face. He was older than him, maybe late forties and he had thin brown hair and hazel eyes. There was more life in those eyes than he would have expected for a bolger. But that scar … he had to be.

Why was he letting him see his face now? Was Whispers behind this? Did he want to send him a message with this? Was this Whispers’ sick way of telling him he wasn’t going to survive much longer?

Dacian just watched him. The pain dulled and the thought occurred to Wolfgang that he could attack. But the door was shut. He had nowhere to go. Besides, he had no more energy left to fight.

‘Vos confidere in mendacio,’ Dacian said, in a tone without inflection.

Wolfgang groaned. ‘Yes, I know the routine. What lie am I supposed to be believing here? Because if you’re just pretending to be a psycho, you’ve got me completely fucking convinced.’

Dacian took a step towards him. ‘Your confidence is false.’

Wolfgang’s breath caught in his throat and suddenly he was a teenager again, starting brawls at school, fighting with Steiner, lashing out before anyone could hurt him. He’d been a cocky little shit and he still was, but he’d always been aware of the pain it covered.

Dacian looked evenly at him and it was like he could see right inside him.

_And I wonder why I tear myself down_

_To be built back up again_

_Oh I hope someday I’ll wake up young again_

_All that’s left of myself_

_Holes in my false confidence_

_And now I lay myself down_

_And hope I wake_

Wolfgang covered his ears with his hands. ‘Shut up! Shut the fuck up.’

The music wasn’t real; it was in his head. But it wouldn’t fucking stop.

He saw his uncle, sadly shaking his head at him. _‘I love you, Wolfgang, but don’t make me chose between you and my son.’_

He had chosen his son, over and over, no matter what Steiner had done to Wolfgang.

_‘You fucking little bitch, is this what you want?’_ demanded his father’s voice in his mind, in his memory.

For so long, Wolfgang had been nothing but anger covering his fear and self-loathing; fucking and drinking covering loneliness and emptiness. He didn’t want to go back to that. He didn’t want to die here, a broken man.

He wanted to go home. ‘I want to go home.’ He hadn’t meant to speak but the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Suddenly, Dacian was beside him as well as across the room and Wolfgang realised that was his psychic self. So, they _were_ connected. How would he ever be free of him?

‘Hold on,’ said Will. ‘We’re coming.’

Wolfgang pressed his face into the floor. He didn’t want to see him, in case he wasn’t real. Here, anything could be just an image in his mind, planted there by his enemies. He didn’t want Will to be fake. He wanted them to come.

‘Vos confidere in mendacio.’

Wolfgang surged up, anger filling him. He felt a spark of pleasure as Dacian flinched away from him. ‘I _fucking know_ ,’ he growled. ‘I fucking know I’m nothing, you cock-less fuck. You don’t need to tell me anymore. I fucking know, all right?’

Dacian gave him that empty, even look again. But then he frowned, confused and Wolfgang was startled to see a flicker in his eyes, again evidence of more than blankness in his mind. ‘He says you’re strong. He says we need that strength.’

Wolfgang turned away, curling up in a foetal position. ‘I don’t have strength anymore.’


	21. Chapter 21

Rajan’s stomach twisted with nerves. He sat in a black van, surrounded by BPO operatives with semi-automatic rifles. He had no weapon. He was clutching a bag of clothes they’d got together for Wolfgang. Felix sat beside him, holding a handgun. Rajan had been told to stick with him, behind the operatives until they got safely to Wolfgang.

Felix looked at him. ‘Freaky being with these guys instead of fighting against them, isn’t it?’

Rajan nodded. ‘It is. Do you think he’ll be all right?’

Felix looked straight ahead. ‘He’ll be fine. He’s Conan.’

Rajan swallowed. ‘He’s strong but … everybody has a limit. And we don’t know what he’s been through.’

Felix shrugged. ‘I’ve seen him go through all sorts of shit and he’s always survived. He’ll be okay. He always is.’

‘I hope you’re right but …’ He sighed. ‘He covers up so much pain, more than I can even imagine feeling. I don’t know how much more he can take.’ He held the bag tighter. ‘I just want to be with him now.’

Felix patted his arm. ‘We’ll be with him soon.’ He gripped his gun. ‘No one’s keeping me from my brother.’

Rajan understood the strength of feeling behind the words. He shared them. No one was going to keep either of them from Wolfgang. Rajan would rather die than let anything happen to him. He knew Felix felt the same. Together, they were going to bring him home.

Will paced. He hated this. He hated just waiting for someone else to do what needed to be done. He hated letting other people go into danger. It should be him. It should be him risking his life for Wolfgang. Wolfgang was part of Will’s cluster and it should be him.

The others were with him as they waited. Riley reached out and took his hand. She tugged him gently down into the seats in the waiting room. She held his hand and he was grateful for her strength, her steadiness for him. They would always support each other, always be there for each other no matter what. But not even love as true as theirs could make everything better. This time, they had to rely on others for that.

Kala was crying silent tears as she sat a few seats down from them. Sun had her arm around her and was speaking softly to her but Kala didn’t respond. He knew she only wanted Wolfgang. Her husband and her lover were both in danger now and none of them knew if she’d ever see them again. Lito was pacing, muttering to himself and running his hands through his hair. He was never one to keep his feelings to himself. His worry radiated itself out to them all.

Nomi was near Kala too, holding her hand but not saying anything. Will knew she too hated to be helpless. She was used to being in control, to being the one with the answers at her fingertips. Now, there was nothing she could do. Capheus sat in between Nomi and Will. His emotions were clear on his face, as always. He wanted to say something comforting to Kala but there were no words to be said that would be of any help. 

Will tried to reach for Wolfgang but, beyond a faint echo, there was nothing. He knew Kala was trying too, but getting nothing. What was happening? Why couldn’t they reach him? Was it already too late?

Wolfgang had been lying still, curled up, for some time. Dacian was still there, sitting on the floor, but he hadn’t said anything for a while. There was no music in his head, no voices. The silence hung in the room.

His mind felt empty, like there was nothing left of him. He could feel Will trying to get through but he didn’t have the energy to respond or to let the connection happen. He hated feeling so weak and he hated not knowing what was going to happen. But he wouldn’t give Dacian, or Whispers if there was a difference, the satisfaction of asking.

He heard movement behind him and he sat up, shuffling against the wall. He may be weak, but he was not going to let himself be taken.

 _‘Why not?’_ asked his father. _‘Isn’t that what you want, you little queer? You’re not a man. You’re a fucking little queer.’_

Wolfgang put his hands over his ears. ‘Shut up. Shut the fuck up.’

 _You’re giving me your strength, Wolfgang,_ murmured Whispers. _I’m taking it all from you._

‘You can’t have it,’ he spat.

Whispers chuckled darkly. _Look at yourself. You’re cowering in a cellar, not even able to reach out for your cluster. You’re weak and helpless._

‘You might have destroyed me but you’ll never take them. They’ll destroy you.’

_I don’t need them. I have all your strength and soon, I’ll have all the strength I’ll need._

Wolfgang shook his head. He didn’t understand this. Why did Whispers want his strength? Whispers was dead. How did any of this help him?

He glanced across at Dacian, who was watching him silently. His eyes were dull but there was something sad about them, something helpless.

But he wasn’t helpless; he was dangerous. Whispers was in his mind. He couldn’t be trusted.

 _He’s just a tool,_ said Whispers. _A piece of equipment. You kill him, I can find someone else._

‘What do you want with me, you fucking psycho?’

He meant the question for Whispers but Dacian stood. He stepped forwards him, his eyes fixed on Wolfgang. ‘It’s too late,’ he said, his voice blank.

‘What do you mean?’ asked Wolfgang.

‘He has my body and your strength and anger. He has fed on your fear, on your pain and now he is stronger than ever.’

Wolfgang pushed himself up, swaying on his weak legs even as he supported himself on the wall. He held his head up straight and looked into Dacian’s eyes. ‘It’s not too late. I’ll fight him.’

‘You cannot fight. He is inside you.’ Dacian closed his eyes. ‘Susurrans in tenebris. Revertetur in tenebris.’

Wolfgang felt anger surge inside him. ‘Fucking talk so I can understand you.’

Dacian blinked. ‘He’s coming. He will return from the darkness.’

‘Who will?’ demanded Wolfgang, taking a threatening step towards Dacian.

Dacian was unmoved by Wolfgang’s demeanour. He opened his mouth and spoke one word in answer. ‘Whispers.’


	22. Chapter 22

Wolfgang stared at his captor, unable to believe what he was hearing. ‘He’s not a fucking god. He can’t rise from the fucking ashes. He’s dead. I blew up the motherfucker.’

Dacian looked blankly at him. ‘Sensates never die. We stay in each other’s memories. He … he lives in my mind, in yours. He grows stronger. Soon, he will take over me.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No, no, this doesn’t make sense. Who are you? Why are you really doing this?’

Dacian frowned, looking away like he didn’t know how to answer that.

_Why are you fighting this?_ Whispers’ slick voice asked in his ear. _You don’t need to fight. You know I will win in the end. You can’t escape me._

‘I’ll never stop fighting. I’ve killed you once, I can fucking do it again.’

_I wonder why I tear myself down_

_To be built back up again_

_Oh I hope somehow I wake up young again_

_All that’s left of myself_

_Holes in my false confidence_

_And now I lay myself down_

_And hope I wake up young again_

_Hope I wake up young again_

_Hope I wake up young again_

Wolfgang felt anger surge through him. ‘You don’t get to do this, you bastard. You don’t fucking get to do this.’

Dacian looked at him and all Wolfgang could see in his face was Whispers. All he could see was that cold gaze, searching him, seeking out his weaknesses. Blind with anger and pain, Wolfgang lunged forward, grabbing hold of Dacian by his shoulders and throwing him down. Dacian didn’t even fight back.

Wolfgang punched him hard in the face.

_Wolfgang, this is pointless. You’re already lost and you can’t come back from this._

‘Fuck you, fuck you! I’ve been fucking happy and you can’t take that away from me! Fuck you.’

He felt the hot wetness of blood on his hands and he looked into Dacian’s face. He saw him suddenly as a child, a damaged innocent. He stopped, falling back onto his heels. Dacian’s face was bloody and his eyes looked dazed. Whispers had fallen quiet.

Wolfgang pulled back, trembling. He should kill him. The old him would have killed him, without a second thought. But he wasn’t that person anymore and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Maybe Whispers was right. Maybe he had no more fight left. He heard Dacian breathing raggedly but neither of them said anything.

Wolfgang shuffled back against the wall and hugged his knees, hiding his face as he tried to block out the thoughts and memories still trying to break through to him. 

The van stopped. Rajan stuck with Felix as the operatives stepped outside. He looked around. They were in a quiet part of Paris and they were standing in front of a lonely building. It was dark, the windows and the door boarded up.

Two of the operatives went forward and kicked the door in. They stormed the building and all Rajan could do was follow. His heart was thudding in his chest and he kept behind Felix, whose gun was cocked. The upper and ground floors were empty. Rajan was astounded by how silently and efficiently they did this. He daren’t even speak himself.

In the kitchen, there was a cellar door. Two of the operatives went ahead and Rajan and Felix followed. Wolfgang was down here; they knew it. There was a set of damp stone stairs with a thick door at the bottom. The operatives didn’t need to knock down this door. It was open. They went in first, then someone shouted ‘Clear’ and Rajan went straight in before Felix could even react.

His eyes swept the room. Will had described it and he saw exactly what he expected to see. The hospital bed, the IV trolley and the machine.

And there, crouched on the floor hugging his knees was Wolfgang. He was wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and looked weak. He looked up at Rajan and, although his mouth was set in a firm line, his eyes were full of pain. There was blood on his face.

Rajan strode across the room and reached for him. With a grunt, Wolfgang was up and grasping hold of Rajan in a desperate hug. He was trembling and he held onto Rajan so tightly.

Rajan held him close, rubbing his back and dropping kisses on his shoulder. ‘It’s all right, we’ve got you now. You’re safe, everything’s going to be okay.’

Wolfgang pulled back to look at him. His eyes drank him in, like he had thought he would never see him again.

Their attention was drawn by the click of the operative’s guns. For the first time, Rajan noticed the man on the floor. He was conscious but barely. His face was bloody.

‘Don’t kill him,’ said Wolfgang.

Rajan looked at him in surprise.

‘He’ll come quietly.’

Felix stepped up beside Wolfgang. ‘You sure, Wolfie? I can blow his fucking brains out if you want.’

Wolfgang shook his head urgently. ‘No. He needs to stay alive.’

Rajan exchanged glances with Felix, who shrugged. ‘You heard the man,’ he said to the operatives. They hoisted the kidnapper up between them and carried him out.

Felix put his arm around his shoulder and kissed his cheek. ‘It’s good to see you brother.’

Wolfgang let out a long sigh and held onto them both. Rajan rubbed his back. ‘Come on, time to go home.’

A few minutes later, they emerged. Wolfgang was now dressed in the clothes Rajan had brought for him. He still looked dishevelled and like he could use a long bath and a good meal, but he looked more like himself again. Though the clothes weren’t the sort of thing he would normally wear. All Rajan had been able to get hold of was a white shirt, grey trousers and some slip-on shoes.

He was quiet as they led him out and he squinted as he emerged into the bright sunlight. ‘It’s warm,’ he murmured. ‘It’s not … been that long?’

Rajan shook his head, holding onto Wolfgang’s hand as they slowly made their way towards the van. ‘Only a couple of days.’

‘Long enough,’ said Felix.

Wolfgang didn’t say anything, just nodded. Rajan tried not to worry. He was going to be quiet after all he’d been through. He’d feel better when he got home, when he saw all his loved ones, when he’d had a wash and something to eat. But Rajan feared they had a long road of healing ahead of them.

Wolfgang’s kidnapper was already in the van, being held by two operatives. He still looked barely conscious. Rajan was going to object but Wolfgang climbed into the van without concern. Rajan tried to work out what his lover was thinking but he was always hard to read and this was no exception.

‘Don’t worry, Wolfgang. This man is going to be locked away for a long time if I have anything to say about it,’ Rajan said.

Wolfgang shook his head, slowly. ‘It wasn’t him. It was Whispers.’


	23. Chapter 23

Will felt the moment that Wolfgang was freed. He felt relief flood through the German, echoing across the whole cluster. He felt love rush through Wolfgang as he saw Rajan. Will felt the warmth and the closeness as Rajan wrapped his arms around him. He felt safe at Felix put his arm around him.

Will felt the brightness as Wolfgang stepped out into the bright light after so long in the dim light of his dungeon. He tried to reach for him but Wolfgang’s thoughts were too confused, too mixed. Will glanced at Kala, to see if she was managing to connect but, although she had stopped crying, her thoughts were also confused and he could _feel_ her trying to reach Wolfgang but she couldn’t make a proper connection either.

He crossed to her and put his arm around her. ‘He’ll be with us soon.’

‘I can’t connect with him.’

‘He’s been through a lot. He’s weak. He’ll be here soon.’

She nodded, leaning into him. Riley joined them, wrapping her arms around both of them and holding them.

Will could feel Sun, Nomi, Capheus and Lito with them too. Wolfgang’s absence throbbed between them but they were all comforted to know that it would not be for long. He was coming home.

Kala’s heart ached as she waited for Wolfgang. Being away from him like this was unbearable and to know that he’d been in pain, that he’d been put through so much, just like when Whispers had had him … that fact hurt her so much. She just wanted to protect him, to wrap him in her arms and never let him be hurt again. He’d had too much pain in his life already.

She could feel he was safe, but his thoughts were so mixed, jumping around like he couldn’t settle. That was probably a result of his captivity. His adrenaline would be up, his mood jumping and he would be bound to want to keep things to himself a little, to protect her. That was what he did.

She felt him get closer. She pulled away from Will and Riley just as the door opened and River came in, with Wolfgang, Rajan and Felix close behind her.

Rajan was holding his hand and Felix was walking as close as he could to him. But when they entered the room, Kala and Wolfgang’s gazes met.

Immediately, Wolfgang pulled away from the others and crossed straight to her. He drank her in for a fraction of a second, then she was in his arms as he kissed her, like he’d been waiting to for a year. She clutched onto him, hardly able to believe he was real, that he was in her arms again. She breathed him in, tasted him, felt his mind edging against hers.

She felt there were tears on her face and on his but neither of them made a sound. The kiss ended and he buried his face in her hair, breathing her in. She touched his face, smoothing her hand across his cheek. She felt his love for her, his desperate need just to be with her.

Quietly, Rajan came up behind them and gently slid his arm around Wolfgang’s waist. He relaxed into him and the three of them stood together, Wolfgang held securely in between them.

Nobody said anything for a while; they just let the lovers reunite. Then the cluster was with them too, all holding onto each other and a feeling of safety enveloped them all.

River gently cleared her throat. ‘I must apologise for the interruption. Wolfgang …’

Wolfgang emerged from the centre of the hug and turned to face her. He held tight to Kala’s hand. ‘I know. You want to talk to me. I can’t do it, not right now.’ He looked at Kala and Rajan. ‘I need to go home.’

‘I understand that but we do need to know what happened.’

‘I’ll come back tomorrow. But now, you have to keep Dacian locked up. Sapien guards. If a Sensate makes eye contact with him … it could be dangerous.’

River frowned, confused, but then she nodded. ‘We will do as you suggest. Please do come back as soon as you can.’

He nodded, then looked at Rajan. ‘Take me home.’

They took a taxi home. Wolfgang sat silently in between Rajan and Kala, clutching their hands. Will noticed he wasn’t really making eye contact. He was probably in shock. He needed rest, food and comfort.

Will sat in the front of the taxi and tried not to worry. They could all look after him now. Riley held his hand and they knew this would be difficult but he felt her confidence they that could help him.

When the taxi dropped them off outside the flat, Will got out first, as Rajan paid. He opened the back door and held out his hand for Kala to climb out. She took it with a small smile, as she stepped out of the taxi. Will leaned further in to help Wolfgang but the blond man didn’t look at him and climbed out alone.

Will tried to not feel rejected, but it did hurt that Wolfgang didn’t feel able to lean on him after all they’d been through. Was he going back to his old habits?

As they entered the flat, Wolfgang paused in the living room and looked around. ‘Good to be home,’ he murmured.

Will looked at him. ‘Maybe a bath would help you feel better. Riley and I can make some food.’

‘I’ll help,’ said Felix.

Wolfgang glanced at him and smiled. ‘Felix, you could burn a frozen pizza.’

Felix grinned, shrugging. ‘It’s true! But I can pour drinks no problem.’

Wolfgang laughed gently but didn’t reply. Will tried to catch his eye again but Wolfgang studiously avoided him. ‘A bath sounds great.’

Rajan gave him a wide smile. ‘As Kala will confirm, I draw the best baths.’

‘He does,’ said Kala, smiling.

Wolfgang laughed. ‘You’ve been trying to get me to have one of your baths for a year. I guess I’m going to give it up now.’

‘Precisely.’ He took Wolfgang’s hand and gently tugged him towards the stairs. ‘Come on.’

Will watched the three of them disappear upstairs. He wanted to follow but he held back his urges. Riley slipped her hand in his and gave him a knowing look.

‘Give him time,’ she said, gently.

Will swallowed and nodded. ‘I’ll try.’

He focused hard and managed to keep himself grounded, though all he really wanted to do was to let his thoughts be with Wolfgang.


	24. Chapter 24

In their large ensuite bathroom, Wolfgang closed his eyes and let his lovers take care of him. Their hands were soft and warm on him as they slowly began to undress him. He tried to keep his mind empty and his thoughts calm, but he could feel the cluster nearby. They all wanted to make sure he was all right. He understood that; he would have felt the same. But he needed this moment for just the three of them.

He felt Rajan move away and go to the bath. He heard the water running but he focused his attention on Kala. She was still close to him, physically and emotionally, and he could feel her love washing over him. He could feel other things beneath it, things he’d been cutting himself off from over the past few days. He knew she was hurting but he didn’t do how to make it better.

‘Hush,’ she whispered against his cheek. ‘You don’t need to worry anymore.’

Her hands slid over his shoulders and she eased the white shirt off his torso. He’d already stepped out of the shoes.

‘I know you prefer black,’ Kala said. ‘But this does suit you.’

He smiled gently. ‘My wardrobe has become a lot more colourful since moving in with you two.’

She laughed. ‘That’s what happens when you live with a woman.’

He grinned, opening his eyes to look at her. ‘I’m not sure it’s your influence.’ He glanced round at Rajan, who was crumbling a bubble bar under the stream of the hot tap. ‘I think it’s Rajan’s.’

Rajan grinned back at them. ‘I’m glad to hear it. I agree with Kala by the way. That does suit you.’

Wolfgang smiled. He was surprised by how quickly he was starting to feel normal again in their presence. Well, not quite normal but … at home. He let out a sigh, then laughed as Kala’s hands went to the fastening of the grey trousers.

‘You never used to be so openly eager to see me naked. Remember when you used to pretend you weren’t looking?’

She gave him a look, but the corners of her mouth twitched. ‘You so rarely have clothes on, it’s difficult to recognise you when you do.’

He smirked at her but didn’t disagree. She undid his trousers and he stepped out of them. He pulled his own boxer shorts down and chucked them in the direction of the laundry basket, relieved to finally get them off. She smoothed his hands across his chest and looked up into his eyes.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

He shook his head. ‘Not yet.’

He turned to the bath. The water was steaming and there was a mountain of bubbles. A fresh, clean and sweet scent filled the air. Wolfgang recognised part of it as lavender. He smiled. It smelled good, relaxing.

Rajan held out his hand. ‘It’s ready for you.’

Wolfgang took his hand and stepped up the two tiled steps, then climbed into the bath. The water was wonderfully hot and he sank beneath its comforting heat. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the comfort of the water. He felt Rajan and Kala sit on the tiled steps near him. For a moment, he saw Rajan through Kala’s eyes and he could see how worried he had been. They had both been terrified and he hated that thought. He hated the thought that they had suffered like he had.

He didn’t want to think about that anymore, though he knew the time would come when he would have to talk about it. First to River, then to Corinne. But that didn’t mean he had to put his lovers through any more pain than he had to.

Kala’s hand was in the water, trailing gently across his wet skin. ‘When you go to see River tomorrow, do you want us to come with you?’

He glanced at her, then away, looking up at the ceiling and sighing before he answered. ‘I don’t want to go alone.’

Her fingers traced his inner elbow. ‘I don’t blame you. We can all come with you.’

He looked sharply at her. ‘No. Just you two.’

She frowned. ‘Why, Wolfgang?’

He looked away, looking down at the bubbles covering his weary body. ‘I don’t want Will near this thing. It might be better if they go home now I’m back.’

‘Wolfie, you know they’re not going to do that,’ said Rajan. ‘You’ve always trusted Will. Why not with this?’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘I can’t explain. You just have to trust me.’ He looked at Kala. ‘Kala, tell Will he needs to stay away from this, away from me. For now.’

Her confused frown deepened. ‘I don’t understand. We all trust Will; he’s done so much for us. He can help you with this and you know he wants to. Why won’t you let him?’

He closed his eyes, trying to make his mind go blank. ‘I can’t explain, not tonight.’ He let out a long sigh. ‘Please, don’t question it. We’re all safer this way.’

He felt Rajan and Kala exchange worried glances and he felt a stab of guilt but he couldn’t explain anymore, not until he properly worked it out. He wasn’t sure of everything yet. He just knew he had to keep his cluster safe. He didn’t want to do anything drastic but he would to keep them safe. He would do anything, even cut himself off from them if he had to. Nothing else mattered, just as long as his cluster, every single one of them, stayed safe.

Kala found his hand in the water and held it. ‘All right. I’ll tell Will to keep his distance. But you know he won’t understand this.’

Wolfgang nodded. ‘I know.’

Rajan moved behind him, leaning over the bath to smooth his hands through Wolfgang’s hair, wetting it and massaging his head lightly. ‘Whatever you need, Wolfie. You get whatever you need.’

They didn’t say anything more. As Wolfgang relaxed in the bath, his lovers washed him gently and he smiled as he remembered the first time they’d done this. Not quite a year ago but so much had changed. Now he knew, without doubt, that his lovers would always look after him, as he looked after them.


	25. Chapter 25

As he and Riley cooked, Will got more and more worried. Wolfgang’s absence was less vague and more like a brick wall slamming down between them. He didn’t understand it. Why would Wolfgang block him out? He’d been the only one he’d let through while he was in that cellar. Clearly he trusted him. Or at least he had. Maybe something else had happened, something more that he wanted to keep to himself.

He kept trying to reach for Wolfgang but there was nothing in return, like he was completely shut off from him.

‘Can you feel him?’ he asked Riley, as she put on the pasta.

She glanced at him and frowned. ‘Wolfgang? Yeah, a little. He’s getting out of the bath.’ She crossed to him and took his hand. ‘Just give him a little time. He’s exhausted.’

‘What’s up?’ asked Felix, from where he was setting the table.

Will looked across at him. ‘It’s just that Wolfgang won’t connect with me.’

Felix shrugged. ‘He looked pretty wiped. It was hell in that cellar. When he feels bad, he retreats. I wouldn’t take it personally.’

He knew Riley and Felix were right but it was hard not to take it personally. He and Wolfgang had become so close over the past year. It hurt to think that he was pulling away now.

He heard footsteps on the stairs and he looked up to see Kala coming down alone. He frowned. ‘Where’s Wolfgang? Food’s nearly ready.’

She bit her lip as she walked over to him. ‘I’m going to take his food up to him. He doesn’t want to come down.’

Will exchanged glances with Riley, but then he felt Kala’s attention on him and he turned to her. ‘What is it, Kala?’

She caught his arm and tugged him away from the others. She looked anxiously at him, still biting her lip. He reached out and cupped her shoulder gently. ‘What is it, Kala?’ 

‘It’s …’ She sighed, looking up at him with wide eyes. ‘It’s Wolfgang. I don’t really understand why myself but he’s asked me to get you to keep your distance.’

He swallowed down his hurt, though he knew she could feel it. ‘Just me?’

She shrugged helplessly. ‘That’s what he said. I really don’t know why.’

‘Well if that’s what he wants. Maybe we should go home.’

Kala shook her head urgently. ‘Please don’t, Will. I mean, he said maybe you should but Rajan and I want you to stay.’

‘But if Wolfgang doesn’t want us here…’

‘ _I_ want you here, Will. I _need_ you here. He’s not … he’s not his normal self. He keeps talking about keeping us all safe, keeping you safe. I don’t know if it’s just because of what he’s been through or … or if there’s something else going on but I need you here. Please, Will.’

He nodded, pulling her into a hug. ‘All right. I’ll stay and I’ll try to keep my distance.’

‘I’m sure it won’t be for long. Maybe after he’s talked to River about what happened.’

Will nodded. ‘Let’s hope.’ He pulled back and looked at her. ‘Just make sure he knows I’ll be here if he needs me.’

She smiled. ‘I know. We all rely on you so much, Will.’

He hugged her. ‘You know I’ll do whatever I can for all of you.’

‘We know,’ said Kala.

For a moment, they felt the cluster with them, joining in the hug and Will could feel their confidence in him, their utter belief and trust that he would look after them. But he could feel Wolfgang’s absence and it made his chest ache. He just wanted to look after the German and make sure he was all right after everything he’d been through but he just wouldn’t let him.

After eating his meal in bed, Wolfgang settled down to sleep. It was good to sleep, properly sleep in a real bed again, without the fear that something was going to happen. There was still fear there, because he knew something was going on, but he felt so much better now he was at home, with his lovers.

They joined him in bed and he could tell they were reluctant to leave him alone. They were anxious about him, and he knew it didn’t help that he couldn’t explain what was going on. After he’d talked to River, maybe he’d be able to explain it to them.

He snuggled into Kala, his arms around her and his face buried in her soft curls. Rajan’s arm was draped around his waist and he dropped kisses on Wolfgang’s shoulder. ‘It’s so good to have you home,’ Rajan murmured.

Wolfgang let out a long breath, pulling back to meet Kala’s eyes. He laced his fingers through Rajan’s. ‘It’s good to be home. I thought … I thought I never …’ His voice cracked and he pressed his lips together.

Rajan dropped a kiss into his hair. ‘Well, you’re home now and everything’s all right.’

Wolfgang closed his eyes, hoping with all his heart that Rajan was right, that everything was all right, or that it would be.

‘We love you,’ Kala whispered, stroking his cheek.

‘I love you too. Both of you.’ He swallowed, his other arm slipping around Kala’s waist and the three of them held each other tightly.

Wolfgang closed his eyes. He felt safe here, with his two lovers. Their hands were gentle on him, smoothing their palms across his hip, combing their fingers through his hair. He could feel their love for him with every moment and he thanked whatever power there was in the world for bringing these wonderful people into his life, these two people he loved with all his heart. 

But he knew there was danger coming. He knew the bad things had not stopped yet. He felt guilt twist his insides as he thought about Will and what he was doing to him. He didn’t have any other choice but he hated it. He could only hope it wouldn’t have to be for long, and they would all be safe again very soon.


	26. Chapter 26

Wolfgang woke early in the morning with a creeping feeling sliding across his skin. He climbed out from between Kala and Rajan, who were both still sleeping, and headed for the bathroom. He had a piss and avoided looking in the mirror. He didn’t want to see _that face_ looking back at him.

He left the bathroom and pulled on a t-shirt and jogging pants, before he headed downstairs. All the lights were still off downstairs and outside, dawn was just approaching. He got a drink of water, then retrieved his cigarettes from his coat. With a grimace, he remembered that he’d lost his leather jacket when he’d been taken, and his favourite black jeans. Maybe he’d get them back once BPO had finished searching the house and taking evidence.

He headed out onto the balcony off the living room. He smiled. Rajan did love balconies. This place, and the place in Mumbai, both had far too many balconies in his view. It made the flats hard to secure. As he leaned against the rail and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter, he remembered going to Mumbai for the first time last year, for Ajay’s trial. He’d been terrified that something would happen to Rajan or Kala and the sheer number of balconies had given him a lot to worry about.

He lit his cigarette and gazed out at the familiar Paris skyline. This was his home, and he’d missed it but he didn’t quite feel right inside. He knew why, or thought he knew, but he didn’t know what to do about it. Would River, or any of the scientists at BPO be able to do anything? Would anyone be able to do anything?

He glanced to his right and saw Nomi beside him. He straightened in surprise. He hadn’t deliberately left himself open to anyone and Nomi didn’t often visit him. Well, that wasn’t quite true. They often connected during sex; they were on the same wavelength there. And he’d helped her fight plenty of times. But he hadn’t expected her to visit in times of emotional crisis. Was that what he was going through?

‘I know what it’s like to be held at the mercy of someone,’ she said, by way of an explanation.

It was, he supposed. His memory flashed back to that time. The eight of them had only been at the beginning of their Sensate journey, as Will would call it, and their connections back then had been fragile things. He remembered seeing and feelings cuffs on his wrists while at dinner with Felix; he remembered feeling her fear and dread. Now he had his own memory of lying cuffed to a hospital bed, waiting for horrible things to be done to him.

He held her understanding gaze for a moment, then looked away. ‘I’m all right. Been through worse.’

‘I don’t think it matters what’s worse,’ she said, gently. ‘There’s something about that fear, about not knowing if you’ll get out of the situation, not knowing if you’ll come out of it whole.’

He took a long drag on his cigarette and stared at the rail. He rubbed the smooth, varnished wood, studying the grain of it intently. ‘I thought I was gonna die,’ he found himself admitting.

He felt her hand, gentle on his arm. ‘I know,’ she whispered.

He swallowed, then let out a sigh as he felt her understanding wash over him. He knew no one could just make this better but he was glad he had someone who understood. He felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. Will would understand, but he couldn’t talk to him right now. He wanted to so bad. But he couldn’t risk it.

‘Why can’t you talk to Will?’ Nomi asked.

He glanced at her, then quickly away. ‘It’s not safe.’

He felt her confusion and he sighed. ‘I know. You don’t understand. But just trust me. He’s better off staying away from me until I get this sorted.’

‘What do you need to sort, Wolfgang? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can help.’

He shook his head. ‘No, this is one time you can’t help.’

‘You never could ask for help, Wolfie,’ said a different voice behind him.

He looked round and grinned at Felix, who looked like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards. His hair was sticking up everywhere and his eyes were barely open. ‘What fucking time is it?’

‘About six I think.’

‘Fucking hell, Wolfie. It’s the middle of the night.’

‘Then why you up?’

‘Heard you getting up. You all right? Who you talking to?’

‘Nomi. She’s gone now.’

Felix stepped up beside up and nicked a cigarette from Wolfgang’s packet. He stole his lighter out of his hand and they smoked for a few minutes in silence.

‘So, what you avoiding help for this time?’

‘I dunno if you noticed, Felix, but I have just been kidnapped.’

Felix glared at him. ‘Oh, I noticed. Your lovers were in bits by the way. So were Riley and Will.’

Wolfgang stared out over the city. ‘I know,’ he said, tightly.

‘So, what you doing, man?’

‘I’m not doing anything.’

‘Yeah, sure,’ drawled Felix. ‘Look, you got all these people willing to help you and your stubborn ass is refusing to let them.’

‘It’s not about that. It’s … there’s something going on.’

‘What?’

‘I can’t explain it.’

Felix reached out, took hold of his arm and roughly turned him to face him. ‘Is this like when we were thirteen? Has something …?’

Wolfgang pulled away. ‘No, it’s nothing like that.’ He averted his gaze; he didn’t like being reminded that Felix knew about that. ‘Look, I can’t really explain … it’s just …’ He took a deep breath. ‘I think Whispers is back.’

Felix stared at him. ‘Back? How it that even possible, Wolfie? You killed him, right? You and Will blasted him out of the fucking sky.’

‘Yeah, we did. And I don’t really understand it but … I know he’s back. I’ve seen him. He’s in Dacian, the guy who kidnapped me.’

Felix dragged a hand through his hair. ‘It’s too early for this. You think Whispers is somehow in the brain of the guy who kidnapped you.’

‘It’s worse than that, Felix.’

Felix frowned. ‘What? What now?’

Wolfgang bit his lip, wondering whether to admit this, even to Felix. He took a deep breath and stabbed his cigarette out. ‘I think he’s in my head too.’

‘How is that even possible?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I dunno, but I know what I feel. Whispers is in my mind.’


	27. Chapter 27

Will woke around seven in the morning, beside a still sleeping Riley. He stared up at the ceiling. He could feel that Kala and Wolfgang were up. She was just getting out of the shower and he was downstairs talking to Felix and Rajan and making some breakfast.

Will wanted to join them. He wanted to talk and laugh with Wolfgang as they moved around the kitchen making pancakes together, like they had done before. Actually it was Will who’d taught Wolfgang how to make pancakes. Now he was making them on his own and he didn’t want Will anywhere near him.

Will’s chest ached. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong, why Wolfgang no longer trusted him, why he didn’t want to talk to him, or why he didn’t want him anywhere near him. He wanted to go to him and ask but he had promised Kala he would keep his distance. There would be no connection initiated by Will anyway. He knew that was what Wolfgang wanted but he didn’t have to like it. In fact, it really hurt.

Beside him, Riley shifted and stirred. She stretched, sleepily as she woke. She yawned, then slid her arm over his stomach and gave him a little hug.

‘Good morning, elsken min,’ she murmured.

He found her hand and squeezed gently. ‘Good morning.’

She sighed and he felt her looking at him. ‘You’re thinking about Wolfgang.’

He nodded, then looked at her, knowing she could see the pain in his eyes.

‘Why won’t he talk to me? He knows I’m always here for him, that he can say anything to me.’

She shook her head. ‘I don’t think it’s about that. He’s... scared of something.’

He shifted onto his side and she slipped her arm around him and held him tight. He studied her face, absorbing her feelings.

‘What is he frightened of?’

She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I can just feel the fear. It’s … it’s not that he doesn’t trust you or doesn’t _want_ to talk to you. He wants to, he wants to desperately. He’s just afraid for you.’

‘That doesn’t make any sense. He knows I can take hearing about anything he’s got to say.’

‘I don’t think it’s about that, Will. It’s about Whispers.’

He took a sharp breath. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I don’t know. All I know is that that’s where Wolfgang’s thoughts are. With Whispers. He’s all he can think about.’ 

Will got up suddenly. ‘I have to talk to him.’

‘Will, you promised you’d give him some space.’

‘I know what I promised,’ said Will, pulling on some clothes. ‘But I can’t leave him to face this alone. I refuse to let him deal with this all by himself, Riley. I fucking refuse.’

Dressed, he strode out of the room, full of determination. Behind him, he felt Riley’s exasperation, but he also felt her agreement as she followed him.

He got down to the kitchen and felt the relaxed atmosphere. Wolfgang was laughing with Rajan and Felix as they made pancakes. But when he noticed Will, he tensed, dropping his gaze to the floor and turning away.

Will stormed into the room and over to him. Wolfgang didn’t even glance at him.

‘Wolfie, what’s going on?’

Wolfgang kept his eyes studiously away. ‘Leave it, Will. Just leave it.’

‘I’m not gonna leave it, Wolfgang. We’re worried about you.’

‘Will, calm down,’ said Riley behind him.

Rajan stepped up beside them. ‘Don’t take this personally, Will.’

‘How can I not? He won’t even look at me.’

‘It’s not about you, Will,’ said Kala, halfway down the stairs.

Will glanced at her and he could feel her compassion. But he was too wound up to let it calm him. ‘I know. It’s about Whispers but I don’t understand why we can’t handle this together, like before.’ 

He turned back to Wolfgang, who still wasn’t looking at him. He felt a stab of hurt in his belly and before he knew what he was doing, he’d grabbed Wolfgang’s arm and shook him hard. ‘Will you just fucking look at me?’

Wolfgang squeezed his eyes shut. ‘I can’t! Will, stop it. You don’t understand.’

Will glared at him. ‘Then talk to me! Help me understand!’

Will’s vision seemed to jerk and it was no longer Wolfgang standing in front of him. ‘Leave me the fuck alone,’ growled the voice he feared.

Will lost his grip on Wolfgang, stumbling as he stared at the person now standing in front of him, the person he feared above anyone else. It wasn’t Wolfgang. It was Whispers.

Wolfgang grunted with effort as he pulled his body away from Will. Whispers pressed at his mind, determined and gleeful at his success.

‘No, no, no,’ Wolfgang heard his own voice emerge from his throat as he turned and ran out of the front door, fear pulsing inside him. He had to get away from. He had to protect them.

He felt a hand grab his shoulder and he looked to see Felix. Another hand took his and Rajan stepped up beside him. They were in the corridor, the front door firmly closed in between them and the others.

‘You all right, my love?’ Rajan asked, as Felix squeezed his shoulder.

Wolfgang took a deep, steadying breath. ‘Yes, but I think we had better go to see River now.’

‘What about Kala?’

Wolfgang shook his head urgently. ‘No, just you two.’

‘All right,’ said Rajan, gently. Wolfgang knew he was worried but he appreciated his calm manner. It made him feel safe.

Felix clapped him on the back. ‘Come on, let’s go sort out that mental head of yours.’

Wolfgang couldn’t help laughing. There was something about Felix’s irreverent manner that immediately made him feel better.

Suddenly, Kala was next to him. ‘Are you all right?’

Wolfgang kept his gaze straight ahead, deliberately not looking at her. ‘I’m fine. Is Will? I didn’t mean to…’

‘He knows. He’s okay. Go to River. We’ll be here when you get back.’

He nodded, falling silent aware of Felix and Rajan listening. He didn’t want to worry them or the cluster, but he wasn’t sure he was going to be coming back. 


	28. Chapter 28

Will stared at where Wolfgang had run out the door, hardly able to believe what he had seen. Wolfgang had become Whispers. It wasn’t possible. It didn’t make sense.

Weak with shock, he felt behind him for somewhere to sit down. Riley took his hand and guided him to the sofa. He sat down gratefully and held on tight to her hand. After a moment, he looked up and saw the rest of the cluster. They were all staring at him, and at each other, in shock and fear. He didn’t know whether it was theirs or his own reflecting back at him. 

‘He said it wasn’t safe to talk to you,’ said Nomi.

Will looked at her. ‘What did he say to you?’

Nomi shook her head. ‘Nothing much. Just that it wasn’t safe.’ She looked around at them all. ‘He seemed really scared.’

Kala stirred suddenly and looked at them. ‘He’s all right. Felix and Rajan are going with him to talk to River.’ She frowned, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘He’s terrified.’

Will rubbed his face with one hand and let out a long breath. ‘I don’t understand it. Why would I see _him_?’

‘Who did you see?’ asked Capheus.

Will looked at him. ‘It was Whispers. I saw Whispers where Wolfgang was standing.’

The cluster exchanged glances.

‘So, this really is about Whispers,’ said Riley, her hand landing on his shoulder. She rubbed gently. ‘What do you think is going on?’

Will shook his head. ‘I really don’t know.’

Sun looked at him. ‘You and Wolfgang are the only ones of us connected to Whispers. Perhaps that is why he did not want to look at you.’

‘Maybe this is like Sara,’ said Nomi.

‘That’s right,’ said Lito. ‘Or like Angelica, or Raoul. We see them but they’re not really here anymore. They’re just memories, echoes of themselves.’

‘That could be true, Will, couldn’t it?’ said Riley.

Will shook his head, standing up and brushing Riley away. ‘No. Whispers is inside Wolfgang. I saw him. He was there. I don’t understand it but he’s there. He’s back.’

Wolfgang hated feeling like this. He felt out of control, like he wasn’t really himself. His mind, or Whispers’ mind, kept trying to take him back to his childhood, back to that helpless feeling he’d had around his father. It kept trying to take him back to feeling helpless on that hospital bed, waiting for Dacian, and Whispers, to do their worst to him.

They took a taxi to BPO headquarters. Rajan held his hand the whole way there, while Felix sat in the front and practised his French with the driver. He was passable by now but not exactly brilliant. Though of course, he knew all the swearwords. That was the first thing he’d learned. Well, that and a few pick up lines.

Rajan squeezed his hand gently. ‘All right?’

Wolfgang nodded, glancing at him. ‘I hope Kala doesn’t mind me doing this without her.’

‘I’m sure she won’t. She’ll understand. This is something you have to do. After all, you’re only trying to keep them all safe.’

Wolfgang sighed deeply. ‘I just hope I can.’

‘Can you explain it to me any more than you have?’

He shook his head. ‘I’d rather just say it all at once if you don’t mind. I’m going to have to tell River everything anyway.’ He looked at him. ‘I don’t want to be alone for that.’

Rajan nodded, bringing Wolfgang’s hand to his mouth and kissing it gently. ‘I’ll be there the whole time. I promise.’

Wolfgang managed a smile for him. ‘I know.’

All too soon for Wolfgang’s liking, they were approaching BPO. He shuddered. He knew this was a safe place now but it still made him think of those anonymous people in those white hazmat suits, pointing semi-automatic rifles at him. It made him think of pain, of forced betrayal, and of the hanging spectre of death.

They got out of the taxi and he held tight to Rajan’s hand. It didn’t entirely stop him from shaking but it helped a little. Felix slung his arm around his shoulder and squeezed.

‘It’ll be okay, brother,’ he said, then ruffled his hair.

Wolfgang felt an overwhelming rush of love and gratitude for his brother-by-choice. He knew that, whatever happened, Felix would be there for him. Felix would do absolutely anything for him.

Wolfgang focused on his footsteps as they made their way to River’s office, Rajan gently leading him and Felix by his side. It would be okay. Everything would be all right.

He thought about Will. He’d met his eyes; he was sure he had, in those last seconds before he’d run out. He’d felt Whispers’ jubilation inside him as their gazes had met, just for an instant. He’d felt Whispers’ voice jerking out of his throat, taking over his voice and his body. Fuck, he should never have gone home. He should have got River to lock him up straight away. He’d just been so glad to be going home, to get to be with Rajan and Kala again, to be with his cluster. He hadn’t even realised how deeply Whispers was in his mind, not until those final moments, not until he’d felt those thoughts so foreign to his own mind.

River greeted him with a smile and he felt himself relax a little. This wasn’t the BPO of old. He could trust her. They’d always been able to trust her.

‘Wolfgang, it’s good to see you. I hope you are feeling a little better this morning. I must confess, I did not expect you here so early.’

‘I wasn’t planning to come early really,’ said Wolfgang, as they took the seats she offered in her office.

‘Then what brings you so early?’

He glanced at Rajan, who nodded encouragingly. ‘It’s … it’s difficult to explain.’

She sat back in her chair. ‘Take your time.’

He took a deep breath, wondering how to proceed. He supposed the only way was to plunge right in. ‘I think Whispers is alive.’

She sat up straight, her eyes widening in alarm. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You know what he was attempting to do. I think he’s succeeded.’

She shook her head in shock and disbelief. ‘It seems … impossible.’

‘It’s not. He had a machine, like the traceworks but it wasn’t designed to track Sensates, or control them.’

‘What was it designed for?’

‘It was designed for keeping him alive.’

‘Wolfgang … you blew him up yourself,’ said Rajan, gently. ‘There was nothing left.’

He shook his head. ‘There is always something. Sensates always leave an echo, an impression of themselves behind in any other Sensate they connect with. All of us, my cluster, can still see Angelica. Those who met him can see Jonas sometimes. Will … Will and I can see Lila, and … Whispers.’

‘But that is normal, Wolfgang,’ said River, gently. ‘It’s just a memory, like you say, more than we feel of a person once they’re gone but a memory all the same.’

He looked straight into her eyes. ‘No. It’s more than that. I don’t understand completely, but somehow he used this machine to implant himself into Dacian’s mind. In … in that cellar, he was trying to use the strength of my memories, the emotion behind them, to reach me too. I don’t know whether he just wanted to absorb my strength in Dacian’s body or … whether he planned on taking over me too.’ He swallowed, looking down at Rajan’s hand firmly clasping his own. ‘I just know … he’s in my mind, like he’s in Dacian’s, and if we don’t stop him … he’ll get what he always wanted. He’ll be able to live forever, and feed on us forever.’

He looked into Rajan’s eyes, trying to communicate the seriousness and the danger behind these words. He had to keep Kala safe. Rajan frowned, then his mouth fell open and Wolfgang knew he understood.

He looked back at River. ‘We have to stop him, and it starts with me. You need to lock me up.’ 


	29. Chapter 29

Wolfgang focused on Rajan’s hand firmly gripping his, and Felix by his side as they followed River down the corridor. He tried to ignore the BPO operative following close at their rear. His belly twisted in fear but he tried not to acknowledge it. He knew if he did, that the cluster would sense it and come to him. That was the last thing he wanted.

That wasn’t quite true. Part of him wanted it. Part of him wanted to feel them with him so desperately but he knew it wasn’t safe.

There was also the part of him that was Whispers, wanting him to bring the rest of the cluster there, so he could spread, so he could use their strength to bolster his mind.

He looked around as they walked, part of him wanting to remember the way, to make sure he wasn’t lost in the bowels of BPO forever. He reminded himself that he’d asked for this, that he had to be locked up for the safety of his cluster, for the safety of all Sensates. But the fear pulsed inside him and he had to force himself to keep walking rather than turn and run for his life.

Bright light shone in through high windows. The walls were white. Everywhere was white, cold and sterile. He felt like a specimen, being taken to be examined. It was different from before. BPO under the Chairman had been dark and sinister. _It’s different now_ , he told himself. But, if he was honest with himself, it didn’t feel that different.

He felt Kala’s presence suddenly, a sharp spike of her fear reflecting his own. He closed his eyes and focused on building his walls. He could feel them all with him, all worrying about him. But they couldn’t be here. They couldn’t visit him; it wasn’t safe. He wasn’t safe.

River led them into a lift. As he felt the stomach-churning motion of the lift going down, Wolfgang leaned against the wall and let out a long, focusing breath. He clutched Rajan’s hand tightly and he could feel his lover watching him. Wolfgang tried not to think about how worried he must be but he couldn’t escape the thought. He knew Rajan would look after Kala though and that was all that mattered. She’d be all right.

Felix’s arm slid around his shoulders and squeezed. ‘I’ll stay with you,’ he murmured.

Wolfgang nodded, managing a small smile. He knew his brother would always be there for him, no matter what. Even if he couldn’t ever connect with his cluster or any other Sensate ever again, he’d have his brother.

As the lift went further down, somehow he felt further away from his cluster, until he couldn’t feel them at all. He was alone.

The lift doors opened and they walked out into a new corridor. This one was windowless, though unnaturally light. He wondered how long he’d have to stay down here. Years? Forever maybe. _Life on beta blockers is no life at all_ , as Mr Hoy would say. He didn’t want that. To stay down in the bowels of BPO for the rest of his life, never connecting with his cluster ever again, never knowing that closeness again, never being able to kiss Kala ever again. He couldn’t do it. He’d rather die.

River opened a door and they walked through an observation room. There was another room directly opposite. They both had locks, both physical and combination locks. Wolfgang closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see the combination; he knew he’d remember it if he did, and he couldn’t allow Whispers to get out through him.

He wondered if Dacian was nearby, in another of these cells. It didn’t look like a cell. It was quite a large room and, like the corridor, the walls were white. There was a small double bed and a chest of drawers on one side of the room. On the other was a sofa, a full bookcase and a small table and two chairs. There was a large television on the wall in front of the sofa. There were no windows here either but it was bright, like daylight. There was another door, which he guessed led to a bathroom.

The operative shut the main door behind them and stood by it. Wolfgang, after looking around, turned to face River.

‘Nice cell,’ he said.

She grimaced. ‘We hate to do this, Wolfgang, but you are right. It is necessary. While you’re here, we will make you as comfortable as possible. Anything you need, we will provide for you.’ She turned and showed him the panel next to the door. ‘You can contact me twenty-four hours a day with this button. There will always be one of my operatives outside your door and you can talk to them if you press this button.’

‘They’re … Sapiens?’

She nodded, smiling kindly. ‘Everyone you deal with here will be a Sapien so you don’t need to worry.’

He nodded, not arguing with the irony of that statement. Every moment was worry.

‘This button activates the room assistant. She can display scenery or play music or read books to you. You can also activate her by calling CAS.’ She pressed a button a clear image of a beautiful forest.

‘Impressive.’

‘And the lights use sunlight, no artificial light.’

He nodded, taking a deep breath. ‘I appreciate it.’

‘Will we be able to visit?’ asked Rajan, his anxiety plain in his voice.

‘As you and Mr Berner are Sapiens, you may visit at any time, and you can stay with him, but we need to make sure it is safe for Sensates to visit. We have synthesised a strong liquid blocker, which should be able to interrupt your connections so they can visit physically.’

‘I can’t feel them now,’ Wolfgang said, frowning, not since we got down to this floor.

‘No, there is a dampening field in place over this floor. While you are down here, you can make no connections with any other Sensate. It is the best way to keep you safe.’

Wolfgang sighed. ‘I understand.’

‘I hope we will not have to keep you here long. We will do all we can to deal with this situation.’

‘Just … keep my cluster safe.’

‘We will. I promise. I shall leave you now, Wolfgang. When your visitors are ready to go, use the panel.’

‘Rajan’s leaving now.’

Rajan looked sharply at him. ‘I don’t want to leave you here.’

‘Felix is gonna stay with me. You need to get back to Kala. You need to explain what’s happening. They’re … they’re all afraid for me.’

Rajan nodded. He tugged Wolfgang closed and kissed him softly on the mouth. ‘I’ll come back tomorrow.’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘Thank you.’ He dropped his voice to a whisper. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ said Rajan, squeezing his hand. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll look after Kala.’

‘I know you will.’

He turned slowly and walked towards the door. As they filed out, Rajan turned to smile at him one last time. Wolfgang returned it, hoping he couldn’t tell just how frightened he was.


	30. Chapter 30

Wolfgang sat on the bed and looked around at his new surroundings. As cells went, it wasn’t bad. It was comfortable enough, clean and there were things to do. He could read or watch TV or listen to music. But it was still a cell.

He smiled as he watched Felix. His friend was playing with the voice assistant thing. At a simple command, CAS could create vistas of almost anything you could imagine on the walls and the floor.

‘CAS, show me the beach,’ said Felix. ‘Woah!’ he said, staring around as the walls became the horizon across the sea to one side and endless beach to the other. It even looked like there was sand beneath their feet. ‘This is amazing, Wolfie.’

‘Yeah, it’s great.’ He hadn’t meant to be sarcastic but in his bleak mood it came out like that.

Felix glanced at him and Wolfgang could feel him attempting to decipher him. Wolfgang tried to keep his expression neutral but he knew it was hopeless. Felix had _always_ been able to read him, despite Wolfgang’s best efforts.

‘So, how bad is that mental head of yours this time?’ Felix asked lightly

Wolfgang looked at him darkly. ‘Bad. How do you think you’d feel with the psycho who tried to kill you in your head?’

‘I’d probably wanna blow my brains out.’

‘Helpful, Felix.’

Felix came over and sat on the bed beside him. ‘But you’re stronger than that.’

Wolfgang sighed. ‘Maybe it would have been stronger to have done it already, put an end to all this as soon as I realised.’

‘Conan wouldn’t do that. Conan would fight to the bitter end. And that’s what you’re gonna do as well. I’ve known you a long time brother and one thing I know about is that you don’t give up.’

‘I feel like giving up.’

Felix slung an arm around his shoulders. ‘But you won’t. Because you’re a stubborn fucker. I’m sure you get a kick out of doing the impossible. I mean, Wolfie, you cracked an S&D safe and you single-handedly took down one of the most powerful crime families in Germany.’

‘Felix, this is different.’

‘No it isn’t. Not really. Only difference is, you’ve got more people on your side now.’ He looked into Wolfgang’s face and cupped his cheek, patting gently. ‘It’s not just you and me anymore, brother.’

Wolfgang felt a rush of gratitude for Felix. Fuck, where would he be without his best friend? Probably dead a long time ago. Thank fuck he had him. He didn’t know how to thank him, though he did know that it wasn’t really necessary. Felix knew how he felt.

He put his arm around his best friend and pulled him into a rough hug. ‘I love you, brother,’ he whispered.

Felix squeezed him back tightly. ‘Love you too, du verrückte Fotze.’

Wolfgang laughed. It was incredible how easily Felix could make him feel better. No one else he knew spoke so directly. He needed Felix to tell him when to get a grip. He never walked on eggshells around him, not once.

He got up and crossed to the sofa. ‘Let’s see if we get anything decent on this telly. Might even get some German channels.’

‘Yeah! I’m fucking sick of everything being in French!’

Wolfgang shook his head, laughing as he sat down and grabbed the remote. ‘That’s what happens when you move to Paris, Felix.’

‘Heh, yeah well it shows what I’d put up with for you, doesn’t it? Even the shitshow that’s French TV.’

Wolfgang couldn’t help laughing again as he settled down with Felix to watch something. He didn’t really care what. Anything to keep him distracted from the thoughts threatening to emerge into his consciousness. He couldn’t believe he was here again, trapped in a cellar with no way out. At least this time, he wasn’t alone. He just hoped it would be safe for his cluster to visit him a little.

Rajan didn’t know how the hell he was going to explain all this to Kala, Will and Riley. Kala would be desperately worried, though she would understand Wolfgang’s need to protect her. And from what he knew of Riley, she was quite practical when it came to doing what had to be done. She wasn’t fearless but she was brave and she understood sacrifice. She would understand.

Will, he wasn’t sure about. It was one thing for him to put himself through any sort of shit to save his loved ones, but he found it difficult to accept anyone else doing it.

Rajan didn’t blame him on that one. It felt shit that he couldn’t protect Wolfgang, the way he’d protected him. At least he could look after Kala. No matter what, he was determined that he would be there for Kala.

He wouldn’t get to see how the rest of the cluster reacted, or rather he would find it difficult to separate if it was Sun, Lito, Capheus or Nomi reacting through Kala, Will or Riley. He was getting better at telling if it was Wolfgang or Kala speaking to him, no matter whose body it actually was, but the others were more difficult.

He unlocked his front door and stepped inside. Will and Riley both looked across at him from the sofas and Kala came straight over him. She hugged him hard and he could feel her body shaking a little. He took her hand.

‘What do you know already?’ he asked, as he pulled away from the hug. He saw tears in her eyes.

‘They’ve locked him up,’ she said.

He nodded. ‘He asked them to.’ They crossed back to the sofas. Rajan noticed how tightly Will was gripping Riley’s hand, like he might run off after Wolfgang if he didn’t. Rajan mused that it was a distinct possibility. No one had a stronger protective streak than Will.

‘What’s really going on, Rajan?’ Riley asked. ‘Will saw Whispers, like he was taking over Wolfgang’s body.’

‘That’s right,’ said Rajan. ‘That’s what Wolfie says anyway, something about Whispers using this machine to infiltrate Dacian’s mind, and now Wolfgang’s.’

‘What sort of tech is it?’ asked Riley, though to Rajan it sounded more like Nomi.

He shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. Presumably, BPO have it now, since they raided Dacian’s place.’

‘Why can’t we feel Wolfgang now?’ asked Will. ‘Is he on blockers? None of us can get through.’

‘It’s some sort of dampening field, River said. I don’t know how it works but Wolfgang felt it immediately. It cuts him off from any Sensate connection. It’s necessary to keep him safe.’

‘How long is he going to be there? Can we see him?’ asked Kala.

‘River said we can visit but he’ll have to be on blockers before you get in close proximity to him. The dampening field might not work if you’re close together.’ He took a deep breath. ‘And I suppose he’ll be there until they can get rid of Whispers or they find some other way to keep him safe. It seems to be all related to eye contact, so you might not be able to have direct contact with him when you visit, but at least you’d be able to see him.’

Will rubbed a hand over his face. ‘I can’t believe he’s under lock and key again. When will we all be free?’

‘Is Felix staying with him?’ asked Kala. He could see her worry in her wide eyes and the way she clung onto his hand.

‘Yes. He’s not alone.’ He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it tenderly. ‘He’s all right, I promise. It’s not some dingy cell. It’s a comfortable room. He’s got music, books, a TV, everything he might need.’

‘Except his freedom,’ said Riley, in a blunter voice than her normal one. Sun perhaps? She had the most experience of losing her freedom.

‘It won’t be for long,’ he said, partly to convince himself as well as them.

Will straightened. ‘Nomi says her and Neets are going to fly in as soon as they can.’

‘Lito has a couple of days left on a film, then he’ll be here,’ said Riley.

‘Sun says Kwan-ho is booking their flights right now,’ said Kala. She smiled. ‘And Capheus is bringing Zakia and their bodyguards. He says nothing is more important than this.’

Rajan nodded. ‘Right, I guess it’s a good thing I keep those spare beds made up. Looks like we’re going to need them.’ He stood. ‘I’ll pack a bag for Wolfgang. I said I’d go back tomorrow but I think he’d appreciate having some of his own things with him.’

Will smiled. ‘Shame we can’t pack him a swimming pool. A few days he’ll be going crazy in there.’


	31. Chapter 31

Wolfgang felt useless. It had been a few hours and already he felt restless. He just wanted to go back to his damn life. He wanted to get back to normality, back to cooking with Rajan and Kala, back to sharing their bed, to kissing and making love with them. He wanted to be with his cluster freely, experience the eight of them together again. He wanted to go back to work, back to hanging out with Felix in his shop. Fuck, he even wanted to go back to therapy.

‘Pity we can’t go clubbing,’ said Felix.

Wolfgang lifted his head from the bed and glanced across the room at Felix, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa.

He shrugged. ‘You go if you want. You don’t have to stay locked up here.’

Felix looked at him. ‘I’m not leaving you.’ The response was automatic and sincere and Wolfgang had expected it. He was grateful but he still didn’t want Felix to stay here the whole time with him. He might have to put up with being locked up like this but Felix didn’t.

_You hurt everyone around you. Why not let your friend go? You don’t need to drag him down with you._

Wolfgang set his jaw, sitting up and looking properly at Felix. ‘You should go.’

‘Wolfie …’

‘I’m serious. You shouldn’t spend the night here.’

‘Wolfie, where is this coming from? You don’t wanna be alone down here.’

He stood up, looking hard at his friend. ‘I don’t want you to stay.’

Felix stood and crossed to him. He put his hand on his shoulder. ‘You don’t need to be alone, brother.’

_You’re not alone. You’re never going to be alone again._

‘I’m fine, Felix. You have the shop to deal with.’

‘You’re more important than the shop, Wolfie,’ Felix said, narrowing his eyes as he searched his face. ‘What’s going on, Wolfie?’

Wolfgang turned away, pacing up and down his spacious cell. ‘I just don’t want you to stay down here if you don’t need to. Go, open the shop, go clubbing whatever you want, I’m absolutely fine.’

‘Wolfie, when you say that you’re not.’

Wolfgang growled with frustration. ‘Then what am I supposed to say to get you to leave?’

_Be calm. Don’t let him see your aggravation._

Wolfgang took a deep breath, imagining Sun or Riley were there with him, helping him to breathe. He turned, meeting Felix’s eyes and letting him see how calm he could be.

‘Honestly, I’ll be all right. I don’t want you to stay down here going crazy with me. I’ll be much better off if you go home. Come and visit me tomorrow, tell me about hooking up with some girl.’

Felix’s expression relaxed and he smiled. ‘Hey, man, you know I don’t pick up as many without my wingman.’

Wolfgang gave him a smile. ‘Just flash that cute smile, you’ll be fine.’

Felix rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t try your lines on me, Wolfie,’ he teased.

Wolfgang crossed to him and brought him into a hug. ‘Dankeschön,’ he whispered.

Felix hugged him back, then pulled away. ‘All right, if you’re sure…’

‘I’m sure.’

‘Right, I’ll come back tomorrow, all right?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘Sure, whatever time you like.’

Felix hesitated, then patted Wolfgang’s cheek. ‘Don’t go crazy before I get back, will you?’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘I’m not planning on going crazy at all.’

Felix took another, searching look at Wolfgang, who kept his face as neutral as he could. Felix seemed to be satisfied, as he nodded and turned. He tapped the panel and talked to the guard. In a moment, he was let out and Wolfgang was alone.

Well, not alone. Not anymore.

Despite the feeling of the cluster with her, and Riley and Will right there in the room, Kala felt alone. She wanted Wolfgang, she wanted to feel him with her again. Although he’d been there the night before and she’d slept in his arms, their reunion had been so brief that it felt like nothing.

After Rajan had left again, she curled up on the sofa, hugging her knees and gazing out of the glass balcony doors. She could feel that Will was still in shock, but she didn’t have the emotional energy to help him. Riley was with him, talking softly to him.

Whispers. This was all Whispers’ fault. He had caused all this fear and pain. He was dead, and he deserved to be, but that hadn’t stopped him. He was back, back to cause misery and pain all over again.

She felt a spike of anger in her belly and she got up and stepped out onto the balcony. It was cooler outside and the air felt good on her face. But her chest ached with the grief of separation and her anger at the world twisted her belly.

‘Use your anger,’ said Sun, close by her side.

‘I can’t,’ said Kala. ‘I can’t do anything. I can’t even _talk_ to him.’

‘There will be time to use your anger,’ said Sun.

‘We’re boarding in a minute,’ said Nomi, close on her other side. ‘You’re not alone. We’ll all be there with you soon.’

‘Will we ever be free of him?’ Kala asked.

She felt Riley close by, her arms sliding around her waist and hugging her gently. ‘We fought him before and won. We’ll do it again. All of us.’

Kala’s insides calmed a little as she felt more of the cluster join her. Riley and Nomi were right; she wasn’t alone. 

Will felt the rest of the cluster join Kala to comfort her but he stayed away. Riley said he was still in shock and he supposed that made sense. He felt odd, strange and not quite himself.

He kept seeing Whispers’ face, feeling the memory of him hunting them, remembering the feeling of that evil man always being there. The memory was so strong, it was like it was happening all over again.

He wished he could connect with Wolfgang. Perhaps he could understand was what going on if they could.

But it was impossible for now. But there had to be something he could do. He rubbed his hand over his face. He wished he could get his head clear. His thoughts felt so muddled and he was reminded of the confusion he’d felt just after his Sensate birth. He couldn’t get his own thoughts straight in his head.

The only thing clear in his own mind was the image of Whispers’ piercing blue gaze fixed on him.


	32. Chapter 32

Left alone, Wolfgang turned off the scenery on the walls. He went over to the corner of the room behind the sofa, where he knew he couldn’t be seen from the observation window. There could be cameras on him but he trusted that River would have told him if there were.

He sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts but he knew he wasn’t. He craved that emptiness in his mind, that clarity he’d once had. Once, his life had been so simple; steal what he needed, hang out with his friend, go out drinking and fucking, and never think about things he didn’t want to think about.

Now, he still didn’t want to think about it but he knew it was there. He knew he was not really alone.

_You’ll never be alone now. I will always be with you._

Wolfgang squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in his knees, wrapping his arms around himself.

‘No, no, go away. I don’t want you here.’

_I am inside you now. You can’t make me go away._

‘What do you want with me?’

_You might think you’re protecting them by being here but you’re not. You can’t escape me and neither can they._

‘Fuck off! Go away, I don’t want you here!’

‘Wolfgang?’ came a different voice, a voice he loved. He looked up and saw Rajan, a look of hurt on his face. ‘I’ll go if you want. I just brought you some things.’

Wolfgang was up in a second. ‘Scheiße.’ He crossed to him. ‘I didn’t mean you, Liebling,’ he said, cupping his cheek. He kissed him. ‘I always want to see you.’

Rajan smiled, the hurt fading away from his eyes. He put the bag down on the floor. ‘I brought you some toiletries and clothes. Oh and that book you were reading. _Irgend es gut_ or something.’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘Irgendwann Wird es Gut. Sometime it will be good.’

‘Er, yeah, that one.’

‘Manche Leute sind nicht klug genug, um nervös zu sein.’

Rajan screwed up his face, trying to work out the meaning from what Wolfgang had taught him about the language. ‘Something about intelligent people being nervous?’

Wolfgang laughed gently. ‘Some people are not smart enough to be nervous. It’s my favourite line from one of the short stories. It’s about this girl who is nervous about speaking in front of her class. Her teacher tells her that. I’ve always liked that line. It feels apt.’

Rajan nodded, considering him for a moment. Then he looked around. ‘Where’s Felix?’

‘I sent him home.’

Rajan narrowed his eyes at him. ‘Why?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘He doesn’t need to be here. I’m the only one who needs to be here.’ He crossed to the sofa and sat down.

Rajan followed him, trailing his hand across his shoulders as he sat beside him. ‘I don’t like the idea of you being here on your own.’

Wolfgang shrugged again. ‘I’m fine. I’ve been in worse places.’

‘Doesn’t mean you have to suffer this alone. Let the people who love you help you.’

‘I’m not alone,’ said Wolfgang, staring straight ahead. He felt Rajan’s eyes on him, but he kept his gaze resolutely ahead.

Rajan placed a gentle hand on the back of his neck. ‘Wolfie … you have to talk to me, my love.’

Wolfgang frowned. ‘He’s in my head, all the ti…’

_Be quiet. You do not mention my name._

Wolfgang pressed his lips together and shook his head.

Rajan massaged the back of his neck. Wolfgang closed his eyes, leaning into the familiar, soft touch of his lover and wishing he could just stop all this, just let it all go. But that voice was too insistent to ignore.

‘What is it, Wolfgang?’

He shook his head again, leaning forward away from that soft, comforting touch. ‘No, it’s nothing. I’m fine.’ He glanced back at Rajan, who was frowning at hm. ‘Don’t worry.’

‘How can I not, my love? You’re locked in this fancy BPO dungeon with a dead psychopath in your head.’

Wolfgang didn’t reply. He got up, striding over to the bag Rajan had brought and taking it over to the bed. He rooted through it, taking out the book and a toiletry bag the Rajan had packed for him. In the bag were also several shirts, underwear, jeans and a pair of pyjamas. Rajan’s pyjamas.

Rajan stepped up behind him. ‘I thought you might want to wear something in bed while you’re here and you don’t seem to own a single pair of your own.’

Wolfgang smiled a little, though he knew he wouldn’t wear them. ‘Thanks.’ He sent half a glance at Rajan as his lover’s hand came to rest on the small of his back. ‘How did Kala and the others take the news?’

Rajan hesitated, then sat on the bed so he could look at Wolfgang. ‘They’re upset, of course, but they understand what’s going on, probably better than I do.’ He smiled. ‘They’re going to come to visit you. And the rest of the cluster are flying in.’

Wolfgang felt a sinking feeling in his chest and he rubbed his hands over his face. ‘They really don’t need to.’

Rajan scoffed. ‘Do you really think your cluster are going to let you rot in here? No, they’re all coming and they’re going to have this sorted out in no time.’ He reached out and tugged Wolfgang close, standing him in between his knees. ‘You’ll be out of here soon, I promise.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘I won’t go anywhere until it’s completely safe.’

Rajan looked up into his face. ‘That’s what I’m telling you, Wolfie. We will make it safe. You’ve got us all with you on this, all right?’

Slowly, Wolfgang nodded, then he pulled away. ‘I think you need to go back to Kala now. I don’t want her to feel alone.’

Rajan stood, taking a step towards him. ‘She’s not alone. She’s got the cluster with her.’

Wolfgang bit his lip, thinking about Will, about that brief moment of eye contact. Was that enough? He’d been connected to Whispers before. Was that how it worked? He reached out and cupped the back of Rajan’s neck. ‘Just look after her, okay? Kala above anybody else. She _has_ to stay safe.’

Rajan took his hand and squeezed it. ‘I’ll keep her safe. It’s going to be okay, Wolfgang. There’s just one of him against all the rest of us. He couldn’t win before. He can’t win now.’

Wolfgang held his lover’s gaze for a moment, then pulled away. ‘Just keep Kala safe.’

He sat at the table and didn’t say anything else. He felt Rajan look at him for a moment, then sigh. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow. Try not to worry, Wolfgang.’

He heard Rajan leave and he swallowed down the words he wanted to say to him.

_Do what you like, Wolfgang, but you can’t keep them safe from me. I’m already with them._


	33. Chapter 33

Wolfgang’s chest ached with sadness as he got ready for bed. He’d showered and put on fresh boxer shorts and cleaned his teeth in the little bathroom. He was planning on settling in bed, reading his book and trying to relax. But he couldn’t deny his loneliness.

He hated being away from Kala and Rajan and cut off from his cluster. It didn’t feel natural after all this time spent together. He’d always prided himself on never needing anyone but he knew now that wasn’t true. He needed his lovers; he needed his cluster; he needed his friends.

He walked across to the bed. At the bedside, he hesitated, then reached in and pulled out Rajan’s pyjama top. He brought it to his face and breathed in. It smelled clean and fresh, like their washing powder, but also slightly of Rajan’s cologne and Kala’s soap. The scent was like home.

He climbed into bed, still clutching the pyjama top. He felt so far away from them but the scent of home made him feel a little less far. He pulled the covers over himself, creating a cocoon beneath the blankets.

He felt so tired suddenly, like he’d been carrying round a heavy weight all day. His limbs ached and his mind felt fuzzy. He closed his eyes, ready to sink into the peace of sleep. Perhaps he might dream of them.

_‘Look at me. You can’t escape me. Look at me.’_

_The voice goes through him, invading every part of him, body and mind._

_‘Don’t look at him. That’s how he got me.’_

_Fear shoots through him and he can’t breathe. He needs to run, needs to get away. But a hard hand closes on his ankle, pulling him in. He is yanked backwards, turned roughly._

_And those piercing blue eyes bore into him. He cannot escape them._

Will woke with a gasp. He glanced quickly at Riley, but she was still sleeping. He looked around. It was still dark, probably the middle of the night. He slipped out of bed and headed outside. He thought of the many times he’d felt Wolfgang doing this, going out to the balcony to clear his head in the middle of the night after a bad dream. Wolfgang usually smoked though. Will understood the urge.

The night air was cool on his clammy skin. He leaned against the rail and looked out across Paris. He looked in the direction of the BPO building, where Wolfgang was locked up. Was he sleeping? Or was he lying awake, wishing he could come home?

He looked around and suddenly he was in a dimly lit room. The walls were lit with images of the galaxy, stars shining around the room. He saw a bed, with someone lying in it, asleep. He couldn’t feel anything from them.

He took a step closer and frowned as he saw the face. It was a face he knew. He felt a stab of hate and anger as he looked upon the familiar features. This was the one who had ruined everything. This was the man who had turned all his plans to ashes. This was the man whose strength he had to take.

His enemy’s eyes opened and their gazes met for a brief moment. Wolfgang jerked up in alarm, his eyes widening as he looked at him.

Will glared at him, feeling the hate and anger well inside him. He turned, pulling himself away from the room and finding himself back on the balcony.

He frowned, the hate and anger giving way to confusion. He rubbed a hand over his face, wiping away the sheen of sweat on his forehead. He shook his head, trying to clear it. It was Wolfgang but he hadn’t felt like Wolfgang. Or rather, Will hadn’t felt the way connecting with his friend, clustermate and sometime-lover usually made him feel.

Unsettled, he returned to the bedroom, seeking the comfort of Riley’s embrace. But when he got there, he found he didn’t want to get in bed with her. He wanted to be alone.

He quickly got dressed and went downstairs. He would sit on the sofa and watch some late-night TV and try not to think.

Wolfgang stared at the place where Whispers had been standing, staring at him. He shuddered. He hadn’t seen him so clearly since he’d been hooked up to Dacian’s machine. He’d heard him as a voice in his head, but that had been as far as it went.

Was he getting stronger now? Was he taking over Wolfgang’s head even more? Was he sapping his strength even now?

Wolfgang pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his arms, trying to block out the memory of the feel of Whispers crowding him.

How could he be getting stronger still? The machine wasn’t here and there were no Sensates for him to feed off. There was only Wolfgang and his memories, and whatever was left of Dacian.

Maybe Wolfgang needed to see his erstwhile captor. He was frightened to but maybe it had to happen. Maybe it was the only way to work out what to do to defeat Whispers forever.

But perhaps he would wait. Perhaps when the rest of the cluster had arrived, they would know what to do. Maybe Nomi would be able to work out something about the machine, or the BPO scientists would work something out.

Maybe it wasn’t just up to him. Maybe they could help. But he was so used to handling things himself, it was difficult to accept that. He didn’t want his burdens to become theirs.

He wished he could talk to Will. He always knew what to do. He always had a plan. Maybe he already knew what to do and Wolfgang just had to wait for the plan to be put into place.

Whatever the plan was, he could only hope they would do it soon. If Whispers was getting stronger, who knew how long it could be before he was unstoppable.


	34. Chapter 34

Wolfgang didn’t sleep well for the rest of the night. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Whispers, staring at him with hate in those cold blue eyes. At around six, he gave up and got up. He lingered in the shower, letting the hot water cleanse him, washing his worries away, at least for a little while.

Once he was clean and dressed in fresh jeans and a shirt, he sat on his sofa and tried to read his book. He couldn’t get into it and, at about seven, he gave up and put the book down.

An operative came in with his breakfast. He grimaced. It was like hospital food, soft and bland. Slightly over-scrambled eggs on soggy toast.

The operative, a tall, slim but well-muscled young man, placed his breakfast tray on the table, before bidding him good morning. 

‘I want to speak to River,’ Wolfgang said.

‘Of course, Sir,’ said the operative with a smile. ‘I will let her know as soon as she comes in this morning.’

‘Danke,’ Wolfgang said, feeling a little odd about being addressed as Sir.

The operative left him alone again and Wolfgang felt that now-familiar ache of loneliness in his chest. Fuck, he’d do anything for a bit of company, even chat with a BPO operative. But he was alone again.

He ate his breakfast and thought about Rajan’s cooking. He wondered if any of the cluster were there yet. Probably not Lito yet because he was in the last days of his latest film. Maybe Sun and Nomi were there already. It could be difficult for Capheus to get away but he knew he would try.

Part of him wanted to get a message to his cluster to go home and stay the hell away from this. But the rest of him wanted them to break out their past skills and sort all this out. If anyone could do it, they could.

But he wasn’t going to just sit here and let them do all the work. He was going to do what he could. He had to speak to Dacian.

About an hour later, his door opened and his guard showed River inside. She gave Wolfgang one of her gentle smiles and sat beside him on the sofa. ‘I was told you wanted to speak to me.’ 

‘Yeah. I want to speak to Dacian.’

River frowned. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea. If your theory is right…’

‘I have to do something. I can’t just let this happen.’ He could hear the tension in his own voice, despite his attempts to control it.

‘I was going to ask you how you are but I can see you are not coping well. Perhaps we could put you on blockers and escort you outside for some fresh air.’

Wolfgang shook his head rapidly. ‘It’s not fresh air I need.’

She gave him a sympathetic smile. ‘I understand. You miss your cluster. I’m sure they will visit you today.’

‘Probably but first I need to see Dacian.’

River shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Wolfgang, but I do not think that would be a good idea.’ She hesitated, searching his face. ‘We have … confirmed that … there is another brain wave pattern in Dacian’s mind.’

‘How can you tell?’

She hesitated and he could see her tension in her shoulders. ‘We have records of his brainwave patterns going back several years.’

He stared at her as that information sank in and his mind connected the dots. ‘You knew him.’

Her gaze dropped and she nodded.

‘How? How did you know him?’

She looked up again. ‘He was a member of staff, under the Chairman. He was one of our doctors.’

‘Was?’ 

‘A lot of our staff left after the chairman was killed. He was one of them.’

‘And you just let him go?’

‘Nobody is forced to work here, Wolfgang.’

Wolfgang stood up, his insides surging with anger. ‘This guy kidnapped me. He fucking tortured me, making me live through the worst fucking shit I’ve been through, and you let him go?’

River stood, taking a step away from him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the operative re-enter the room.

Wolfgang took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He turned away, focusing all his attention on keeping his cool.

‘I want to see Dacian,’ he said, through gritted teeth.

Behind him, he heard River sigh. ‘I can’t let you see him, Wolfgang. Not until we know more of what’s going on. It’s not safe.’

He turned and looked at her. He still felt anger and frustration crowding his insides but, logically, he knew she was right. They had to be sure it was safe.

He flopped back on the sofa and stared at the blank TV. He felt River watching him for a moment, then she turned away and left him alone.

When Riley woke, she was surprised to find herself alone. She hadn’t heard Will get up. Normally, he liked to kiss her awake in the morning if he woke first. They snuggled, or made love, or talked first thing in the morning, until one of them went to make coffee.

She knew that sometimes he had nightmares but he always woke her, or snuggled up to her, holding on until she woke herself. He never just left.

Worried, she got up and dressed, before she headed downstairs. The lights were off but she could feel Will. As she moved further into the room, she could see the TV flickering, illuminating Will huddled up on the sofa. He wasn’t asleep, but staring blankly at the TV.

‘Will?’ she called softly.

He looked at her, then quickly away. He huddled tighter. Riley frowned, worry tightening her belly. She went over, perching on the sofa beside him and slipping her arm around his shoulders.

‘What is it, Will?’

He didn’t look at her but she could see tears in his eyes.

‘Did you have a nightmare?’ she pressed.

He shook his head. ‘No. It was after I woke up.’

‘What happened, elskan min?’

He retreated further into himself. ‘I think I connected with Wolfgang.’

‘Is that a bad thing?’

‘Yeah,’ he croaked. He turned to look at her and she saw fear in his eyes. ‘Because I don’t think it was him.’

Riley frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

Will shook his head. ‘I looked at him and … all I could see was an enemy, someone I hated.’

She tugged him close, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close. ‘It’s going to be all right,’ she murmured. ‘The others will be here soon and we’ll work it out, all right? Whatever’s going on, we’ll fix it together.’

Will didn’t reply, just held on tight to her. She could feel his fear and his worry, but also his trust in her. She held him tight and wondered what the fuck they were going to do now.


	35. Chapter 35

Sun watched the clouds beneath the airplane window, stretching as she woke herself properly ready for the business class breakfast which would arrive soon. Kwan-Ho was still sleeping beside her. She’d told him he didn’t have to come, but he’d just given her that disarming smile of his and said,

‘Wherever you need me, I’ll be there Ms Bak.’

She’d rolled her eyes but smiled. They’d become so close over the past year but he still liked to tease her with that pretend formality.

She hadn’t told him how worried she was, though she thought he probably knew. He knew she wasn’t one for being fussed over. She’d rather just get on and do something.

She glanced at the screen tracking their progress. Another couple of hours and they’d be landing. A couple of hours after that, she’d be with the others. She could feel their worry, all mixed up with her own. Will’s was the strongest; it always was strong and mixed with a deep sense of responsibility. She could also feel how much he missed Wolfgang.

She understood that. She missed him too. She often turned to him when she felt nervous and he turned to her. They shared a common understanding of the world. They understood both its violence and its beauty. They understood that love and violence both had their place in the world.

They had become used to working out together, to experiencing the strength and the vulnerability in a fight, the same way they understood it in sex.

When he’d been kidnapped, she had still felt something from him, an echo or a vague response somewhere in her mind. But now? There was nothing. It was as if he had dropped out of existence. If it hadn’t been hearing Rajan’s visits relayed to Kala, Riley and Will, she might have thought him dead already.

She thought back to the feelings she had sensed from him after his rescue. They had been confused, mixed up. It was a little like when he’d been having his breakdown but also... different. There was an undercurrent of something. She was reminded of her brother; that vein of danger deep inside him, hidden for so long behind a face she loved.

But Wolfgang wasn’t bad. She felt how much he cared about people, how he’d do anything for those he loved. She felt that same goodness inside him that Kala talked about. They all did. But when he’d emerged from that first captivity, there had been something else there.

She thought back to that moment Will had seen Whispers instead of Wolfgang. They didn’t really understand what it meant but somehow something of Whispers was in Wolfgang and she didn’t mind admitting to herself that that scared the shit out of her.

If Whispers was inside Wolfgang, if he shared his consciousness in some way, how could Wolfgang ever be safe again? How could they get him back? Would this be the end of their cluster of eight?

Beside her, Kwan-ho stirred and sat up. He stretched, yawning. ‘Is it morning?’

‘Yes.’

He looked around, clearly hoping for the breakfast trolley. There was no sign of it yet.

He fiddled with the settings of his seat until it was upright again and took a long drink from his water bottle, then yawned again before he spoke. ‘I guess we’re a couple of hours out. Where are the others?’

Sun checked. Capheus was sitting on his plane watching movies next to a sleeping Zakia. Nomi and Amanita were boarding, and Lito was instructing Hernando on which three seats to book for the next day.

‘We will land first,’ she said.

‘I bet they will be glad to see us. They will all be worried. How are you?’

‘Worried. There are things going on here that we do not understand. I’m not sure there will be a solution we will like.’

‘You’re afraid about what’s going to happen to Wolfgang.’

‘I am afraid about what’s going to happen to all of us.’

She knew she didn’t need to explain what she meant. He always understood. He knew what her strongest fear was; if one of them was killed she wasn’t sure the rest of them could survive it. Their shared pain, their shared grief, the hole in their oneness. Even Whispers himself hadn’t been able to bear that, and she still felt Angelica’s grief for her lost clusters echoing inside her. How could any of them bear that?

The door to his fancy cell opened suddenly. Wolfgang flinched, tensing and immediately alert, as always when something unexpected happened. His father had taught him to be prepared for the unexpected.

An operative came in, a different one than before. This one was older, with wrinkles and grey in his hair, and he didn’t smile. His temples were tense and his eyes cold. Wolfgang was immediately on alert.

He stood, moving into a more open space, just in case. The operative smiled at him but his cold eyes were unchanged.

‘Come with me,’ he said.

Wolfgang was not eager to do that. He flashed back to Sun being taken from her cell to be murdered and his heart thudded. They had got her out then but he was alone here. No one was going to help him.

‘Where do you want to take me?’ he asked, partly as a way to stall.

‘Come with me.’ The man’s voice sounded like he was used to being obeyed without question and the tightness in his voice told Wolfgang that was not entirely pleased by the lack of such obedience now.

‘I’m not going anywhere until I know where I’m going.’

_Yes you will. You need to go now. Follow my man or I will start to kill. I don’t need them when I have you._

‘You can’t do anything,’ he said to the voice in his head. ‘You’re dead.’

_He is already further under my control than he realises. Her white throat is so pretty under his touch. He could grip harder, have her gasping for breath. He might enjoy that. I know I will. I love to feel the life seep out of a person. Such a shame you won’t be able to feel it down here. You don’t be able to help either._

Dread crept over Wolfgang and he knew it could be done. He knew he had no choice but he didn’t have to like it.

‘Fine. I’ll come with you. But I still want to know where I’m going.’

The operative smiled slowly and there was a little of the man Wolfgang feared in that slow, dangerous smile.

‘You’re getting what you want. We’re going to see Dacian.’


	36. Chapter 36

Wolfgang had no weapons, nothing but his fists and his wits to defend himself. He would be ready. He was prepared for anything.

He was aware his escort had a gun on him; he’d heard it click. He knew he had no choices here. He could only react.

He wished he had Sun’s calm. His heart was racing and he knew he could react on a hair trigger. He wished he had Will’s ability to know what to ask, to know how to persuade someone to give up their truth. Here, he was about to attempt to question Dacian but he had no idea how to go about it. He guessed his go-to response of violence would not be helpful. Would he even be allowed to question Dacian? Or did this operative have something else in mind?

The operative led him down several identical white corridors, to a room similar to Wolfgang’s, except there was no screen, only books. Lots of books. But Dacian wasn’t reading any of the books. He was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees and staring blankly ahead of him. There was another operative on the door. The two exchanged nods and Dacian’s door was unlocked.

The gun was pressed into Wolfgang’s back and he bristled. ‘You don’t need to threaten me. I’ve asked to come here.’

The operative didn’t reply, just pushed the gun into his back. Wolfgang clenched his fists but held himself calm and didn’t bite, just like Sun would advise. _Save your strength for when you need it_. He could almost hear her saying it.

He walked into the room. Dacian looked up at him. His face was bruised and swollen and Wolfgang winced as he remembered punching the man. Their eyes met. Wolfgang felt a sharp pressure in his mind and he was reminded of the migraine he’d had at his cluster birth.

The door was shut firmly behind him and they were left alone.

Dacian was still watching him. Wolfgang took a few steps forward, slowly and carefully. He didn’t want to startle him; he looked like a nervous caged animal. He didn’t once take his eyes off Wolfgang.

Again, he wished Will was with him. He’d know how to not spook him, how to get the information from him. But Will couldn’t help him now, not the way things were. He was on his own here.

‘Will you talk to me?’ Wolfgang asked.

‘Susurrans in tenebris. Revertetur in tenebris.’

Wolfgang’s jaw flexed. ‘Talk in a language I can understand.’

Dacian blinked. ‘You understand because he understands.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘I’m not letting him in. He won’t control me.’

Dacian buried his head in his knees again. ‘You’re strong but no one can resist him.’

‘You’re still you, aren’t you?’

Dacian shook his head. ‘Only when he lets me.’ His voice broke. ‘He’s there, all the time, in my head. I can hear his thoughts, his instructions all the time. There’s this pressure in my head, this pain.’

Wolfgang’s breath caught in his throat. He understood the pressure. He understood hearing that voice.

Wolfgang crouched down in front of Dacian. ‘How do we stop him?’

Dacian looked up. ‘You can’t. You can’t stop him. He’s already claimed someone else. Your eye contact was all it took, because they had already been connected in life.’

Wolfgang’s heart sank. He’d suspected it but to have it confirmed… and he was out there, with the others. And more of them were coming.

‘There has to be some way we can stop him.’

Dacian shook his head. ‘Not unless everyone connected dies.’

Wolfgang stared at him. ‘No way. That is not happening. There must be another way.’

Suddenly Dacian’s expression hardened and Wolfgang’s blood went cold as he recognised it. He felt the voice in his own head at the same time as he heard it coming from Dacian’s mouth.

‘There is nothing you can do. It’s too late. I’m here.’

Before he could back away, Dacian reached out and grabbed his arm. He looked into his eyes and Wolfgang felt pain pressing at his head. He tried to pull away but Dacian’s grip was strong and he felt weak. He was feeling weaker by the second. Fuck, he shouldn’t be here.

With a surge of desperation, he wrenched himself free, his heart hammering. He overbalanced and fell backwards onto his backside. He scrambled to his feet and crossed to the door. He hammered on it.

‘Get me out of here. Get me the fuck out.’

The door opened and the operative dragged him out. He smiled at Wolfgang and he suddenly got the feeling that what had happened in the cell was exactly what was supposed to happen.

He wanted out, he wanted to get back to his cluster but, too weak to resist, he was taken back to his own cell. He was thrown inside and the door locked again behind him.

For a while, he stayed there, too weak to drag himself to his feet. But his mind was racing. How could this have happened? Could that one look between them, that one moment of their eyes meeting have been enough to infect him?

Wolfgang dragged himself into a sitting position, feeling at a loss. His go-to solution of violence wasn’t going to help here. He needed his cluster. They’d said they were going to visit as soon as they could. He needed Nomi’s logic, Sun’s calm and Kala’s intelligence. He needed Riley’s determination and Will’s ability to follow the clues and figure out a plan. He needed Lito’s understanding of people, and Capheus’s courage. He needed his cluster, but he couldn’t get to any of them.

He picked himself up and sat on the sofa. He had to work this out himself, work out what to do next. River hadn’t wanted him to see Dacian, because he himself had said it was dangerous, and it had proved to be so. So who were those operatives who had taken him to see him and who exactly were they working for?


	37. Chapter 37

Kala woke alone and her heart sank. Over the past year, she’d got used to waking with one if not both of her lovers beside her, or if they’d both woken early, Wolfgang would return to her as soon as he felt her stirring. He’d wake her with a gentle kiss, his rough stubble tickling her cheek but his lips so soft against hers.

But now she couldn’t even feel him. She couldn’t stand it. She was going to go to see him that morning, no matter what anyone said about it. She would go on blockers and she would go to see him.

She couldn’t bear being apart from him like this, couldn’t bear the thought of him alone in that room. She just knew his thoughts would be driving him mad. He wasn’t the sort of person to enjoy sitting about inside all the time. He liked to be out and about, doing things. To manage his anxiety, he needed to swim, go kickboxing, go on a run. Sitting in that room with only the TV or books to read, he’d be going crazy.

She missed him so much. She missed the scent of him, the sound of him singing as he cooked or cleaned. She missed the softness of his kisses, the taste of strong coffee in his mouth. She missed the way he looked at her, the way his gaze softened as it met hers. She missed the heat of him in bed with her, and his willingness to let her warm her cold feet on his calves in the middle of the night. She missed his gentle roughness as they made love. She missed that undeniable connection between them, that feeling of rightness when they were together.

She got up, showered and dressed before going downstairs. The others were all up. Riley was in the kitchen, helping Rajan cook breakfast. Will was on the window seat, staring outside with a distant expression on his face. She felt a twinge for him. She knew how worried he was about Wolfgang.

Rajan looked across at her and gave her a gentle smile. ‘Good morning, my love. I thought you could do with the lie in after the night you had.’

She winced; she knew she’d kept him up tossing and turning last night. Mind you, she supposed he hadn’t found sleep easy either.

‘It helped a little,’ she said. ‘Good morning, Riley. How did you sleep?’

Riley smiled at her. ‘Not brilliantly. Neither did Will. He was up early.’

‘I think we should all go to see Wolfgang this morning,’ Kala said.

Riley glanced across at the clock. ‘Sun’s plane lands in less than an hour. We could wait until then and go together.’

Kala sighed. ‘I suppose I can wait that long.’

Riley squeezed her gently. ‘I know how hard this is. But we’ll get him out soon. It won’t be long.’

Kala took a deep breath. ‘I just want him to be all right.’

‘We’re all in this together,’ said Riley and Kala felt Sun, Capheus, Lito and Nomi with them briefly. She frowned and glanced over at Will. She couldn’t feel him.

‘He’s distracted,’ said Riley. ‘I think he had a bad dream.’

Kala frowned; she could feel Riley wasn’t quite telling the truth, that there was something more she was keeping to herself. ‘Riley, if there’s something you know.’

Riley shook her head. ‘It’s nothing really. I think he’s just worried. It’s just …’

‘What?’

Riley lowered her voice. ‘He said something odd this morning and I can’t work out what he means.’

‘What did he say?’

‘That he’d seen Wolfgang but … he felt like he was looking at an enemy.’

Kala frowned. ‘What does that mean?’

Riley shook her head. ‘The only thing I can think is that he was seeing Whispers again. But nothing about this makes sense.’

Kala nodded, her chest feeling tight. How could they make this better if they didn’t even understand what it was all about?

Sun and Kwan-Ho arrived not long after they’d eaten breakfast. Will hadn’t eaten, hadn’t even moved from the window seat, despite Riley’s urging. Even when Sun arrived, he didn’t move.

Kala and Riley greeted Sun with relieved hugs. The more of them were together, the stronger they felt. And Sun was strong.

‘How is your jetlag?’ Kala asked.

Sun shrugged. ‘Business class is comfortable. We slept well.’ She glanced at Kwan-ho. ‘Some of us more than others.’ Her lips twitch in the hint of a smile.

‘I want to go to visit Wolfgang,’ Kala said.

Sun nodded. ‘He will be missing us. Prison is lonely.’

‘Technically, it’s protective custody,’ said Rajan.

Sun shrugged. ‘A cell is a cell.’

Rajan exchanged glances with Kala, then he turned on his host smile. ‘I’ll show you your room. You can freshen up before we go.’

Sun and Kwan-ho followed Rajan upstairs.

‘Sun’s right,’ said Kala. ‘He’s got to feel so alone. We can’t leave him like that.’

‘Kala, we’re going to him,’ said Riley. ‘You just have to hold on a little longer.’ 

‘I have to go to him, I can’t leave him alone there.’ She visited Sun, who was putting her case down in one of the spare bedrooms. ‘How long will you be?’

‘Just a few moments,’ said Sun, patiently.

Kala paced the living room, unable to keep her mind off Wolfgang. It felt so strange to think of him and not immediately be with him, be drawn to him. She felt cut off from him, kept from him.

She couldn’t do it anymore. She had to go to him.

‘I don’t think we should go,’ said Will.

Kala and Riley turned to him. Will had stood and was looking at Kala. There was something hard about his expression that she didn’t like. It was such a foreign expression that she felt like she was looking at a stranger.

‘What do you mean, Will?’ Riley asked, her voice soft.

Will didn’t even glance at her. His gaze was fixed on Kala. She swallowed, her stomach twisting.

‘I’m going to see him, Will.’

‘It’s too dangerous,’ he said. His voice was calm and measured but so cool it made her shudder. She saw Sun, Kwan-ho and Rajan coming down the stairs, ready to go out.

‘I don’t care about the danger. I’m going to see Wolfgang. He needs us.’ She moved towards the front door, determination filling her.

Will moved so quickly, she didn’t see him coming. He grabbed her wrist tight, flinging her against the wall. She heard Riley shout, then felt pain in her head as it struck the door.

‘You’re not fucking going anywhere.’

Kala got a brief glimpse of Will’s furious face, before Sun was there. In one swift movement, she had Will off her and on the floor. The two struggled for a few seconds, then Will got free and stormed out of the balcony door. Riley moved to Kala’s side, followed by Rajan.

‘Are you okay?’ asked Riley. She was shaking.

‘Are you hurt, my love?’ asked Rajan, his brow creased with concern.

Kala rubbed her wrist, then reached back to touch the back of her head. She wasn’t bleeding but it felt tender. But she wasn’t going to stay around here. She was going to see Wolfgang.

‘I’m fine. I’m going to see Wolfgang. Anyone who wants to come, come now.’

She turned and walked out the door. She felt Riley glance towards Will, then follow her, along with Sun, Rajan and Kwan-ho. Will didn’t move from the balcony.


	38. Chapter 38

Rajan drove them to BPO. Kala could see his tension, just as she could feel the shock and concern of the others in the car. Kwan-Ho was in the front with Rajan, but Riley and Sun were either side of her, holding her hands. Riley was still with shock, while Sun kept checking Kala’s wrist and the bump on her head.

‘I’m fine,’ Kala said, wincing at the tension in her own voice.

‘Why would he do this?’ Riley whispered.

Kala felt her disbelief and shared it as what had happened sank in. Will, _Will_ , had grabbed her and thrown her against the wall. _Will_ had twisted her wrist and hit her head against the wall.

When Wolfgang found out, he would be furious. Understandably, violence towards women was a big trigger point for him, even if it was strangers. But involving people he loved? She swallowed, a jolt of fear going through her. He’d want to kill Will. He’d do anything to keep her safe.

They had to keep it from him, at least for the moment. But none of this made any sense. The Will she knew would never have done that. The Will she knew would never hurt any of them, no matter what, no matter how afraid he was, he wouldn’t hurt any of them.

Beside her, she felt Riley gasp. She turned to look at her. Riley’s soft brown eyes were wide with fear as she looked back at her.

‘That’s not Will,’ they whispered.

Sun leaned in. ‘He fought like Will, but I felt something different too. I agree, he’s not Will.’

‘How can he not be Will?’ Rajan asked from the driver’s seat. ‘What are we talking about here? Some sort of bodyswap? Like the Bolger thing?’

Kala shook her head helplessly. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know what could have happened. He can’t be a bolger; he’s not had surgery. Maybe he’s connected to someone else and they took over.’ She rubbed her hand over her face. ‘I don’t think we should tell Wolfgang what Will did. He’d be so angry…’

‘He’d find out eventually, Kala. As soon as he’s connected to you all, he’d know wouldn’t he?’

‘If he thinks Will did this, he’ll kill him,’ said Kala. ‘We’ll just wait until … until we understand what’s going on, until we can explain to Wolfgang that it wasn’t Will.’

Nobody replied but she could feel their agreement. She hated having to keep things from Wolfgang and it went against all her instincts but they couldn’t risk anyone getting hurt before they figured out what was happening.

After their liquid blockers had been administered, one of the operatives they’d met before took them downstairs. Kala was nervous, her heart hammering in her chest and she tried to breathe evenly, trying to calm herself down. Otherwise, Wolfgang would take one look at her and know something was wrong.

Beside her, Riley was also breathing slowly and deliberately. Kala reached out and took her hand. Riley squeezed gratefully. They reached Wolfgang’s room and the door was opened. 

The five of them stepped inside. Wolfgang was huddled on the sofa. When he heard the door, he looked up. His eyes widened and he was up in a second.

He stumbled. Rajan reached for him and caught him as his knees buckled. ‘Steady. You all right?’ he asked.

Wolfgang nodded, holding onto Rajan and blinking rapidly as he steadied himself. ‘I’m fine.’ He looked up and met Kala’s eyes. He smiled at her and his eyes softened in that way they always did when he looked at her. ‘Hi.’

She gave him a warm smile. ‘Hi.’ She stepped towards him, nervous but desperate to hold him. He reached for her and pulled her into a close hug. She held onto him, focusing on his strong arms around her, the familiar scent of him, the warmth of him.

After a moment, he pulled back to look at her. ‘It’s so good to see you,’ he murmured.

‘It feels like months,’ she said.

He nodded, smiling. He reached out for Riley and hugged her, then Sun. He shook Kwan-Ho’s hand, then glanced around. ‘Where’s Will?’

Kala glanced at Riley and she felt Rajan tense beside her. Wolfgang took them all in in a second.

‘What’s happened?’ he asked, his voice tight.

‘Nothing,’ said Kala. ‘Will just didn’t think it was safe to come. We disagreed.’ Her wrist throbbed, and, reflexively, she rubbed it. She realised too late that Wolfgang’s gaze had followed her action and he was staring at her, trembling with anger.

‘I’ll fucking kill him,’ Wolfgang growled. He started pacing, his fists clenched. Despite the blockers, they could all feel his anger pulsing in him.

Riley let out an anguished cry. ‘Wolfgang, he didn’t mean to hurt her. He was angry. He’s been so worried. We … we don’t think he’s himself right now.’

‘You’re fucking right, he’s not himself. I’m going to fucking kill the bastard. Again.’

Riley, Sun and Kala frowned at each other, before Kala took a step closer to Wolfgang and laid her hand on his arm, easing him to a stop. ‘What do you mean, Wolfgang?’

Wolfgang looked darkly at her. ‘It wasn’t Will who hurt you. It was Whispers.’

They stared at him, then Rajan shook his head. ‘How can that be, Wolfgang?’

Wolfgang glanced at him, then pulled away and started pacing again. ‘I’m trying to work it out. I haven’t got it all yet.’

‘Wolfgang, you said Whispers was in _your_ head, and Dacian’s,’ said Rajan. ‘What does that mean?’

‘I don’t understand it completely but we know he wanted immortality. I think this is how he’s trying to get it. He exists in Dacian’s brain, I don’t know how it got there, but he’s driving his actions. All that shit in the cellar was him trying to infiltrate my mind and now … I think it was my eye contact let him into Will’s mind.’

‘But … you’ve had eye contact with us all,’ said Riley.

‘But only Will was connected to Whispers while he was alive. Dacian said that’s how he connects.’

‘You have seen Dacian?’ Sun asked. ‘Was that safe?’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No, but I had no choice. I was … taken.’ He glanced around and pressed his mouth shut in a thin line. ‘I’d better not say.’

‘What can we do, Wolfgang?’ Riley asked.

‘Talk to River and only River. If Will is infected, he needs to be locked up or put on blockers. I think he’d be safe then. When Nomi gets in, ask to see the machine Dacian used. See what she makes of it.’ He looked at Rajan and Kala and gave them both a reassuring smile. ‘Don’t worry, I’m resisting Whispers. You know I’m stubborn.’

Rajan reached out and took his hand. ‘We’ll get you out of here, Wolfgang.’

Wolfgang squeezed his hand. ‘Tell River I need to talk to her, in private. Then I’ll be able to get out of here.’

Kala went to him and the three of them held each other. She closed her eyes and breathed in her lovers. For a moment, she could be at home with them, with nothing to worry about. But reality pressed too close and she could no longer ignore it. They had to act. They had to stop Whispers, then they’d be able to be together. 


	39. Chapter 39

Will sat staring at his shaking hands. He remembered feeling angry, but not the usual hot red rage which burned away quickly. This was a cold, white anger, the kind of fury that came when people battled against your rightful control.

He remembered just one thought filling his mind. ‘Do not let them see Wolfgang.’

But he’d failed. That bitch had fought him. He frowned. Who was he thinking about? Sun? But why had he used that word about her? That wasn’t a word he used.

She’d dragged him off Kala. That’s why. She’d stopped him doing what needed to be done.

But Kala? What had he done to Kala? He remembered seeing her beautiful face twisted with pain and fear. He remembered grabbing hold of her wrist, throwing her against the wall. He remembered Riley’s anguished cry.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He didn’t feel like himself. He wasn’t acting like himself. He’d have to try to explain to them, try to apologise for what he’d done. Wolfgang would be furious when he found out. How could they get past this? How could Kala, or any of them ever trust him again.

_They won’t_ , whispered a voice in his head. _They will never trust you ever again._

A sob choked him and tears rolled down his cheeks. The voice was right; his cluster would never trust him again. He had to get out. He had to take himself away from them. He wasn’t safe around them. 

_You have to leave, get away from your cluster. You’re not safe here._

He got up, decision made. He had to get out of there before any of them came back. He had to get far away from them.

That voice still whispering, encouraging him in his mind, Will pulled on his jacket and left the flat.

‘You need to get him out of that room,’ said Kala, storming into River’s office, followed by the others.

River looked up, startled. ‘Kala, Wolfgang asked to be put down there for his own safety, and everyone else’s.’

‘He’s not safe there, not anymore. Put him on blockers if you must but you have to let him out.’ Worry drove Kala’s anger and nobody else argued with her.

Sun stepped up beside her. ‘We have reason to believe Wolfgang is in danger.’

‘What reasons? I cannot simply release him. You as much as anyone know how dangerous Whispers is. If Wolfgang is right and Whispers has invaded his mind, I cannot release him. It would be too dangerous. This was all at Wolfgang’s suggestion.’

‘He wants to talk to you,’ said Rajan. ‘Privately. Perhaps he’ll persuade you.’

‘It is not a matter of persuasion. If Whispers is released onto the public, all Sensates could be at risk. I have to protect them.’

Kala glanced at Riley, who bit her lip and sighed before turning to River. ‘We think Will is infected too. We’re not sure how.’

‘Wolfgang said it was eye contact with him, because Will and Whispers had been connected before.’

River nodded slowly. ‘From what we know about the process, that makes sense.’

‘If eye contact was all it took, why kidnap Wolfgang and … do all that to him?’ asked Kala.

Rajan took her hand. ‘Wolfgang said he was taking his strength. Maybe that’s the difference.’

‘I will speak privately to Wolfgang,’ said River. ‘I need you to bring Will to me, if you can. He needs to be on blockers at least. I won’t risk any of you.’ She hesitated. ‘I would advise you all stay on blockers until this is dealt with.’

Wolfgang paced. He hated not knowing what was happening. He was used to being out there, able to take action, to do what had to be done. But here, he could do fuck all. He was completely powerless.

_Get used to it_ , said the mocking voice in his head. _There’s nothing you can do now. It’s too late._

‘Fuck off,’ said Wolfgang. ‘I’m not listening to you.’

_You can’t help but listen to me. I am with you now, always with you._

His body still felt weak but his anger was fuelling him. This fucking bastard had hurt Kala. He was going to pay. But how? He couldn’t exactly punch him out or shoot the motherfucker. He was in his head, and Will’s and Dacian’s. He wasn’t really there.

Except he was, and he was just as dangerous as ever.

The wave of sickness hit him suddenly and he stumbled. He reached out for the sofa to steady himself but missed. He crumpled to the floor, his head swimming. He stayed still, blinking deliberately.

His heart was racing and he felt a spike of anxiety in his belly. He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on his breathing. He had to keep calm. This was no time for a fucking panic attack.

‘Stop it, stop it,’ he told himself. ‘You’re fine.’

Cold laughter echoed in his head. _You’re weak, useless. You’re just like your father, no good for anything but fucking, fighting and drinking. You can’t save them. You can’t do anything._

Wolfgang couldn’t catch his breath. He clasped his hands over his ears, though he knew it wouldn’t help.

‘Shut up. Shut the fuck up, I’ll kill you.’

_You can’t get rid of me now. I’m in your mind, entwined with all those vivid bad memories of yours._

Wolfgang kept his eyes tightly closed, trying to imagine his cluster was there. They always helped him. They calmed him.

He heard Riley counting with him, felt Kala rubbing his back. He could hear Will telling him that everything was all right, that he was safe. It felt so real, he could almost believe it. He remembered Sun taking him through her workout routine, showing him how to breathe. So many times, he’d sat with Nomi, talking through the flashbacks. He’d cried with Lito or swam with him. He’d danced with Capheus, letting the Kenyan’s joy seep through his own body. He wasn’t Whispers. He was himself. He was his cluster.

He took a deep, steadying breath. ‘You’re not in control here,’ he said, firmly.

There was no answer from the voice.


	40. Chapter 40

‘Wolfgang?’ called a gentle voice.

Wolfgang looked up and frowned as he saw River. He shook his head to clear it and he remembered asking the others to request a meeting with her.

‘Are you all right?’ she asked.

He nodded, reaching for the sofa to drag himself up. She reached for his hand to help him up. He realised there was an operative with her, not one he knew. He tensed, watching him warily. River followed his gaze and frowned.

‘I’d like you to come up to my office, Wolfgang and have a talk with me. In private.’

He nodded. ‘I assume you want me to take a blocker.’

River turned and nodded at the operative. He stepped forward with a syringe. Wolfgang pulled up his shirt sleeve and allowed the operative to inject him.

They made their way up to River’s office without speaking. Wolfgang didn’t want to say anything in front of the operative. He didn’t trust anyone.

He was relieved when River showed him into her office alone and shut the door behind them. 

‘Please sit down, Wolfgang, you don’t look well.’

‘I’m all right,’ he said, sitting gratefully. ‘It was just a panic attack.’

‘What caused that?’ she asked, sitting at her desk.

He shrugged. ‘Everything.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Wolfgang gave her a wry smile. ‘I’ve already got a therapist.’ He leaned forward. ‘I want to know why one of your operatives took me to see Dacian after you told me it was too dangerous.’

Her eyes widened and she stared at him in shock for a long moment. ‘I didn’t send anyone to you.’

He scrutinised her face, wishing he could ask Lito and Will if she was lying. They could always tell. Though, he usually could as well, despite his difficulty with telling lies. She bore up to his scrutiny. She was honest and he felt he could trust her.

‘What happened when you saw Dacian?’

‘He is … almost entirely taken over by Whispers, but he was able to tell me about Will. I assume my visitors told you about that?’

She nodded. They did. They’re going to bring him here and we’ll get him on blockers.’

‘We have to stop it spreading further. The only way to get rid of him is to purge him from the minds of those he’s connected to.’

River shook her head. ‘I don’t think we have the technology to do this, Wolfgang.’

‘What about Dacian’s machine?’

‘We have done some tests but we haven’t made much progress yet.’

‘I want Nomi and Kala to look at it.’

‘Your cluster wants me to release you.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘I can’t be around any sensate who isn’t on blockers. It’s not safe. I can feel Whispers inside my head all the time. He wants to expand. He wants to find more hosts.’

‘But what does he want?’

‘To exist,’ Wolfgang said simply. ‘And he will destroy anyone to do it. He doesn’t care if every sensate in the world is killed or bolgered, as long as he exists.’

River nodded slowly. ‘Did Dacian tell you anything else?’

Wolfgang shook his head. He wasn’t going to tell her what Dacian had said about all those connected needing to die. He wasn’t going down that route, not if Will was connected.

‘He took strength from me. Whispers is driving his actions, controlling him. I think … if some of your operatives are on Whispers’ side, he’ll be giving them instructions. You need to keep any operative you don’t trust away from him.’

‘I understand.’

‘Who else is connected to Whispers?’ he asked.

‘Sadly but somewhat thankfully in these circumstances, not many survived once they were connected with The Cannibal. There is perhaps a remnant of Lila’s cluster in hiding somewhere. And of course, there is his mother herself but no one can reach The Lacuna if they do not wish it.’

‘He can’t make any more connections without that machine. I think he might try to get to it.’

‘You seem very sure of his plans. Are you certain he is not in control of you now?’

Wolfgang gave her a sad smile. ‘I’m used to ignoring the bad thoughts in my head. I will not let that son of a bitch get control of me.’

She smiled gently. ‘I’m glad to hear it. Nevertheless, I’m going to ask Corinne to come and see you. I think she will help you keep that control.’

He nodded. ‘I would like that.’

‘We have an enclosed garden here. I think it would do you good to sit there for a little while. I will bring Corinne to you there.’

A garden sounded nice. He needed the air and the sunlight. He nodded in agreement. 

A little while later, Wolfgang was sitting on a bench in the garden with his eyes closed and his face turned up towards the sun. It wasn’t quite like going for a run or a swim but it was the next best thing. The fresh air and the sunlight felt so good. He’d missed them. His body had missed them. He was surprised he hadn’t had more panic attacks. Maybe therapy was good for something.

‘Wolfgang?’

He opened his eyes and smiled as he saw Corinne by the door into the garden.

‘I was just thinking about you.’

‘Something good, I hope,’ she said as he sat on the bench beside him.

He nodded. ‘Just thinking how much worse I’d be handling this if I hadn’t had therapy.’

‘Well, I must admit this wasn’t what I was imagining I’d be preparing you for but I’m glad it’s helping. Do you want to talk about what happened in that cellar?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I’m guessing River’s filled you in?’

‘I have a rough outline of events but I would like to hear it from you. It must have been a difficult experience for you.’

Wolfgang chuckled dryly. ‘That’s therapist speak. Difficult? I was psychologically tortured.’

‘And how are you coping now? Flashbacks? Panic attacks?’

‘A couple but I’m focusing on staying strong for my cluster. We can’t afford for me to fall apart right now.’

‘You’re in survival mode,’ she said, gently. 

‘I know. I haven’t got any other choice, have I?’

‘No, you haven’t really. I just want you to be aware that you might experience a setback when all this is over.’

‘Yeah, it’s like you said. As a survivor, I react. I fight or I run. It’s when it’s safe that I fall apart.’

‘Yes, that’s exactly right. So, when this is all over, I want you to come and see me and we’ll talk it over.’

‘I will. I promise.’

‘In the meantime, remember the techniques we’ve used. Your breathing and your visualisations. You are a strong person and you can get through this.’

‘I’ve been through worse and survived.’ He smiled. ‘And now I’ve got a lot to live for. Kala, Rajan, my cluster. I’d go through anything for them.’

She patted his knee and gave him a warm smile. ‘I know you would.’


	41. Chapter 41

Capheus was worried. He’d felt Kala’s pain and Riley’s distress and Sun’s anger, but it had all been over too quick and he wasn’t sure what had happened. He hadn’t been able to feel Will.

And now, as he, Zakia and their two bodyguards, Absko and Reth, made their way out of the airport, he couldn’t feel any of them. At least he knew where they were now. He'd seen them arriving at the BPO headquarters, shaken and worried. They’d taken blockers and gone to see Wolfgang, or at least Kala, Riley and Sun had. He still couldn’t feel anything from Will.

‘What’s going on?’ asked Nomi, still on her plane.

‘I don’t know. Can you feel Will?’

‘I can’t feel anyone except you and Lito.’

‘We’re boarding now,’ said Lito. ‘What’s happening with Will?’

‘We don’t know, Lito,’ said Nomi. ‘Capheus, you need to go straight to the others when you get there.’

‘But they’re all on blockers. I don’t know where they are.’

‘Then you’ll have to do it the Sapien way.’

‘Huh?’

‘Text them, Capheus,’ said Nomi, rolling her eyes. 'Or call them.'

Beside her, Neets laughed. ‘Tell him to text Rajan. He’s always the first to text back.’

Capheus dug out his phone and switched it back on. By the time it found a signal, they were getting into the car waiting for them outside the airport.

‘Are we going straight to the flat?’ Zakia asked.

‘I don’t know,’ said Capheus. ‘I’m going to call Rajan. I'll get a quicker answer that way.’ He dialled and held the phone to his ear as he waited for Rajan to pick up. Zakia helped the bodyguards load their luggage into the car. 

‘Capheus? Have you landed?’ Rajan asked the moment he picked up. His voice sounded tense.

‘Hello, my friend! We’re here! Should we meet you at the flat?’

‘Yes, we’re on our way back there now. Listen, Capheus, if Will is there stay away from him. He’s not safe.’

Capheus frowned in confusion. ‘Will? What’s going on with Will? Is he on blockers? We can’t feel anything from him.’

‘Wolfgang says Whispers is in Will’s mind too. Look, whatever you do, don’t go in there alone. Take your bodyguards in with you. He’s already been violent.’ 

‘Violent? Rajan, what are you talking about?’

‘We’ll explain when we get there. Just be careful.’

‘We will. See you soon.’ Confused, he hung up and climbed into the car after Zakia. He gave the address to the driver and filled her in on his conversation with Rajan as they drove.

As they made their way up to the flat, Capheus’s heart was hammering as the main thought in his head was the realisation that not one of the fighters in their cluster was connected to him right now. If Will, _Will_ , was violent, he had no chance. He had learned some moves from Sun, Wolfgang and Will but not enough to hold his own against Will himself. He knew the basics by now but he wasn't a fighter.

Zakia was behind him. Violent? How violent did Rajan mean? If Whispers was in Will’s brain, controlling his actions, he could do anything. It wasn’t safe for her in there.

He glanced back at her. ‘Maybe you should stay outside. It might be dangerous.’

She frowned at him. ‘Then you shouldn’t go in either.’

He stopped, affronted. ‘I’ve done self-defence.’

She smiled at him. ‘I’ve done more and without your cluster, I’m better than you.’

Capheus couldn’t argue with that. The truth was, he didn’t want either of them to go in there without knowing what was going to happen. He was brave and he would face anything he had to. But he knew he was unequipped for this.

‘We’ll go in first, Sir,’ said Absko.

Capheus nodded. ‘I suppose that makes sense.’ He stood back and let Abkso and Reth go in front of them.

He opened the front door for them and they strode in. Capheus waited anxiously by the front door with Zakia. ‘Don’t hurt him,’ he called.

Abkso came back out of the room. ‘There’s no one there, Sir.’

Capheus frowned, glanced at Zakia, then ran into the flat. Abkso was right. There was no one there. He searched quickly through the flat, checking in all the rooms on each floor, even the swimming pool. There was no sign of Will.

He went back downstairs. Zakia had followed him into the flat. ‘He’s not here?’

He shook his head. ‘There’s no sign of him.’

Rajan could see Kala’s anxiety clearly as they drove back home. He knew part of it was worry about Wolfgang but she, like him, had been reassured by seeing him. He was doing all right. He was calm and in control, for the most part. No, he knew that what worried her most right then was Will.

She was still in shock at what had happened before they left, and she was worried about what state Will would be in now. He had to admit, he was as well. If he was still in the same sort of state they’d left him in, how the hell were they going to get him to BPO?

At least they had Sun, Kwan-Ho and Capheus’s bodyguards. If things had to get physical, they could overpower Will between them.

He reached for Kala’s hand as they got out of their car. She gripped it gratefully as they made their way inside.

Capheus was there to greet them but his normally joyful face was creased with worry. ‘He’s not here,’ he said, immediately.

‘He must be here,’ said Kala, breaking her grip on Rajan and looking around the living room. ‘You’ve checked upstairs?’

‘I have checked everywhere, Kala. He is not here,’ said Capheus.

‘He must be,’ said Kala, her voice breaking slightly.

Capheus looked at her in alarm, reaching out for her. He laid a hand on her shoulder. ‘Kala, what has happened?’

That gentle question was all it took. All of a sudden, she was crying and Capheus slipped his arm around her shoulders and brought her close into a snug embrace. Rajan watched, feeling helpless. He couldn’t even fix things for his own wife.

Capheus glanced around at them over Kala’s head. ‘So this is the violence you were talking about? Will hurt Kala?’

‘He was trying to stop us going to see Wolfgang,’ said Rajan.

Capheus nodded slowly, in disbelief. ‘How is Wolfgang?’

Rajan hesitated. There was a lot to explain but he didn’t want to worry the cluster. ‘He’s … anxious but he’s all right.’

‘What do we do now?’ asked Sun.

‘Wolfgang wants Nomi to look at Dacian’s machine, see if she can work it out,’ Rajan said.

Kala emerged from Capheus’s hug and wiped her tears away. ‘I should look at it too. We might be able to run some tests together, work out how it works.’ She took a deep breath. ‘That machine put Whispers in Wolfgang’s mind. Maybe it can erase him too.’


	42. Chapter 42

Amanita’s hand in Nomi’s was a comfort as they made their way through the streets of Paris to the BPO Headquarters. This wasn’t how she’d imagined they might return to Paris together but she was glad her wife was with her, supporting her through this, helping her to keep the fear at bay. Although her logical mind knew BPO was different now, that they could trust River, some part of her still felt the fear.

And the fact that they knew Whispers was really back, and not just a trauma in Wolfgang’s head, made the fear all the worse. She still couldn’t believe it, that he was actually back. It didn’t make sense. She and Lito had both been there with Capheus when the others had explained what had happened but there was still so much to understand.

As much as it sounded like Science Fiction, the idea that Whispers was in Will’s mind made a lot more sense than the thought that Will could be violent with any of them, least of all Kala. She was the gentlest and most sweet-natured of all of them. None of them could imagine hurting her. Will would be violent _for_ any one of them and he would do anything to protect them all. But they all knew he would never ever hurt them.

‘You all right?’ Neets asked, tugging her to a stop outside the BPO building.

Nomi swallowed, then took a deep breath and looked at her wife and smiled gratefully. ‘I am with you with me.’

Amanita beamed at her and squeezed her hand. ‘You’ll always have me.’

‘I know.’ She brought Neet’s hand to her mouth and kissed it. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

‘Come on,’ said Neets. ‘Let’s go sort out your cluster.’

Nomi smiled and they entered the building together. 

After Corinne had left him, Wolfgang sat alone in the garden for some time, enjoying the fresh air and the sunlight on his face. The blocker was still in effect, so he felt safe. Capheus should be in Paris by now, and maybe Nomi. Hopefully Lito would be on his way too.

Soon, all the cluster would be back together and they’d be able to stop Whispers again. He was worried about Will but, if Wolfgang could get control of that voice, maybe Will could too. Will was strong, and he’d resisted Whispers before.

The garden door opened again and he looked up. River was there, giving him a smile. ‘Your cluster is here, getting ready to look at the machine. Do you want to see them?’

Wolfgang stood. ‘Yeah.’

He followed her from the garden, across to the other side of the building, where the laboratories were. She showed him into a room next to a lab and waited outside. Seconds after the door opened, Wolfgang felt himself being enveloped in a strong embrace. He grinned as he recognised one of Capheus’s hugs. Capheus’s joy always was infectious and it made him feel lighter immediately.

‘My buddy! It’s so good to see you,’ Capheus cried, hugging him tight.

Wolfgang grinned wider, hugging him back. ‘It’s good to see you too.’

‘Nomi’s on her way. She says she’ll be here soon,’ he said.

Wolfgang frowned and pulled away. ‘You’re not on blockers?’

‘We think it’s safe, Wolfgang,’ said Riley. ‘None of us were connected to Whispers before so you can’t pass him on with eye contact.’

Wolfgang huffed. ‘I still think it’s risky.’

‘If we’re going to fight him, we need to be connected,’ said Sun, calmly.

Wolfgang glanced at her and shrugged. ‘Suppose.’ He didn’t like it but he knew they were right. There was no evidence that he could infect anyone else, and he knew he’d made eye contact with Kala and Riley after his rescue. Maybe it was all right.

He glanced around at them all. ‘Where’s Will? Is he in the lock up? Is he okay?’

The cluster exchanged glances and Wolfgang’s heart sank. ‘Where is he?’

‘We don’t know,’ said Kala, softly.

‘When we got back to the flat, he was gone,’ said Riley. She bit her lip. ‘None of us can feel him.’

‘Scheiße,’ muttered Wolfgang, dragging his hand through his hair. His mind was racing. Where had Whispers taken Will? Somewhere to infect more people? No, the only ones easy to connect with were physically too far out of reach, their whereabouts not known for certain.

He would need the machine. He’d be coming here. Alarm shot through Wolfgang. If Whispers was bringing Will here, he’d either make him kill or get him killed. The operatives were good shots and Will didn’t have his gun, as far as he knew. And Will would never forgive himself if he killed innocent people. He had enough trouble with the idea of killing guilty people.

Before Wolfgang could speak, River opened the door again, showing Nomi and Amanita inside. Wolfgang felt relief as he saw Nomi; he had no doubt that she and Kala would be able to work the machine out.

‘Wolfgang, you all right?’ she asked. He could see her looking him over.

‘I’m fine,’ he said, automatically. He noticed the slight roll of her eyes and her somewhat indulgent smile. Yes, he knew he always said that.

‘River, we need access to Dacian’s machine now. I need you to evacuate all other personnel from the area.’

River frowned. ‘What’s going on, Wolfgang?’

‘Will’s gone missing. Like I said, I think he’s coming for the machine.’

‘I’ll get operatives on the door. He won’t get in,’ she said.

‘No!’ barked Wolfgang. He looked hard at her. ‘I don’t trust any of your operatives and I won’t risk Will. No.’

River looked surprised and Wolfgang knew his face had gone hard with cold anger. He felt Rajan and Kala move closer to him. Their hands touched the small of his back and he knew they were both backing him up, as well as trying to keep him calm. 

Wolfgang glanced around at them all, meeting each gaze, before he turned back to River. ‘We will handle this.’ 


	43. Chapter 43

Will had a headache. There was pain and a fuzziness in his head; he felt spaced out, weird and not quite with it. He looked around, blinking and shaking his head as he tried to clear it. Where was he? He remembered feeling angry. He remembered the distress of remembering his actions. He remembered leaving the flat, but that was it.

What was going on? He was wandering in a street he didn’t know, completely alone. He needed his cluster. He needed to talk to them. But he couldn’t feel them. They weren’t talking to him.

_They won’t want to talk to you. They hate you now._

Will shook his head. ‘No, no. They don’t. They love me. We all love each other.’

_Not anymore. Not after what you’ve done._

Will rubbed his eyes. ‘No, please, stop it. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.’

_They won’t understand that. They can’t forgive you for this, like my cluster couldn’t forgive me._

‘Who are you?’

 _You know who I am, Will, and you know what you need to do_.

Will shook his head. ‘No, I won’t hurt my cluster.’

_You already have. There’s no going back._

The pain in his head sharpened and he cried out, stumbling against a nearby wall. ‘Please, stop it.’

_You know what to do to make it stop._

Will sank to the ground, whimpering as the pain pulsed in his head. But there was more than pain. All at once every moment of hurt, grief, pain and loss he’d ever experienced hit him like a battering ram and he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t bear it. He would do anything to make it stop.

_Get up._

The voice was insistent and Will found himself obeying.

_Walk._

Will found himself walking. He didn’t know where he was going but he didn’t need to know. He only had to follow the voice. It would tell him what he had to do. Nothing else mattered.

 _That’s right. There is nothing else but me, Will. Nothing at all._

Wolfgang paced the lab, his heart jumping. Every part of him was alert, watchful. He had to keep calm; he had to stay in control. He breathed slowly and deliberately, like Corinne had shown him.

The blockers had worn off and he could feel the others. Between them they had the entrances covered. Sun and Kwan-Ho were at the main entrance. Riley, Capheus and his two bodyguards were at the side entrance and Rajan was outside the lab, all keeping watch for Will. Amanita and Zakia had both gone with River, safely out of harm’s way.

Nomi and Kala were examining the machine, communicating rapidly between them. As he paced, he felt Nomi shoot him a look.

‘Wolfgang, can you stop pacing for five minutes?’

‘I just want to be ready,’ he replied, shortly.

Nomi and Kala exchanged glances and he felt both affection and impatience from both of them.

‘If you want to help, lie down on the bed and let us hook this thing up to you,’ said Nomi.

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘I can’t keep still.’

‘We did notice. Maybe you should go and wait outside,’ said Kala gently.

‘I don’t want to leave you alone.’

‘We’ll be fine. That’s the only entrance and you can visit if you’re worried.’

Wolfgang hesitated. ‘Are you getting anywhere with that?’

‘We think so,’ said Nomi. She smiled gently. ‘We’ll get further without the pacing.’

He held his hands up. ‘All right, all right. I’ll go annoy Rajan instead.’

He left the lab. Rajan was almost right outside the door. He looked round as Wolfgang opened the door and smiled when he saw him.

‘You get thrown out?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘Apparently my pacing is distracting.’

Rajan chuckled. ‘You know how they get when they’re working.’

‘Uh huh,’ said Wolfgang, looking at the floor. He felt Rajan watching him.

Then he felt Rajan’s hand on the small of his back. ‘You all right?’

‘No,’ said Wolfgang, honestly. ‘Will is on his way here and I might have to hurt him.’

‘Maybe he won’t come. Maybe he’s resisting.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No. He’s coming.’

‘How do you know?’

Wolfgang looked at him. ‘I can feel Whispers.’

Rajan’s eyes widened in alarm. ‘I thought you said you were in control.’

‘I am but I can still feel him in there, trying to get through. I can feel what he feels and right now …’ He took a deep breath. ‘Right now, he feels triumphant, because he’s got control of Will.’

Wolfgang pulled away from Rajan’s touch and started to pace again. ‘I have to be ready. Whispers is devious. He’ll have a plan and he’s using Will to get it done.’

‘We’ll stop him, Wolfie,’ said Rajan gently. ‘Nomi and Kala will work out how to get him out of all your minds.’

‘How can I fight an enemy that’s in the mind of one of my best friends, of someone I love? I can’t hurt Will. So how can I stop Whispers?’

Rajan reached out and caught hold of him. He framed his shoulders with his hands and looked him in the eye. ‘You need to stay in control. Keep calm, don’t get angry. It’s just like when you take me through those self-defence moves. You don’t have a problem pinning me without hurting me, do you?’

Wolfgang smirked. ‘I guess not.’ His smirk faded as he thought back to the kickboxing and other fight workouts he’d done with Will. He was one hell of a fighter and not someone who was easy to beat. ‘Raj, you’re improving but Will’s a better fighter than you.’

Rajan rubbed his shoulder. ‘Well, if you have to, use that strong punch of yours. Knock him out. It’ll hurt but it won’t be permanent. Do what you have to do.’

For a moment, Wolfgang let himself just feel Rajan’s reassuring touch and words, then he pulled away. He had to be ready.

He felt a sudden jolt of fear from Riley and then she was standing in front of him. She clutched him and her fear was like the sharp tang of copper in his mouth. ‘Wolfgang, he’s coming. Will’s coming.’


	44. Chapter 44

Wolfgang stepped outside the side entrance. Riley and Capheus were both there, glancing anxiously between him and the figure approaching in the distance. Riley was right of course; they’d all know Will anywhere.

He glanced at the two bodyguards. He didn’t want them out here; they were trained to protect at all costs and he wasn’t going to allow Will to be hurt.

‘Capheus, you three go inside and help Rajan protect the lab. No one is to get in, not even BPO operatives. We don’t know which of them we can trust.’

Capheus nodded, then spoke to his bodyguards in Swahili, directing them inside.

‘What about me?’ asked Riley.

‘Stay with me. You might be able to get through to Will,’ said Wolfgang, wondering when he’d become the one the cluster listened to.

‘Should we get Sun over here?’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No. I’m worried Will is just a distraction.’ He looked at her. ‘There are others under Whispers’ influence. Sapiens, I think but they’re dangerous.’

‘The operatives who took you to see Dacian?’

Wolfgang nodded. ‘At least.’

He looked to his left and saw Sun. She laid her hand on his shoulder. ‘No one will get past us,’ she said.

He nodded; he had complete confidence in her and Mun. It was himself he was worried about. Sun squeezed his shoulder, then she was gone.

Wolfgang glanced at Riley. ‘Stay safe,’ he said, then took a step forward.

Will had stopped a few feet away but he wasn’t looking at them. He was swaying slightly and his eyes were unfocused.

‘Will, what are you doing?’ Riley asked.

He frowned. ‘I have to … I have to get it.’

‘I can’t let you have it, Will,’ said Wolfgang.

Will rubbed his face hard. ‘I can’t … I have to … it hurts so much.’

‘We can stop the pain, but you have to trust us.’

‘I can’t trust you. I don’t know you.’

Wolfgang glanced at Riley, who looked back, horrified, at him. ‘It’s Wolfgang and Riley,’ he said. ‘Your cluster. We’re all here for you.’

The rest of the cluster stood with them, all showing themselves to Will.

Will frowned, shaking his head in confusion. ‘No, no, you’re not my cluster. You’re enemies. My cluster died.’

‘We didn’t die, Will, we’re right here,’ said Wolfgang.

Will squeezed his eyes shut, his face creased with distress. ‘No, they died. I hurt them and they couldn’t forgive me. I had to get rid of them.’

Wolfgang felt Riley’s distress, mixing with his own and the rest of the cluster’s as they heard these words. He breathed deliberately, trying to keep himself calm.

He felt a surge of adrenaline from Sun and saw four operatives advancing on her, in the same moment that Will’s face hardened.

‘You are my enemies. Perdere hostium.’ His voice was all cold fury.

Wolfgang’s blood ran cold and he realised he could understand the words. _Destroy the enemies_. That was Whispers.

Before Wolfgang could respond, Will was moving. Wolfgang prepared himself. The next second, Will was on him. Not Will, _Whispers_ , but still Will, still his friend.

He dodged a blow, grabbing for the first that dealt it. But Will was too quick. The second punch caught him on the chin, then another on the nose. He spluttered blood.

‘Will, stop,’ called Riley. ‘We want to help you. We love you.’

But Will wasn’t listening. Will couldn’t listen anymore. Wolfgang blocked a blow, catching hold of his fist and pushing him back.

‘You need to stop now. I’m not letting you past me.’

Will kicked out. Wolfgang dodged it but lost grip of his fist. He knew he could down Will in a second but not without hurting him.

A hard punch landed to Wolfgang’s abs, pushing the air from his lungs. He wheezed, desperately trying to catch his breath. Will leapt on him, knocking him to the ground. His hands grabbed at his throat, squeezing hard. Wolfgang stared up, in disbelief at that face he knew so well, twisted unrecognisably in hate and anger.

Riley pulled at Will’s arms. ‘Will, let him go. You’re going to kill him.’

‘Perdere hostium,’ grunted Will.

Wolfgang couldn’t breathe. Will’s grip was too tight. He struggled but Will was on top of him, his bodyweight trapping him in place.

Riley pushed with all her strength, some borrowed from Capheus and finally knocked Will off. Wolfgang gasped for breath but, knowing he couldn’t wait, he pushed up on his hands and knees.

Will came at him again. Wolfgang knew he couldn’t fuck around now. He needed to stop this, before one of them got killed.

He stayed still, on all fours and listened. He heard Will coming, and he saw him through Riley. He came for him and Wolfgang shoved his elbow back, catching Will in the stomach. He heard a whimper of pain and surged to his feet, grabbing hold of Will and pinning him down.

Will struggled violently but Wolfgang held him down, desperately.

‘Help me!’ he cried. ‘I need help.’

Riley reached for them, holding Will down as well. Wolfgang wondered what the hell they were going to do. They couldn’t pin him down forever.

‘Music,’ Riley whispered.

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

‘Wait, just wait,’ gasped Riley. She let go of Will and dug in her pocket. She pulled out her MP3 player and selected a song. She turned up the volume so it could be heard outside her headphones.

_Twenty five years and my life is still_

_Trying to get up that great big hill of hope_

_For a destination_

_I realised quickly when I knew I should_

_That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man_

_For whatever that means_

Will stilled, listening. Wolfgang didn’t move from on top of him, in case this was a trick. Will looked around, dazed and confused again. He blinked and there were tears in his eyes.

‘What … what’s going on?’

Wolfgang glanced at Riley, frowning. Was he asking or repeating the words of the song? He looked between them, then reached for Wolfgang. Wolfgang held himself stiff, watching him warily.

But Will’s hand was gentle and cupped his cheek softly. ‘Wolfie, what happened to you?’

Wolfgang slid off him, his arm going around his shoulders. Panting, he exchanged looks with Riley. He didn’t need to be able to feel her emotions to see the distress in her face. He didn’t know what to say. She reached for Will, smoothing her hands across his chest.

Neither of them knew what to do. They just sat there, Will lying on their laps as the music played around them. 


	45. Chapter 45

As Riley and Wolfgang sat, cradling Will in their laps, the rest of the cluster was with them, watching silently. Wolfgang looked up, taking in all their faces. His gaze came to rest on Lito, the only one of them not yet there.

‘Is he all right?’ Lito asked.

Wolfgang nodded. ‘I think so.’

‘We’ll be there soon,’ said Lito. ‘We’re waiting for a cab.’

Wolfgang took a deep breath. They had to make sure they were all safe. He visited Sun. He was satisfied to see that no operatives were left standing. Every single one was unconscious at their feet. She shrugged at him and gave him half a grin.

‘Only four men.’

He grinned at her. ‘Well done. Can you get these men locked up?’

She glanced at Mun. ‘We can handle it.’

He nodded, then visited Capheus.

Capheus’s eyes widened when he saw him. ‘Wolfgang, are you okay?’ 

‘I’m fine. I need your help out here,’ Wolfgang said, glancing at Rajan, who couldn’t see him. His lover was looking anxiously at Capheus.

‘Is that Wolfgang? Is he all right?’

‘Tell him I’m fine, will you, then get out here,’ said Wolfgang.

He returned his attention to Will. They were still holding him, just in case he lost control again. Riley held his hand. She was singing to him now, her voice soft and sweet. Will was gazing at her, like she was the only thing in the world.

Wolfgang swallowed, imagining it was him in Will’s place. He knew that Kala would help him, that his love for her would be strong enough. Kala’s hand slipped through his and she gazed at him. He could feel her love, flooding all his senses. The intensity of the love he felt for her used to surprise him but it didn’t anymore. He knew it was forever and he knew they’d never give up on each other.

‘Bring him to us,’ she said, indicating Will.

He nodded and Capheus stepped out of the side door. He took in the scene before him with wide eyes. ‘Is he okay?’

‘He’s all right just a bit dazed. We need to get him to Kala and Nomi now.’

Capheus nodded and stepped forward to help Wolfgang get Will to his feet. Together they half-led, half-carried him inside.

Will felt dazed and he didn’t remember what had happened. He was in a lab, with most of his cluster there, as well as Mun, Amanita, Zakia and Rajan. He remembered Wolfgang and Capheus walking him into the lab and Wolfgang had been gentle and apologetic as he’d cuffed him to the chair.

He didn’t know why they didn’t trust him. What had happened? They were all gathered around something, talking. He couldn’t hear them and he couldn’t visit.

With a jolt, he remembered Kala injecting him with a liquid blocker and he knew the affects of that were quick. They definitely didn’t trust him.

Wolfgang’s nose was swollen and his lip was bloody. He was starting to get a black eye. He’d been fighting with somebody. That in itself wasn’t unusual but Will had also spotted that Wolfgang’s knuckles were not bruised. So, whoever had given him those injuries, he hadn’t really fought back.

‘Wolfgang, what’s going on?’ he asked. He frowned as he remembered asking that before, on the ground outside. What had he been doing on the ground? He remembered Riley singing to him.

‘What happened outside? Why do I feel so strange?’

Wolfgang glanced at him. ‘Just wait, Will.’

Will felt a jolt of anger in his belly. ‘I don’t want to wait. Fucking tell me what’s going on!’

They all exchanged glances and Will felt the anger build inside him. ‘Will you fucking look at me?’

Wolfgang crossed to him and put a hand on his shoulder. ‘You need to keep calm and focused. That’s the only way to keep that voice out of your head.’

Will’s heart thudded in alarm. ‘How do you know about the voice?’

‘Because he’s in my head too. Whispers is trying to control you.’

Will shook his head in disbelief. ‘No, no, you’re wrong. I can’t… I’m in control.’

Wolfgang squeezed his shoulder. ‘We’ll get you back in control.’ He pulled away.

Wolfgang reluctantly dragged his attention away from Will and crossed back over to where Kala and Nomi were standing with the machine.

‘Kala, Nomi, what do we know about this thing?’ 

‘The machine operates on tracking brainwave patterns,’ said Kala. ‘It’s like the traceworks but it has no power of its own. It’s a conductor.’

‘What does that mean?’ asked Capheus.

‘It builds a connection between sensates,’ said Nomi. ‘Like the connection between us and Angelica where memory and consciousness flows across from a dead sensate to a living one but this connection is artificial. It overlays the eye contact connection, forcing another brainwave pattern over the original.’ 

‘Can we modify it to reverse the process?’ asked Riley.

‘Perhaps. We need to test it more,’ said Kala.

‘Music,’ said Will suddenly. His eyes were still unfocused but he frowned as he made an effort to focus. ‘Music helped me.’

They looked at him. Wolfgang frowned, as he thought back. He was right.

‘That’s right, isn’t it?’ asked Will. ‘Riles, you played me that song from the first time we all connected, Wolfie’s Karaoke favourite.’

‘Hey, I don’t have a favourite Karaoke song,’ protested Wolfgang.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, several of them laughed and Kala rubbed his arm. ‘Yes you do, love.’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes. ‘We’ll agree to disagree but Will’s right. That song brought Will right out of whatever trance he was in. Maybe it can help.’

Nomi frowned and Wolfgang could feel her focus. ‘Wolfgang, this Dacian guy forced you to relive bad memories when he used this and you didn’t see Whispers until after that?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Then maybe if bad memories let Whispers into your mind, maybe good memories can force him out.’

It made sense. It was worth trying. He would be happy to let them test it on him if that would help.

At the same moment he opened his mouth to say so, the sharp bang of gunshots punctured the air.


	46. Chapter 46

‘I think I need a little help here, guys,’ said Lito, suddenly appearing in front of them. He was pale and his eyes were wide.

Wolfgang felt his alarm and he felt how close he was. He could also feel the cold touch of gunmetal against his temple.

‘Scheiße,’ muttered Wolfgang, heading for the door.

Rajan grabbed his arm, holding him back. ‘Wolfgang, no don’t go out there. They’ve got guns.’

‘I have to.’

‘Surely the operatives can handle it?’

Wolfgang looked into Rajan’s eyes. ‘I have to. It’s Lito.’

‘Let me come,’ called Will.

Wolfgang glanced at him and gave a small shake of his head. ‘Stay here. No sense risking more of us.’ He stepped outside, before anyone could stop him.

The sight that confronted him made his blood run cold. There were six operatives, pointing guns at each other. Three more were dead on the floor. Kneeling on the floor were Hernando and Dani, their hands in the air, and the man holding a gun to Lito’s head was Dacian.

Wolfgang could feel the rest of the cluster with him and their support helped him focus. Despite what he’d told them, he could feel their determination to help.

‘Get me out of these cuffs.’ He heard Will’s urgent voice but he had other things to focus on. He knew he was the only one who could get through to Dacian.

‘Wolfgang,’ Lito said, visiting him. ‘Help us.’

Wolfgang visited him in return, examining Dacian’s hold on Lito. It was close. Maybe too close. If he had a gun, he could probably take him out. But he was unarmed. And he had no desire to kill Dacian if he didn’t have to. He was just as much Whispers’ victim as anyone else.

He looked at Lito. ‘All I need is a little space,’ he said, meaningfully.

He felt that Lito understood. Wolfgang took in the scene. Clearly, some of these operatives were with Dacian but which ones?

‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Will in his ear. ‘They’ve got each other to handle. Focus on Dacian.’

‘Dacian, can you talk to me?’ he asked.

Dacian blinked slowly. ‘I can’t. I have to do what he says.’

‘Whispers is not here. He’s a voice in your head. He can’t make you do anything.’

He looked at Wolfgang. ‘You know that’s not true. He’s strong, so strong in my head. I can’t ignore him.’

‘You can be stronger than him. Look at me. I’m keeping him out.’

Dacian shook his head. ‘You’re different. You’re strong. You have your cluster.’

Wolfgang glanced at Lito. His stance was steady and he was in a good position. Just a little more distraction and Wolfgang could get him free. ‘We can help you. You and I are connected now. I want to help you.’

‘Keep him talking,’ said Will in his ear. ‘We’re getting help.’

Wolfgang didn’t reply, just kept focused on Dacian and Lito. He had noticed that Hernando and Dani had managed to put a little more distance between them and Dacian. So far, Dacian hadn’t noticed.

‘Nobody can help me,’ Dacian whispered, closing his eyes. But he opened them too quickly.

‘We’ve been examining the machine you used on me.’

‘You’ve got the machine?’

‘We think we can modify it to wipe Whispers from your mind. The machine put him in your mind. It can take him out.’

‘No, no, no you’re lying!’ screamed Dacian. ‘Nothing can get rid of him. Nothing. He told me. He’s always going to be here.’ 

‘He’s telling the truth,’ said Lito, his voice soft and sincere. ‘Wolfgang can’t lie. If you’re connected, you’ll know that.’

‘I promise I’m telling the truth,’ said Wolfgang. ‘We can stop Whispers.’

Dacian frowned, his grip on Lito easing. ‘No one can stop him. None of my cluster could stop him. They’re all gone now. He killed them all.’

‘You survived.’

Dacian pulled a disgusted face. ‘He let me live. He experimented on me, implanting himself in my mind. He stole my consciousness so that _he_ could live.’

‘Then let us help you get him out.’

Dacian didn’t reply. Wolfgang felt the operatives burst in through the doors before he saw them, because Will was with them.

‘Drop your weapons!’ called the lead operative, who had a weapon trained on Dacian. Wolfgang saw the laser target on Dacian’s forehead. More weapons were trained on the other operatives. Wolfgang hoped they knew which the traitors were.

Dacian didn’t look at them. He was looking only at Wolfgang. ‘There’s only one to get rid of him.’

He pushed Lito away, turned and shot twice at the operatives. Two crumpled to the ground. In a split second, he looked at Wolfgang, smiled and his voice was in Wolfgang’s head.

 _I hope your machine works_.

Then he put the gun to his own head and pulled the trigger.

Wolfgang felt his death like it was his own. Pain burst through his skull and he saw spots in front of his eyes. He swayed and somebody caught him. He held on tight to strong arms until he felt steady enough to open his eyes.

‘You okay, man?’ Lito asked.

Wolfgang nodded. ‘Better than him,’ he said, nodding towards Dacian but not wanting to look. He could hear activity around them and he knew that BPO would deal efficiently with this. Lito pulled away from him and went to Dani and Hernando.

Wolfgang turned around and was relieved to see that neither Kala nor Rajan were physically present. The only other person there apart from the operatives was Will. Wolfgang met his eyes and Will came over.

‘You okay, Wolfie?’

Wolfgang nodded. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Is that it? Is it over?’

Wolfgang looked at him. ‘It’s not over, Will. Can’t you feel him still in there?’

Will hesitated, biting his lip. ‘Yeah.’ He looked so lost and afraid that Wolfgang just wanted nothing more than to hold him.

He reached out and pulled Will into a hug. For a moment, they just held each other, breathing each other in after so long keeping each other at arm’s length.

 _So sweet. But I’m not so easy to get rid of_.

Wolfgang shuddered as he heard the voice and Will’s breath hitched. He was right. Whispers was still there.


	47. Chapter 47

‘Come on,’ said Will, turning all cop again. ‘We don’t need to be out here for this.’ He clapped Wolfgang on the shoulder and he could see him trying to assess his mood. Wolfgang didn’t give anything away; he knew Will was still somewhat under the influence of the blockers.

‘Lito, come on, in the lab,’ said Will. He was the leader again and Wolfgang felt nothing but relief at that. 

‘I must admit,’ said Lito, as he, Hernando and Dani followed Will and Wolfgang into the lab. ‘I did not expect to be caught up in a shooting. I’m wearing my best shirt. Do you know how difficult it is to get blood out of white satin?’

‘How would you know?’ said Hernando, indignantly. ‘I do all your washing.’

‘This is why I wear black,’ said Wolfgang.

They walked into the lab. Immediately the others were surrounding them, reaching out for them, touching arms and gripping hands to make sure everyone was all right.

Wolfgang found himself being pulled into a tight hug by Rajan, and he felt Kala’s soft touch on his cheek.

‘I’m fine,’ he said, holding onto Rajan with one arm and slipping his other around Kala. He held them both tight, knowing that they knew he wasn’t fine. But he couldn’t explain it. He’d just witnessed someone kill themselves and it wasn’t like he was unused to violence. He’d seen and caused enough of it now.

But he’d _felt_ Dacian die. He’d felt a piece of himself being ripped away and he felt shaken by it. The pain of that bullet blasting through Dacian’s brain still echoed in his memory and he felt strange, not quite there and still dizzy. But he didn’t know how to explain any of that to anyone.

Rajan pulled back, searched his face then took his hand. ‘Come and sit down.’

‘I’m okay,’ he protested.

‘You’re shaking,’ said Kala, her tone gentle but firm. She would take no arguments.

She took his other hand and the two of them led him to a chair and sat him down. Wolfgang focused on the feel of the metal of the chair beneath him, letting it ground him. He looked around at the others, taking them all in. Lito was all right. For all his dramatics and the fact that he couldn’t throw a punch to save his life, he was a tough guy. In this world, you had to be tough if you were different in any way. Wolfgang knew that personally. And he’d felt that Lito had never been in any doubt that his cluster would save him.

Wolfgang’s gaze settled on Will. Riley had given him a hug and was now talking to him, gripping his hand. But he wasn’t looking at her. Wolfgang watched him, anxiously for a little while. His gaze was blank, as though his thoughts were far away. Wolfgang wished the blocker would wear off finally, so he could feel if Will was all right. He certainly didn’t look it.

Suddenly, Will’s gaze met his but only for a fraction of a second, before he looked away again. Riley’s pale hands cupped his cheeks and brought his attention back to her. Wolfgang watched as they touched their foreheads together, their eyes drifting closed as they breathed each other in, their attention focused entirely on each other.

Kala’s hand landed in Wolfgang’s hair and he looked up at her. Her warm brown eyes met his and he smiled, feeling a familiar warmth spreading through his chest as he gazed at the love of his life.

Her hand smoothed through his hair and he heard himself sigh softly beneath her gentle touch. It felt like so long since they had been together; so long since he’d been able to kiss and hold her and touch her; so long since he’d been able to show her how much he loved her. He wanted nothing more than to do that now, just to take Kala and Rajan home and show them both how much he loved them.

But he knew it wasn’t over yet. He knew they still had to make sure there were no more traitors other than the two Dacian had shot and the four already in BPO’s custody. He knew they still had to battle Whispers.

He stood up, brushing Rajan and Kala’s hands off him. ‘Right, what do we do now?’

Everybody turned to look at him.

‘What do you mean, Wolfgang? Isn’t it over?’ Riley asked. She looked back at Will and frowned. He looked back at her and held her hand.

‘Whispers still exists in my mind and in Will’s.’

‘Dacian was the source,’ said Nomi. ‘But he passed parts of himself over to your minds with the machine. Wolfgang, did BPO perform any tests on you to find Whispers’ brainwave pattern?’

He shook his head. ‘No. But they did on Dacian.’

‘We need to scan your brain and Will’s and find Whispers’ brainwaves. Then we’ll know how strong he is, and we’ll know when we manage to get rid of him.’

‘It is possible then?’ asked Rajan.

Nomi glanced at him and gave him a reassuring smile. ‘We’re very hopeful.’

But Wolfgang caught her feeling of doubt and it confirmed what he already knew. He might never be rid of Whispers. 

‘All right. Let’s get on with it. You can test whatever you need to on me.’

‘And me,’ said Will.

Wolfgang frowned. ‘I’m the one the machine was used on. The tests should be done on me. You should stay out of it.’

‘I’m not going to let you take all the risks here. This is just as much about me as you.’

‘All right, fellas, we don’t have time for posturing,’ said Nomi. ‘Anyway, I need to test you both.’

Wolfgang met Will’s eyes. Will looked over him and Wolfgang knew he was looking at his black eye and bloody lip. Wolfgang felt a surge of guilt from Will and he knew the blocker had worn off.

Will’s jaw set. ‘Fine. I’ll go first.’


	48. Chapter 48

The sight of electrodes being placed on Will’s head was too much for Wolfgang. It took him right back to that cellar in a heartbeat, back to that pain and the hurt of those memories. Although he knew Nomi would never hurt Will, he had no desire to witness it.

Instead, he sneaked outside for a smoke. As he stood there, in the fresh air and the sun, he was all too away of how long it had been since he’d been free to do this. That was all he wanted to be free to live his life. After all the shit he’d been through, he’d finally carved out more happiness that he’d ever thought possible and all he wanted to do was to enjoy it.

He wondered how long Dacian had been watching him. How long had he been struggling under Whispers’ influence? How long had he managed to resist that voice in his head before he’d given into it? How long could Wolfgang resist?

‘Do you have any spare?’ Sun asked, stepping up beside him.

Without speaking, Wolfgang slid another cigarette out of the packet and passed it and his lighter to her. For a few minutes, they smoked and looked out ahead at the quiet street. Wolfgang felt comfortable with Sun. She never pushed him, well except when they worked out. He knew she didn’t expect anything from him. It was easy to be with her.

‘It comes back to you, doesn’t it?’ she said, levelly.

He took a drag and let it out with a sigh. He knew she understood and he didn’t need to explain anything to her. ‘Yeah. Just … out of nowhere.’

‘It gets easier.’

‘Does it?’

She looked at him, meeting his eyes directly. ‘You know it does. You’ve done this before.’

He held her gaze for a moment, then looked away and took another deep drag. ‘I guess.’

He felt warmth from her and he knew she would be there for him, like before. He knew they all would. His thoughts turns to Will. He knew Will was starting to remember or realise what he’d done when Whispers had been in control. He could already feel his guilt. Will didn’t deserve to feel guilty, not after everything he’d done for them. He’d been there every step of the way during his PTSD crisis, and he’d been there for him when he’d been Dacian’s prisoner.

He’d done so much for all of them, put himself in danger for them. He bore no guilt for this. No, all this was because of Whispers. He was the one who had done the hurting. He was the one to blame. He was the one they needed to defeat.

He turned abruptly, stabbing out his cigarette and disposing of it. ‘I have to talk to River,’ he said.

Sun didn’t reply, but he could feel her watching her as he returned inside.

He was relieved to see that the foyer was now clean and empty. The image of Dacian lying still and cold in the morgue flashed into his mind but he pushed it away again. He didn’t want to see him like that.

He made his way to River’s office and strode in without bothering to knock. River glanced up, startled.

‘Wolfgang, I should have expected you.’

‘I want to know how Dacian got out of that cell and how the fuck he got a gun.’

River sighed and leaned back in her chair. ‘It seems the two operatives guarding him were traitors. Those are the operatives Dacian shot dead in the foyer.’

‘Then I want to know how you’re going to make sure there are no more traitors in your organisation.’

‘We have already begun interrogations.’

‘Good because I’m not battling Whispers in my own fucking head just to have one of your Sapien guards bring him back again.’

River regarded him and he could see compassion in her eyes, and pity. He fucking hated pity. He looked away, his anger ebbing away to an ache in his chest. ‘Just make sure he doesn’t come back.’

He turned and abruptly walked out of the room.

Back in the foyer, he stood outside the door to the lab for a moment, then pulled away and leaned against the wall.

_So, how do you think you’re going to get rid of me? You think if you shout and swear you can pretend you’re not that frightened little boy anymore?_

Wolfgang pressed his hands over his ears and sank to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest. He didn’t want to hear it. He wasn’t that little boy anymore. He fucking wasn’t.

A soft hand took his and he gripped up back, recognising Kala’s gentle touch immediately. She didn’t say anything and he knew she was busy in the lab as well. Her other arm settled around him, stroking his hair and the back of his neck. He leaned into her touch, letting it comfort him. He could feel her love; he always could. It was so strong, he could feel it every moment.

He turned into her, leaning against her shoulder. She wrapped him in her arms, smoothing her hands through his hair. He closed his eyes and just felt her presence, letting her comfort him.

But he could still feel that voice in his head, trying to push its way through, trying to control him. He couldn’t let Whispers take control. He had to stay in control.

He pulled back and looked at her. ‘Kala,’ he said softly.

Kala cupped his cheek, her fingers smoothing across his cheek. ‘What is it, Wolfgang?’

He looked into her eyes. ‘Don’t let me ever hurt you.’

Kala’s fingers trailed across his lips. ‘You would never hurt me. You’re not your father.’

Wolfgang looked away. ‘Will hurt you.’

‘That was Whispers, not Will.’

He looked back at her. ‘And Whispers is in my head too.’

‘But you’re in control. He hasn’t taken over you.’

‘But he could, Kala. And I won’t risk hurting you.’

‘I’m not letting you stay locked up anymore.’

‘Kala…’

‘No, Wolfgang,’ she said, firmly. ‘Look, Nomi and I think this is going to be a long process. We need to use the machine in induce good memories and weaken the hold he has on you. We need to build walls in your mind to keep him out. You need to be with us and not locked up in some cell.’

‘I won’t be physically alone with you then, not until Whispers is gone for good.’

She shook her head, smiling. ‘Wolfgang, if Whispers tries to lay a finger on me, Sun will have you on your back in a second.’

He smiled. ‘She is one of the few people who can win a fight against me.’

‘Just her and Will?’

He frowned. ‘Will can only beat me sometimes.’

She smiled, stroking his cheek again. ‘It’ll be all right, Wolfgang.’ She found his hand. ‘Come on. Time for your tests.’

He sighed and let her lead him back into the lab.


	49. Chapter 49

Wolfgang lay down on the bed and took a deep breath as Kala began to attach the electrodes. She was gentle and her calm washed over him. In their minds, they held hands and he focused on the feeling of her close to him.

‘Just focus on me,’ she murmured. ‘Nothing’s going to happen. We’re just looking.’

He gripped he hand and closed his eyes. In his mind, he took himself somewhere else. He was in the pool, back in their flat. He imagined diving into that cool, revitalising water, swimming long leisurely strokes.

Kala was with him, in her red two piece, gliding through the water beside him. They had done this so many times, sometimes with Rajan, sometimes just the two of them. Whether it was three, two, or just him on his own, swimming always made him feel better. Fuck, he really wanted to go home.

‘Soon, my love, soon,’ Kala whispered. ‘We’ll be taking you home soon.’

He focused on her words and her calm. He would be home soon with his lovers.

_And I’ll follow you there. Wherever you go, I’ll be with you. You can’t get rid of me, Wolfgang, whatever you do._

Wolfgang’s eyes snapped open and he jerked, scrambling off the trolley, sending instruments clattering to the floor. He ripped the electrodes off his head and shot across to the other side of the room.

It took him a second to come back to himself and he looked around to see everyone watching him, anxiously. He ran his hand through his hair.

‘Sorry,’ he said, twisting under their searching gazes. 

Nomi gave him a reassuring smile. ‘Don’t worry. We got what we needed for now.’ She bent to pick up her fallen equipment. 

‘So, what do we do now?’ asked Will, his voice quieter and less sure than usual. ‘Do we have a plan?’

‘The immediate danger is gone,’ said Nomi. ‘As long as Will and Wolfgang can keep control.’

‘We can,’ said Wolfgang, firmly. He’d been doing this for a while now; he was certain he could keep control.

Will nodded but didn’t speak. Wolfgang tried to catch his eye but Will didn’t look at him. Wolfgang could still feel that bubble of guilt inside him.

‘Right,’ said Rajan, with an air of taking control. ‘Then I think we should go home. I don’t know about anybody else but Wolfgang needs to have a proper night’s sleep in his own bed.’

Wolfgang smiled, a feeling of affection for Rajan filling him. ‘I’m fine, Raj, though I wouldn’t say no to some of your home cooking if you feel like it. The food here is shit. Worse than hospital.’

Rajan smiled. ‘Anything for you, my love.’

Back at the flat, Wolfgang flopped on the sofa and just absorbed the energy of his cluster and his loved ones around him. Kala rang Felix to let him know Wolfgang was out and he said he’d be right over.

Rajan, Hernando and Capheus started cooking, while everybody else chatted and laughed together, hugged and kissed each other and got used to being together physically again. All except Will. While Riley was curled up with Kala, Nomi and Amanita, Will wandered off on his own. Wolfgang watched as Will quietly let himself out onto the balcony.

Wolfgang waited a moment, then followed him. He knew the others noticed both of them go but he felt they knew they needed some time alone.

Will was staring straight ahead but he glanced at Wolfgang as he stepped up beside him.

‘Your face is all messed up,’ he said.

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘Just a black eye and a cut lip. My nose isn’t broken. I’ve had worse.’

Will held his gaze for a moment, then looked away again.

‘But not by your friend,’ said Will, flatly.

Wolfgang looked at him, a feeling of dread settling in his stomach as he realised he’d been right. ‘You remember.’

Will let out a long sigh. ‘It came back to me in pieces. I remember Whispers telling me all sorts of bullshit about not being able to trust my cluster, that you all hated me, that you were all my enemies now. I didn’t want to believe it but it was like I was compelled, like I didn’t have any other choice.

Wolfgang didn’t say anything. He just listened and watched as Will talked.

‘And when I was fighting you, it was like it wasn’t you. It was somebody else. _I_ was somebody else and all I wanted was to get that machine.’

‘I know how strong that voice is in your head. I hear it too.’

‘But you never hurt anyone you loved because of it.’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I’m used to my mind telling me to do things I don’t want to do,’ he said, glibly. ‘It’s easier for me to ignore it.’

Will shook his head. ‘I have no excuse.’ He turned to Wolfgang reached out and touching his cheek tenderly. His thumb caressed Wolfgang’s cut lip. ‘I hurt you and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.’

Wolfgang grasped his shoulders. ‘Will, it wasn’t you. _Whispers_ hurt us, not you. Never you.’

Will frowned. ‘Us?’

Wolfgang pulled away but the image of Kala cradling her wrist was all too clear in his mind.

‘No…’ Will murmured, horror creeping into his voice. Wolfgang knew he’d seen that image. ‘What did I do to Kala?’

‘It … there was an altercation. Whispers didn’t want them to visit me because I’d worked out he was in your mind. Whispers grabbed Kala to stop her, twisted her wrist. She’s okay.’

‘I assaulted her,’ said Will, flatly.

‘No. Whispers did.’ Wolfgang fixed Will with a hard look. ‘Will if I thought it was you, I’d kill you in a second. But it wasn’t. It was Whispers.’

Will looked helplessly at him. ‘How can any of you forgive me for this? How could I ever forgive myself? How could I ever make this right?’

Wolfgang reached for Will and pulled him into a tight hug. ‘You fight like hell to get rid of the bastard.’


	50. Chapter 50

‘Where is the beautiful bastard?’ called a loud voice from inside.

Wolfgang grinned as he recognised his brother’s voice. He gave Will one last squeeze, then pulled away.

‘Sounds like Felix is eager to see you,’ said Will. He sounded brighter but Wolfgang knew his thoughts were still heavy.

He took Will’s hand, locking their fingers together securely. ‘Come on. You need to be with us.’

Meekly, Will let Wolfgang lead him back inside. Immediately, Felix leaped on him and Wolfgang had to let go of Will to hug him back, lifting him off his feet and holding him tight.

‘I thought I was gonna have to bust you out of there,’ said Felix, as Wolfgang put him down. He ruffled Wolfgang’s hair and gazed at him for a moment. ‘It’s so good to see you, brother.’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘It’s good to see you too, Felix.’ He kissed his cheek and Felix beamed at him. Then he pulled his attention away from Wolfgang and turned to Rajan.

‘Hey, Rajan, what are you cooking? It smells fucking amazing!’

Wolfgang laughed as Felix went to bug Rajan about the food. He glanced at Will and was relieved to see that he was now sitting with Riley, his head on her chest and her arms around him.

While nobody was paying attention, Wolfgang slipped upstairs and into the master bedroom. It wasn’t just as he’d left it of course, because Rajan and Kala had been sleeping there. Kala’s nightdress was on her pillow and Rajan’s pyjama bottoms were on his. There should have been nothing on Wolfgang’s pillow, because he slept naked, but one of his t-shirts was there, one he’d worn recently. He felt a warm but tight sensation in his chest as he realised Kala and Rajan had wanted the scent of him close. Wolfgang understood that desire; he’d wanted the same thing when he’d been away from them.

He suddenly realised how exhausted he was. He was glad everybody was there to help him but all he wanted to do was to crawl into bed and sleep between his lovers.

No, he needed to eat first. He needed decent food inside him and an evening of talk and laughter and closeness with all the people he loved, with his family. And they needed him too. Will needed him and he would be there for him. He owed it to him after everything he’d done for him.

He went to the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water, hoping it would wake him up a little. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. He had one hell of a shiner and his lip was still a little swollen. The swelling of his nose had gone down though and he knew it wasn’t broken. But more than his physical injuries, he looked done in. He was pale and tired and there was a haunted look in his eyes he hadn’t seen for a long time. It was like all the work he’d done in therapy was undone. He felt sick and jumpy, like back when … the beatings and … the rape had first happened. Whispers and that fucking machine had brought it all back, as if it had happened yesterday.

_That’s it. Keep thinking about it. It only makes me stronger._

Wolfgang shuddered as the voice trickled its poison into his ear. ‘Fuck off.’

Whispers laughed, that slow creeping laugh that sent a cold shiver through his body.

_You can’t get rid of me, Wolfgang. I’m always going to be here now, wearing you down every moment._

‘Shut up! I’m not listening to you. You’re nothing but a voice.’

_A voice that can make you relive every bad memory in this fucked up head of yours. You might think you’re strong but I can make you a sobbing, crying mess, begging me, promising me you’ll do anything if I just make it stop._

‘You fucking bastard. You’ll never break me. Never!’ 

A movement caught his eye. He looked in the mirror and his stomach jolted as he saw Whispers staring back at him. Those cold blue eyes, the eyes that had penetrated so many of his dreams, pierced him now. He couldn’t look away.

The fear swelled in his stomach, rising up in his throat and he wanted to throw up but he couldn’t look away.

‘What do you want from me?’

_You know what I want. You don’t need to feel this pain anymore. Let me take control and you’ll never have to suffer ever again._

Wolfgang put his hands over his eyes, blocking out that gleeful smile. ‘Shut the fuck up. I’m not listening to you. You’re _not_ taking control. I’m fucking in control.’

That laugh echoed in his ears again and he wanted to scream, throw up, punch something, fucking _anything_ to stop that voice.

He felt a soft hand on his cheek, the echo of a familiar touch on his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw Angelica gazing at him with tears in her eyes.

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered to him. She stroked his hair lovingly, the touch of a mother and he ached for more. ‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart. This is all my fault.’

In a second, he was in that old church with her. He could smell the musty, rotten stench of depravity filling the space. He recognised the scent of blood and of death. He was sitting on an old mattress, which was grey with dirt. Angelica held his hand.

‘You’re so brave,’ she whispered, reaching up with her other hand to stroke his cheek. ‘You’ve always been so brave. You’re a fighter. You’ve always been a fighter.’

‘I’ve had to be.’

‘You don’t have to be anymore,’ she said, her voice heavy with tears. He could feel her compassion and her love for him, washing over him. It was as strong as his mama’s love for him. He’d always been able to feel that.

She pressed something cold and hard into his hands. He knew what it was but he didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see.

She had another in her own hands. ‘I wish it wasn’t like this. I wish there was some other way.’

‘Maybe there is?’

She shook her head sadly. ‘This is the only way to get rid of him.’

His eyes stung with tears and his throat felt tight as the truth in her words sank in. They’d tried. They’d done so much. They’d killed him and it hadn’t been enough.

He gripped the familiar metal. It fit into his hand like it had always been there. The truth was it had. He’d first used one as a child and never stopped. Now it would be his end. Maybe it was fitting. Maybe it was all he was fit for.

He put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

He came back to himself on the floor in his bathroom. He curled up and gave himself up to the sobs that wracked his body.


	51. Chapter 51

There was a knock on the bathroom door. Wolfgang pulled himself up against the wall and tried to stop his sobs. 

‘Wolfgang?’ came Rajan’s voice. ‘My love, are you all right?’ Can I come in?’ 

‘Yeah,’ croaked Wolfgang. 

Rajan stepped inside and cast his gaze around. He frowned when he saw Wolfgang curled up against the wall. Immediately, he was crouching in front of him, gripping his shoulders and looking into his face. 

‘Wolfie, what’s wrong?’ 

Wolfgang rubbed his face dry. ‘I’m fine.’ 

‘Sure. You always cry in the bathroom when you’re fine. Come on, Wolfie.’ He stroked Wolfgang’s cheek tenderly. ‘Talk to me, my love.’ 

Wolfgang pulled himself in, trying to pull himself together. Rajan didn’t need this shit put on him. Wolfgang had already put him through enough of his problems. 

‘I’m dealing with it,’ he said, stubbornly.

Rajan looked searchingly into his face, then sighed heavily. Wolfgang expected him to give up and leave him to it. But he didn’t. Instead he sat beside Wolfgang and slipped his arm around his shoulders.

For a moment, he just held him. Neither of them spoke. Rajan’s embrace was firm and secure. Wolfgang felt really held and he relaxed into the embrace, breathing deeply and filling his nostrils with the scent of his lover. He felt it start to calm him. Rajan didn’t speak, didn’t question him or anything, just held him. 

‘Whispers is talking to me again,’ he found himself saying, to his surprise. He felt Rajan take a deliberately slow breath. 

‘What is he saying?’ 

Wolfgang looked at him. ‘That I’ll never be free of him, that he’ll wear me down, show me all the shit I’ve been through and it’ll never fucking stop.’

‘If anyone can learn to control it, it’s you. You’re the most stubborn man I’ve ever known.’ 

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘It’s not that simple.’ 

‘Why not, my love?’ 

Wolfgang sighed and looked away. ‘Angelica says there’s only one way out, one final way to put an end to all of this, to Whispers.’ 

‘What way, Wolfgang?’ 

‘The way Dacian chose.’ 

Suddenly, Rajan grabbed his shoulders with both hands. His grip was hard and Wolfgang could see his anger and his fear mixing on his face. 

‘Don’t you dare, Wolfgang. Don’t you fucking dare.’ 

Wolfgang knew how angry he was; Rajan didn’t swear for nothing. ‘Raj, what if it’s the only way?’ 

‘That’s not what Kala thinks. Or Nomi, or any of them. They all think we can beat this and you can’t give up.’

Wolfgang looked away. He couldn’t bear that look in Rajan’s eyes. ‘I’d do it, to protect Kala and all of them.’ 

Rajan softened, releasing his grip on Wolfgang’s shoulders. ‘I knew you’d do anything to protect them but please, please don’t do what Dacian did. None of us, not your cluster, not Felix, not Kala or me, none of us could survive if you did that.’ 

Wolfgang leaned into his lover, pressing his face to Rajan’s neck. His skin was warm and soft. ‘I don’t want to. I just want this to stop.’ 

Rajan put his arms around him and pressed a kiss to his ear. His breath was warm on his skin.

‘We’ll make it stop, my love. I promise.’ 

Wolfgang didn’t say anything, just held onto Rajan and hoped. 

They held onto each other for a while, before Rajan pulled away. ‘Come on, you really need to eat.’ 

Wolfgang nodded in agreement but didn’t speak. Rajan tugged him up.

Wolfgang washed his face and straightened himself up. He knew he’d never fool the cluster, that they must have felt at least some of what he was feeling but he didn’t particularly want to advertise his mood to everyone. He wanted to feel better, feel strong. He didn’t want pity or their compassionate understanding. He just wanted to feel strong. 

In the living room, there were people everywhere. Almost every inch of the room was taken up by his cluster and their partners. Felix was perched on a footstool with a beer. He fixed Wolfgang with a searching look and he knew he saw right through him. He always fucking did. Wolfgang looked away. He needed to keep his front up. He knew it was fake; Dacian had taught him that. But it was all he had. 

He met Kala’s eyes. He was drawn to her; their connection was too strong to ignore. He had never been able to ignore it, even when he’d known it was best to stay away from her. She called to him, in their minds and he went to her. She reached for him, taking his hand in hers. 

Calm and in control, she tugged him down beside her. He went unquestioningly. She pulled him to her and she brought him to her bosom. He rested his head on her soft, warm chest and felt safe. He thought of his mother, his mama who had tried so hard to keep him safe but had failed. But his cluster hadn’t failed. 

He felt Will behind him. He shifted close to Wolfgang, his arm curling around his belly and holding tightly. He pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Riley was there too, behind Will. She reached over and stroked his hair, her touch soft and nurturing. 

He felt Sun’s strength, buffeting against him. She wasn’t one for snuggles but he knew she was there. He could feel her. In his mind, she was the ultimate fighter, proud and strong. He knew her softer side too, her loving side. He understood her without any words needing to be exchanged. She squeezed his shoulder and he felt her love pulsing in her. 

Lito embraced him fiercely, though he never moved from his chair. Wolfgang smiled. He didn’t have to search to find Lito’s feelings. He wore them like a banner; he could hide them from no one. Nor would he even think to try. In so many ways they were opposites but he knew they understood each other. He knew Lito would do anything for him. 

Capheus hugged him too. Capheus always hugged. He was so bright, so full of affection and optimism. Wolfgang still didn’t understand why, after the violence and the chaos he’d seen and experienced. But nothing, nothing at all seemed to dampen Capheus’s sheer joy for life. Wolfgang envied him that sometimes. 

‘Brother,’ Capheus cried, as he hugged him and Wolfgang could feel the meaning behind the words. He rubbed Capheus’s smooth, dark head and kissed him, trying to show him how much he loved him. He knew he understood. 

Nomi kissed him, her lips warm and tender on his. Her long fingers settled at the nape of his neck and she looked into his eyes. 

‘We will make this right. I promise,’ she said, urgent in her sincerity. 

He closed his eyes and he could feel all of his cluster with him and he knew they would not give up. They would never give up on him, no matter what. Wolfgang knew how lucky he was to have them, possibly the only people he’d ever met who could be as stubborn as he could. They’d defeated Whispers before and they would again. They weren’t going to give up. They weren't going to fail. 


	52. Chapter 52

Dinner was a loud and lively event. Wolfgang let the chatter wash over him, absorbing but not contributing. He felt energised and comforting by their presence. He was with his family and they loved him.

He glanced across at Will. He was quiet but seemed happy enough. He was sitting with Riley and he could feel her love washing over Will. She would protect Will, take care of him, the way Kala surrounded Wolfgang with her love. He could feel the determination in all of his cluster that they would prevail.

Wolfgang suddenly felt so tired he couldn’t eat anymore, delicious though it was. He put his knife and fork down and leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes and just listened to their voices. He was home. He was safe. Everything was all right.

‘Hey, Wolfie, are you falling asleep there?’ Felix called across the crowded table.

Wolfgang opened his eyes and peered blearily across at Felix.

Felix laughed. ‘Man, you look like you’ve been clubbing for four days straight.’

Wolfgang rubbed his hands over his face. ‘I feel like I have.’

‘Then I think it’s time for bed,’ said Rajan.

Wolfgang smirked at his lover. ‘Only if you come with me.’

Felix stood up. ‘Right, if you lot are going to start fucking I'm going to go home.’

Wolfgang grinned at him, rolling his eyes. ‘We’re not just going to start fucking right here, you know.’

‘Yeah, yeah, whatever you like to call it, I don’t need to be here for it.’ He walked around the table and crossed to Wolfgang. He hugged him tight. ‘I’ll come back tomorrow. Don’t get yourself locked up again before I get back.’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘I won’t.’

Felix squeezed his shoulder then pulled away. ‘See you tomorrow, brother.’

‘See you.’

Wolfgang didn’t know if the others were going to bed as well and he was too tired to think about it. Kala came upstairs with him and the two of them got ready for bed together. They knew Rajan would be sorting the others out, making sure everyone had a place to sleep. He was always an eager to please host.

Wolfgang stripped off and climbed gratefully into bed. Kala dressed in her short silk nightdress and climbed in beside him. Her arms slipped around him and she tugged him close. He closed his eyes as she kissed his neck and shoulder. He was tired but felt her need for closeness echoing through him as well.

Her hands were gentle on him, leaving trails of warmth across his skin. Her mouth was soft, dropping kisses across his chest. Her hand slipped down to his hip, stroking his thigh, then slipping round to caress his buttocks.

He turned his face into her, breathing in her scent. Her dark curls were so soft on his cheek and he wished he could stay like this forever, with her.

He heard the door open and felt Rajan in the room. After a moment, he joined them, slipping into bed behind Wolfgang. A gentle hand landed on his waist, a thumb rubbing his skin.

Wolfgang smiled as he felt Rajan’s mouth on his shoulder, his beard tickling his skin. Rajan kissed his way across his shoulder as his hand trailed across his hip, then up his chest. They were all too tired for anything intense or too physical but they needed to reacquaint themselves with each other. They needed this closeness.

‘I love you,’ whispered Kala.

‘Ich liebe dich,’ whispered Wolfgang. 

‘My loves,’ whispered Rajan.

Wolfgang felt calm and happy inside, at peace with himself. He knew he was safe. He knew he was back where he belonged. He knew everything would be all right.

They moved against each other, kissing and touching leisurely. They understood each other so well now. They didn’t need to talk, didn’t need to discuss anything; they knew what they needed.

There was nothing but the warmth and softness of each other, as they moved as one. Wolfgang could feel their love through his whole body. Beyond the three of them, he could feel the cluster too, though they weren’t with them right then. He knew it was something Felix didn’t understand, but they were all one. He could never explain it but he knew it, as well as he knew he was alive.

Rajan’s breath was warm and heavy on his neck and Kala murmured softly as Wolfgang nudged his knee between her thighs. She wrapped her legs around him and he could feel her pleasure. He could feel her trembling against him as they moved together.

They moved faster and their breath became ragged as their pleasure rippled through them. Wolfgang opened his eyes so he could see the look on Kala’s face. She gazed back at him, her eyes dark and full of feeling. 

He kissed her, softly and sweetly, trying to put all his feelings into that one kiss. She gasped against him and her fingers gripped his shoulders hard, leaving brief red marks on his skin. He pressed into her, his kiss tender but his movements firm. He moved his knee between her legs, in just the way he knew she liked.

He felt her pleasure explode against him, reverberating through his body. Her fingers gripped harder and she cried out.

Then her grip eased and she pulled back to grin at him. She exchanged glances with Rajan and her grin widened. Rajan shifted back a little and Kala pushed Wolfgang onto his back. Wolfgang laughed, catching her thought.

He watched her make his way down his body. Rajan watched too, his tongue sneaking out to lick his lips as she took Wolfgang’s cock into her mouth. Wolfgang reached for her, smoothing his hands through her dark curls. He loved it when she did this. Their connection flowed through them, allowing her to know exactly what he liked.

The image of her using her beautiful mouth to give him pleasure was one of his favourite things in the world. Rajan cupped his chin, kissing his jaw and his neck and Wolfgang was caught between them both, the two loves of his life.

Rajan’s hand slid across his stomach, fingertips tracing the low scar on his stomach, the way he often did. Wolfgang had a few scars but he was proud of that one; it showed that he’d do anything for his loves.

His eyes closed as he felt his pleasure building. Kala was all soft heat and firm pressure. One hand buried in her hair and the other curling round Rajan to hold him close, he heard himself whimpering. Their touches lit fire across his body and he couldn’t resist it. He cried out loud as his orgasm took over his body. Kala swallowed him down and Wolfgang got a hold of himself just in time to see her mischievous grin as she wiped her mouth. That was another of his favourite sights.

Wolfgang suddenly couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. He reached for Rajan but he felt sapped of all his energy.

‘I should…’ he murmured.

Rajan caught his meaning and kissed his mouth sweetly. ‘Hush my love. Go to sleep. I’m fine.’

‘Sorry,’ Wolfgang managed.

Though as he drifted to sleep, he knew Rajan would be taken care of. He could feel Kala turning her attention to him now.

He was nearly asleep before Rajan came but, through Kala, he kissed his lover, leaving him in no doubt that he was loved.

Rajan kissed her, then him. Kala snuggled up on one side of Wolfgang and Rajan cleaned them up and pulled the covers over them before he too settled down beside him. Wolfgang relaxed into the calmness of sleep, wrapped in the arms of his lovers.


	53. Chapter 53

_He is walking through a dark corridor. There is mist or fog clouding the space and dimming the lights. He squints into the darkness but he cannot see._

_He can hear someone. He can hear their breathing close beside him. He can feel their heart beating fast. Or is that his own?_

_There is fear. It tastes like copper in his mouth. He is ready to fight, to defeat the enemy but he can’t see one._

_He knows he needs to protect the man walking close to him._

_He looks to his side but he can’t see his companion. He knows they are friends, more than that. They have been lovers. They have trusted each other with their darkest secrets. They are family. He has to protect him._

_He knows the blue eyes he cannot see. He reaches out and grasps the hand he knows, the hand that fits easily in his. They have held hands in moments of love, and in moments of fear. This is both._

_His eyes detect movement in the fog and he braces himself. The enemy is here._

_The hand is yanked away from him and alarm catches his breathing, squeezes his heart. He pushes forward, searching for his friend, the man he has to protect. He loves him. He cannot let him fall to the enemy._

_He calls his name but there is no response. He hears a cry. Fear. Pain. Desperation._

_What can he do? He must fight but he cannot see the enemy. How can he fight an enemy he cannot see? An enemy that only exists in their heads?_

_The cry becomes words. His name. A plea for help. He calls again into the darkness, desperate to find his friend._

_But he is nowhere. He has been taken._

Wolfgang woke with Will’s name on his lips and his heart hammering in his chest. His breathing came hard and he had to fight to control it as the fear of the dream ebbed away. 

But he could still feel Will’s fear. He could still hear his name in Will’s voice. It was in his head but he knew it was real. 

He got up and pulled on jogging pants. Silently he crept out of his bedroom to the room where Will and Riley were sleeping. 

He crept inside and found that Will was whimpering quietly in his sleep. Riley was sleeping. Wolfgang crossed to Will’s side of the bed and leaned into him. He whispered close to his ear. 

‘Will, you need to wake up now.’

Will’s eyes flew open, as though he had been waiting for Wolfgang to call his name. He stared at Wolfgang for a moment, his eyes wide with fear. He was panting and his skin was glistening with fear-induced sweat. 

He reached out for Wolfgang, his fingers closing around Wolfgang’s bare bicep. He held tight, as though he expected Wolfgang to float away if he didn’t hold on. 

‘It’s okay,’ Wolfgang said. ‘Just a dream.' 

Will swallowed, then released Wolfgang and brought his hands up to cover his face. He rubbed his eyes, his breathing still ragged. Wolfgang watched him and saw that he was trembling. 

‘He was here.’

‘I know. Come on. You need some air.’

Will dropped his hands and looked at him. ‘Where we going?’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘Let’s go for a run.’

Ten minutes later, they were outside, jogging along the pavement side by side. Wolfgang set the pace: steady but fast enough to blow the cobwebs away. Will was faster than Rajan, who Wolfgang had to go a little slower for when they ran together. 

This reminded Wolfgang of last summer. For a while he’d been in the habit of going for runs in the middle of the night, when his nightmares had troubled him.

Sometimes Will or Sun had joined him in his mind. Other times Rajan had woken up to come with him. One memorable occasion, Felix had come but he’d given up halfway saying it wasn’t worth getting that sweaty unless he was playing football or fucking some beautiful woman. 

Will didn’t really speak as they ran. Wolfgang understood. He was focusing too much on running from his fear to make conversation.

Wolfgang was happy to give him his time. He understood. The predawn air was cool on their faces and there was a slight breeze. It woke them up properly and drove the nightmare away. 

He led Will to a place he went sometimes. It was a small park, with a heavy covering of trees on one side and green grass on the other. A path led through the middle. There was a children’s playground there, empty at that time of night of course. Sometimes, Wolfgang stopped there, to smoke and think. He liked sitting on the swings and feeling them sway gently beneath him. 

Will followed his lead unquestioningly, but hesitated when he turned off the path and slowed to a walk. 

‘What are we doing?’

‘Sitting,’ replied Wolfgang. 

He sat down on a swing. He didn’t have any cigarettes but it didn’t really matter. He didn’t really want one. 

Will hesitated, then sat on the swing beside him. 

‘I used to like the swings,’ he said. ‘Not that my dad took me to the park very often.’

‘There was a park near my house,’ said Wolfgang. ‘I took myself. It was a good place to fuck.’

Will glanced at him. ‘When did sex become more than a hobby for you? Who was the first person you slept with that you really cared about?’

Wolfgang looked at him. ‘Kala.’

Will blinked in surprise.

‘Really? There was no high school girlfriend or boyfriend?’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘No. There was just fucking. Sometimes one night, sometimes more but it was always just fucking.’ He frowned, looking down at his hands. ‘It wasn’t that I didn’t give a fuck about them. They were all nice and I wouldn’t have hurt any of them. It was just, I didn’t have space for them.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘I didn’t have room in my life, or my heart for them. I was too busy trying to survive, trying to keep myself together. What about you? Have you been in love before?’

‘I thought I had... but nothing compares to how I feel about Riley. It’s stronger with her than anything I’ve felt before.’

‘It’s kind of overwhelming, isn’t it?’

Will nodded, looking down at his feet. His trainers trailed against the rubber ground beneath the swing. ‘What are we going to do, Wolfe? We know Whispers is still there. We have to keep them safe.’

‘We’ll use the machine. Kala and Nomi seem sure it’ll help. I dunno, I guess we have to be strong, keep pushing him out.’ He glanced at Will. ‘You did that before. He was there, watching you in your head for a year and you resisted him. You can do it again.’

‘I don’t know. It seems different this time. Its harder to fight a ghost.’

‘He’s weaker now. Since Dacian killed himself. He’s little more than an echo now. We can push him out.’

Will sighed. ‘I hope you’re right. I wish Jonas was here. He might have known what to do.’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes. ‘He probably wouldn’t have told us though. He always spoke in riddles. I’m just glad fucking Lila is dead. She would have made things even more difficult.’

Will nodded. The silence hung between them for a long moment as they both thought about how much worse Lila would have made things. 

‘Small mercies,’ said Wolfgang. 

Will didn’t reply. He stood suddenly and stretched.

‘Come on, time to get back. I think I could go back to sleep now.’

Wolfgang nodded. ‘Race you back!’ he said and before Will could reply, he took off. He grinned as he heard Will swear and tear off after him.

‘Come on, Schnecke!’ he called, laughing as he felt Will’s outrage and his determination to beat him home. He didn’t know that Wolfgang was going to let him. 


	54. Chapter 54

The flat was still dark and quiet when Will and Wolfgang returned. But Riley came down the stairs to meet them. Her gaze ran searchingly over Will.

‘You all right, elsken min?’

He nodded but reached for Riley and tugged her to him. They held each other and Wolfgang felt the remainder of Will’s anxiety float away. He smiled and rested his hand on the small of Riley’s back.

‘I’d take him for a shower if I were you, Riles. He’s built up a bit of a sweat trying to keep up with me.’

‘Oi,’ objected Will.

Wolfgang grinned. ‘Enjoy your shower.’

He headed upstairs. When he stepped into the bedroom, Kala was sitting up in bed, hugging her knees. She smiled at him, but he could feel her worry.

‘Have you been for a run?’ she asked.

‘Will and I had to clear our heads.’

‘Did you have a nightmare?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘Sort of. I need a shower.’

He headed to the ensuite. He stripped off, chucked his clothes in the laundry basket and stepped into the large shower. As he ran the hot water, he felt the sudden surge of arousal in his body. He grinned as he stepped underneath the hot spray. Riley was comforting Will in the shower.

His erection made itself know and he wished he’d asked Kala to join him.

‘I still can,’ she whispered in his ear. Her breath was hot on his neck and the kiss that followed her words was sweet.

He grinned at her. ‘Then what are you waiting for?’

She disappeared and, a moment later, reappeared at the bathroom door, fully there and gloriously naked. His gaze took in every inch of her. Just the sight of her made his heart race. He had never thought he could love anyone as much as he loved her but there she was and he only had to look at her to know he could never deny it. He was hers completely.

She smiled, her dark eyes alight with joy and he knew she felt what he was feeling. More than simply sharing it, she felt it too, as strongly as he did.

She stepped forward and joined him under the spray. She kissed him, all warmth and softness. Her hands explored him, with gentle touches. With surprising strength she pushed him into the wall. Her eyes were bright and she grinned mischievously at him. Then she was on him, kissing him fiercely, like she hadn’t seen him for months.

He reached for her, settling his hands at her slim waist. She fit so easily in his arms, like they were meant to be there. He’d never believed in fate; he believed in sorting things out for yourself. But if there was one thing he knew in this fucked up world it was that he and Kala were perfect for each other. He’d known it from the first moment he’d seen her, in that Indian restaurant, as his one-night stand had sat across from him and asked him what he was looking for. He’d never known until he’d seen her. Kala. And now she was his everything.

He buried his hands in her wet hair and returned her fierce kisses. She pressed her body against her and he got breathless as he felt her softness against him.

Her skin was wet beneath his hands. He broke their kiss to turn his attention to her body. He kissed her shoulder tenderly and grinned as she gasped. She rested her head against the wall, giving him access to her neck. He chuckled. He knew she loved it when he paid attention to her neck.

Her eyes drifted closed in anticipation and he smirked, before leaning in and licking a path up her throat, chasing the droplets of water across her skin.

Suddenly, the skin he was kissing was white and Riley was moaning against him. He grinned, pushing roughly against their thighs and chuckling as both their moans echoed in his ears.

He felt the familiar warmth of Will behind him. He moved against Wolfgang, his hand grazing his hip. He kissed his shoulder tenderly and Wolfgang felt him so strongly. For a moment, the connection between the four of them was so strong that they lost themselves in each other and they could no longer separate one person from another.

They exchanged kisses and touches, sensations and emotions blooming between them, overriding everything else. There was only each other’s minds and bodies, mingling together.

Wolfgang sharpened his focus onto Kala but Will and Riley were still with them as Wolfgang slipped his hands around Kala’s thighs and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him and they looked into each other’s eyes. Her eyes were bright with joy and love.

Fuck, he loved her so much. All he wanted was to make her happy and in that moment, that meant fucking her against that shower wall as she writhed with pleasure and moaned his name.

She smirked at him and he knew she had caught his thought. ‘So what are you waiting for?’ she asked, her mischievous grin widening.

He grinned. He _really_ fucking loved her. He trailed his fingers across the underneath of her thighs and watched the shiver of pleasure that passed through her body.

Watching her face, he guided himself inside her. She bit her lip, holding onto his shoulders tightly. She pulled at him and he started to move. Again they could feel Will and Riley with them, making love in their own shower.

Wolfgang thrust deep and slow, watching her expression shift as he gave her pleasure. He smiled as he saw Will slide his hands through Riley’s hair as he fucked her into the wall. She was moaning, pulling at him, desperate for more of him. He kissed her and with that kiss, he was kissing Wolfgang and Kala too.

Their pleasure mingled and Wolfgang could no longer tell whose was whose. Kala tugged at him and he moved quicker, his own need driving him as much as hers. Her legs were tight around him and her fingers gripped his wet shoulders tightly.

He could feel she was getting close. The combined pleasure of him, Will and Riley in addition to her own was driving her toward her orgasm. He claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss. She responded eagerly as he thrust deep but fast now. He could feel the tingling of her body through their connection and the trembling of her thighs in his hands. Her pleasure flowed through him and he couldn’t hold it together anymore.

‘Liebe,’ he gasped, as their shared orgasm began to overwhelm him. ‘Liebe dich.’

She moaned and writhed between him and the wall as he thrust deep and hard. Her fingers pressed hard into his skin and she came with his name on her lips. He thrust twice more and his moans joined hers, echoing against the tiled wall.

He released her thighs and she slid her legs down. She cupped his face, catching droplets of water on her fingers. She murmured her love to him in Hindi and he smiled. He loved hearing her beautiful voice using her mother tongue.

They kissed leisurely as the water poured down on them. She pulled back to look at him. ‘You all right?’ she asked, softly.

He smiled. ‘Perfect.’ He stroked her face, tucking a wet curl behind her ear. ‘I could never tell you _how much_ I love you,’ he said and he could hear the intensity in his own voice.

She smiled and he could feel how intensely she felt his love. They finished their shower and stepped out. He passed over her clean white bathrobe and reached for his own towel from the heated rail.

_She is beautiful._

Wolfgang closed his eyes as that slimy, hateful voice slipped into his head.

_Such a shame I never got to slice her open on my table._

‘Shut up,’ he snapped.

Kala stopped brushing her hair and looked at him. ‘What’s the matter?’

Wolfgang shook his head but didn’t reply.

_I could make you do it. I could make you tie her down and slice her brain open while she’s still conscious._

‘I’ll fucking kill you, you bastard.’

Kala reached for him, tugging his hand firmly. ‘Snap out of it, Wolfgang. It’s okay.’

Wolfgang pressed his face to her damp neck. ‘It’s not. He wants me to cut you open.’

She combed her fingers through his wet hair. ‘It doesn’t matter what he wants. He has no control here and we’re going to get rid of him.’

He held onto her and hoped she was right.


	55. Chapter 55

Only Kala, Rajan, Nomi and Riley came with Will and Wolfgang to the lab later that day. Everybody else went out to do some sightseeing, at Wolfgang’s request. He was nervous, thought he wouldn’t admit it, not out loud.

He kept remembering the pain and distress that had been forced on him by that machine the last time. It had made him feel weak and frightened and he didn’t particularly want everybody to see him like that.

River met them in the foyer. She looked nervous and Wolfgang remembered with guilt the way he’d shout at her the day before. She hadn’t deserved that. But she smiled warmly at him. ‘You’re looking better today, Wolfgang.’

He nodded. ‘I’ve been home.’

‘We have apprehended two more traitors, both scientists who worked in our labs under The Cannibal. We believe they were involved in experiments which led to him, or a part of him, being able to exist in Dacian’s mind. Dacian wasn’t complicit in this. We believe he was struggling against The Cannibal since you blew that helicopter up.’

‘These traitors,’ said Will. ‘Were they Sensates or Sapiens?’

River looked gravely at him. ‘Sapiens, what I believe is the last hold out from the days of The Chairman and The Cannibal.’

‘It’d better had be,’ murmured Will, an edge to his voice. ‘Because I don’t want anything else happening to my cluster.’

River met his eyes and nodded slowly. ‘I understand. I am so sorry this happened.’

‘Well now we need to undo the damage,’ said Will.

Wolfgang glanced at him, surprised at Will’s harsh tone. His protective nature was coming out.

‘Come on, Will,’ he said. ‘Let’s get this bastard out of our heads now.’

‘I’d like to send some of my people in with you to help you with this,’ River said.

‘No,’ said Wolfgang, his voice hard. ‘None of you people are coming near any of us ever again.’

He felt the cluster with him in that moment and every single one of them agreed with him. He took Kala’s hand and they walked into the lab, with the others following them. When Nomi, who was the last inside, shut the door behind them, Wolfgang groaned, running his hands through his hair.

‘I probably shouldn’t have said that. It’s not her fault.’

‘You’re right though,’ said Nomi. ‘There’s danger everywhere for us and I’m not sure we can trust anyone but each other.’

Wolfgang looked around at them. All the cluster looked back at him. He felt their fear mixing with his and he knew they were of one mind. They could only rely on themselves now.

Nomi crossed to the desk, where the machine was sitting. ‘We’d better make a start.’ She bit her lip and looked between Will and Wolfgang. ‘We’re not entirely sure how this process is going to work. We’re aiming to induce good memories but there is a possibility that bad ones will find their way through.’

‘I can handle it,’ said Will and Wolfgang together.

Nomi glanced at the others, then stepped towards Wolfgang. She laid her hand on his chest and looked into his eyes. ‘Wolfgang, we all know how many bad memories you’ve got. Nobody would blame you if you didn’t want to do this yet.’

‘I can handle it.’

Kala took his hand. ‘If it’s too hard, you can wait.’

Rajan rested his hand in the small of his back. ‘We can get Corrine here, or Will can do it first, until they’re sure it works.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘No. I can do it.’ He glanced around at them all. Eight people he loved gazed back at him and he smiled. ‘I’m not alone.’

He pulled away from Kala and Rajan and crossed to the bed. As he sat on it, Will crossed to him and laid his hand on his shoulder.

‘You sure about this? I can go first if you want.’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I have to do it sooner or later. This thing started with me; it can end now.’ He smirked at Will. ‘It’s not like this thing can fuck me up anymore, is it?’

Will clearly didn’t know how to reply to that but he held Wolfgang’s gaze for a moment before he stepped away.

Nomi and Kala came to his side and started hooking up the machine. ‘Childhood memories can be very strong,’ said Nomi gently. ‘If... If you want to keep your mind away from particular memories, choose something else from that time to focus on.’

‘Use your senses,’ said Kala. ‘If there is a particular scent or sound that will help you connect, use it. The stronger the memory is, the better this will work.’

‘There’s a song my mother used to sing to me when I was little. Sometimes Oma visited and I remember them drinking coffee and singing to me together.’

‘Sleep, sweet fine boy,’ said Kala softly. He smiled as he remembered sharing that memory with her before, in a quiet moment late one night, when he had been struggling to sleep.

‘Close your eyes,’ Kala said. ‘And just focus on your memory.’

There was a moment’s pause, then he heard the faint electronic whine of the machine. Panic jerked in his throat as his body expected pain but then a soft, sweet voice he loved filled the room.

_Schlafe, schlafe, holder, süßer Knabe,_

_Leise wiegt dich deiner Mutter Hand;_

_Sanfte Ruhe, milde Labe_

_Bringt dir schwebend dieses Wiegenband_.

It was Kala, singing the lullaby he remembered so well. He closed his eyes and he was back in his old house, back in East Berlin, when Oma had still visited.

_A fire roars in the fireplace, throwing cosy heat out into the clean room. The strong, bitter scent of the coffee fills the room but the scent that tickles his nostrils and makes him want to sneeze is the sweet spicy scent of Oma’s perfume. It hangs around her in a cloud but he loves it, because it is Oma._

_Her strong arms hold him firmly but gently onto her lap and she cradles him against her bosom. He traces the light wrinkles on her pale neck and feels the rumble of her voice through her skin._

_‘Mäuschen, you are restless,’ she murmurs._

_‘Anton will be home soon,’ says Mama and his heart pounds with a dark dread._

_‘Shush, Irina, do not speak to me of that man. Come my Mäuschen, it is time for sleep. I will sing to you and you will sleep for your mama. You will sleep until he is gone drinking again,’ Oma says, firmly. Her voice is always firm when she speaks of his father._

_Schlafe, schlafe in dem süßen Grabe,_

_Noch beschützt dich deiner Mutter Arm;_

_Alle Wünsche, alle Habe_

_Faßt sie liebend, alle liebewarm._

_Oma's singing voice is rough and grainy but also soft and sweet. He loves that voice and there is nowhere he feels safer than in her arms._

_He knows there is badness beyond that door. There is fear. There is pain. There is his father. There are those dark whispers somewhere in his mind. There is Whispers._

_But Oma’s voice drives all of that away. Mama sings too and that other voice he loves. Kala. She will keep him safe. No one can touch him here. No one can hurt him._

_Schlafe, schlafe in der Flaumen Schooße,_

_Noch umtönt dich lauter Liebeston;_

_Eine Lilie, eine Rose,_

_Nach dem Schlafe werd’ sie dir zum Lohn._


	56. Chapter 56

Will stood near Wolfgang, watching as he experienced his memories. His body was still, relaxed and calm. Will smiled; it was good to see him so peaceful. He could feel the memory. It was warm and cosy, full of love.

Yet there was the shadow of fear in Wolfgang’s mind. That was something Will had felt before from his friend, whenever he thought about his past.

Kala came to the end of the song and glanced at Nomi. ‘I think it’s working.’

Nomi nodded. ‘It’s a strong memory.’

‘How do we know it’s working?’ asked Will anxiously.

‘By comparing our readings now to those we took yesterday. This brainwave pattern here, that’s Whispers. If you look, it’s weaker with the good memories.’

‘What if the bad ones come through?’

‘We think they make him stronger,’ said Kala, her gaze focused on Wolfgang.

_With Oma and Mama, he knows he is safe. But he also knows it cannot last forever._ He _will come home. He will be drinking. He will be angry. About something, about nothing. It doesn’t matter. He is always angry._

 _The door slams open and he flinches against Oma. Her arms go around him more firmly and he looks up at her. She is glaring at_ him _. He’s drunk already, swaying in the doorway. There is vomit clinging to his unshaven face and his brow is creased in anger._

_‘What are you doing here, you whore? You’re not fucking welcome here.’_

_‘Anton, she just came to visit,’ says Mama._

_‘Then she can fuck off again.’_

_Oma holds Wolfgang tight. ‘I’ve come to see my daughter and my grandson.’_

_His father smirks. ‘They’re not yours, bitch.’_

_Oma stands up, standing Wolfgang beside her. He grips her hand tightly and looks at Mama. She is frightened but nothing frightens Oma. He knows that. He wants to be strong and brave like Oma._

_But his father is big and scary and he makes his tummy feel squirmy. He is pain and that dark dread._

_‘They are my flesh and blood,’ says Oma. ‘And I will not abandon them because you say so.’_

_His father lunges and grabs a handful of Oma’s hair._

_‘Anton, please!’ Mama begs._

_Oma gasps in pain, fighting to free herself._

_‘Stop it, stop it!’ Wolfgang yells._

_His father shoves Oma away. She cries out as she stumbles against the table and falls, sending the coffee cups crashing to the floor. His father turns on him, grabbing his arm with a bruising grip._

_‘Look at her, boy.’_

_Wolfgang doesn't want to look. Oma is hurt and he can't help her. His father grabs a handful of his hair and yanks his head round to look._

_‘Look at your Oma,’ he hisses. His breath makes Wolfgang recoil. ‘She’s a bitch and a whore and if she comes back here again I’m going to kill her.’_

_Oma struggles to her feet. Wolfgang feels a throb of fear go through him as he sees the blood dribbling from a cut on her forehead. ‘Anton, please let the boy go.’_

_His father lets him go but only to grab Oma again. Mama is crying but doesn’t dare to anything to stop it. The bruises are still fading from last time._

_‘He’s my son, you bitch. My fucking son and I can do what I like with him.’_

_He yanks her towards the door. ‘Now, get the fuck out.’_

_Oma fights and protests but he is stronger than anyone and he shoves her out of the door, locking it behind her. He turns to Mama and sneers at her._

_‘Clean yourself up, woman. I want you in there,’ he says, then stumbles off to their bedroom._

‘Oma,’ gasped Wolfgang, coming back into the room with a jerk. His heart was racing and he could feel his face was wet. He was aware of the others in the room, all watching him. He wiped his face impatiently.

Kala slipped her hand through his. ‘It’s all right,’ she murmured. ‘You’re safe.’

‘The pattern spiked then,’ said Nomi.

‘Yeah. It turned into a not-so-nice memory,’ said Wolfgang. ‘Let’s try something else.’

‘What about something more recent?’ said Rajan. He came to Wolfgang’s side and traced a finger across his cheek. Wolfgang looked up at him from the bed. ‘What about something with us, or the cluster?’

Wolfgang sighed. ‘I’ll try.’

‘Just one more,’ said Will, firmly. ‘Then I’ll try.’

Wolfgang pressed his lips together and nodded. ‘Right.’

He closed his eyes again.

 _You can’t do it_ , whispered that voice he hated with all his strength. _What happiness do you have in your memories? What true happiness have you ever had?_

‘That’s not true,’ he told the voice.

He felt the others looking at him in concern. He covered his face with his hands and tired to ignore the voice. He tried to focus on finding a good, happy memory, something with his cluster, his true family. But he couldn’t think of anything. He couldn’t think of one single memory that couldn’t turn on him.

_How do you expect to get rid of me when you can’t even think of one single happy memory? What use are you? Your father was right about you. You’re a worthless little bitch. You can’t even protect those you love from a dead man._

The voice was right. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do anything. They should have left him to rot in that cell.

He barely knew what he was doing. He only knew he had to get out. He ripped off the electrodes, scrambled off the bed and out the door.

Several familiar voices called his name but he couldn’t listen to any of them. All he could focus on was getting out, into the air. He shot out the main door and felt along the wall.

He slid down until he reached the floor. The fresh air on his face brought him back to himself and he groaned as he realised what had happened. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his head in his arms.

‘Fuck,’ he muttered into the stillness.

A dark chuckle reverberated through his mind and he knew the word he heard was the truth. _Worthless_.


	57. Chapter 57

Wolfgang wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there when he became aware of another person near him. He didn’t look but he knew the presence was a safe one, one he loved. He kept hugging his knees and not looking up.

With a soft sigh, Rajan sat down beside him and put his arm around his shoulders. Wolfgang leaned into him, focusing on the feel of that firm embrace. Eventually, he raised his head and stared straight ahead.

‘I’m all right,’ he said, defiantly.

‘I know,’ said Rajan, patiently.

Wolfgang glanced at him. ‘I didn’t break it, did I?’

Rajan shook his head. ‘No. Will’s using it now.’

‘I should go back in.’

‘There’s no rush. Let’s just stay out here for a bit, take the air.’

Wolfgang let out a long, slow breath and dropped his knees, laying his legs out in front of him.

‘It’s not like I don’t have any good memories from being a kid. It’s … just … there was always a kind of dread.’

‘Because something bad could happen any time.’

‘Yeah. It infected everything.’ He looked down at his hands as he twisted his fingers together. ‘This past year, it’s been the first time I haven’t felt like something bad was going to happen all the time.’

Rajan removed his arm from around Wolfgang’s shoulders and took his hand in between both of his. ‘Then think about when this year started.’ He smiled and looked into Wolfgang’s eyes. ‘Remember the wedding reception? I was still so nervous of you, even after all that time visiting Kala in hospital together.’

Wolfgang’s eyes narrowed. ‘You were nervous of me?’

‘Of course! You were sexy and confident and kind of mysterious and pretty badass.’

Wolfgang laughed. ‘So that’s why you asked me into your bed.’

Rajan grinned. ‘Well, it wasn’t just for Kala. I mean, I’d do almost anything for her but … I wanted you.’ 

Wolfgang ran the fingers of his free hand along Rajan’s wrist. ‘So, now you’ve found out how fucked up I am and that my confidence is all an act, do you regret it?’

Rajan reached up and caressed Wolfgang’s cheek. ‘Not for a single second.’

Wolfgang searched his face and saw only truth. He cupped his jaw and tugged him close. He kissed him deep and slow. His feelings pulsed through him and he hoped Rajan could feel it. It was a different love than what he felt for Kala but it was just as strong and he hoped Rajan knew that.

They parted but Wolfgang didn’t pull away yet. He cupped Rajan’s cheek and pressed their foreheads together.

‘I love you,’ he whispered, in soft Hindi.

Rajan closed his eyes and breathed him in. ‘Ich Liebe dich,’ he replied, in perfect German.

Wolfgang grinned, pulling away a little. ‘Your accent’s improved.’

Rajan shrugged. ‘I have a good teacher.’

Wolfgang gave him an affectionate smile then stood, tugging Rajan up with him. ‘Come on. I’m ready to go back in now.’

Back inside, Wolfgang watched Will. He was still and calm and there was a gentle smile on his face. Wolfgang closed his eyes and he could feel Will’s memory. He knew the cluster had been able to feel his as well. It was hard to hide things from them. Thought and feeling and memory seemed to slide from one to another seamlessly and effortlessly.

He saw Will as a small boy, all wide blue eyes and a shock of fair hair. He looked innocent and carefree, a content and happy boy. Wolfgang envied him that feeling.

_Will sits on the floor, toy cars spread out over a playmat printed with a childish town map. Wolfgang thinks he looks young, maybe four or five._

_He looks happy. He hums to himself as he drives his toy cars up and down the roads. He makes zooming noises when he races the cars and when he picks up the police car, he imitates the siren. The noise is jubilant and fearless._

_Wolfgang looks around the room. A woman is sitting on the sofa, reading a book. She keeps glancing at Will and smiling whenever she turns the page. Wolfgang tries to remember his mother being so relaxed but he can’t. She never sat and read. If his father was out and he was playing, she’d sit and stare in watchful silence, flinching at any unexpected sound._

_Will’s mom doesn’t flinch. She sits back in her seat, her slippered feet resting on a footstool._

_Will crashes his cars together, imitating the boom of an explosion. Then he abandons his cars and climbs up onto the sofa beside his mom._

_‘Mommy! I’m hungry!’ he declares. ‘When’s Daddy coming home?’_

_She smiles indulgently and puts her arm around him, tugging him in for a cuddle. ‘Soon, baby, really soon.’_

_Will smiles and cuddles up happily. Wolfgang feels both his contentment from being with his mom and his excitement about his dad coming home._

_The front door slams and Wolfgang flinches but Will leaps up and runs to the door._

_‘Daddy!’ he yells, leaping into Michael Gorski’s arms. His daddy hugs him back and kisses his blond head._

Wolfgang pulled away from the memory and found himself standing beside Will, his hand on his shoulder. Riley was next to him, holding his hand. Still deep in the memory, Will sighed contentedly and Wolfgang felt a pull in his mind as a piece of Whispers released its hold on Will. They were doing it. Will was going to be free.

Wolfgang felt Kala close by him. She slid her arm around his waist and held him. Her warmth covered him like a blanket.

‘We’ll get you free too,’ she murmured.

He put his arm around her and held her close. He appreciated her words and he comfort but he knew it wasn’t going to be as easy for him.

Will opened his eyes and sat up. ‘Is it working?’

Kala smiled. ‘It looks like it. Whispers’ pattern is becoming weaker.’

‘I felt a piece of him go,’ said Wolfgang.

‘So did I,’ said Riley. She squeezed Will’s hand encouragingly.

‘What about Wolfgang?’ asked Capheus.

‘We need to help him find his good memories,’ said Lito.

‘They are there,’ said Sun, squeezing Wolfgang’s shoulder.

‘We’ve been with you for many good moments,’ said Kala.

‘I’ve had an idea,’ said Nomi. Everyone looked at her and she smiled. ‘We’re stronger together, aren’t we? If we all remember together, we can help Wolfgang keep the happiness of the memory strong.’ She looked at Wolfgang. ‘Is there a particular memory you want to try?’

Wolfgang glanced at Rajan, who nodded encouragingly. Wolfgang turns back to Nomi and grinned. ‘Your wedding reception. We were all happy and free. We were all together.’


	58. Chapter 58

Wolfgang lowered himself back onto the bed with a familiar sense of dread. The memory they were focusing on was good, one of his best, but he didn’t trust his own mind. He knew how easily it betrayed him.

But the cluster was all there and Rajan was standing with Kala beside the bed. Will was standing on his other side, next to Riley who was finding the right song. Nomi was reattaching the electrodes. As she finished, she laid a gentle hand on his arm.

‘If you need to get out, just say. We can have you out in two seconds.’

Wolfgang nodded and gave her half a grin. ‘I’ll try not to break it.’

He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of his loved ones around him. Riley started playing a song and a smile spread across his face as he recognised it. Within a few bars, he was right back in that night.

_Dance with me, my old friend_

_Once before we go_

_Let’s pretend this song won’t end_

_And we never have to go home_

_And we’ll dance among the chandeliers_

_And nothing matters when we’re dancing_

_In tat or tatters you’re entrancing_

_Be we in Paris or in Lansing_

_Nothing matters when we’re dancing_

_The scent of the fireworks still lingers and the music floats across the still night air. Wolfgang gazes at the vision of Kala dancing in front of him. She smiles as he laces his fingers through hers and sways with her._

_Rajan is with them too, his hands resting on her waist. He nuzzles into her, breathing in the scent of her hair. He is gentle and loving with her; it is obvious how much he loves Kala._

_Wolfgang watches him. He is married to the love of Wolfgang’s life. He should feel jealous or competitive but he doesn’t. He can feel how much Kala loves them both. It is so strong that she doesn’t know what to do._

_He grins. Kala is not good at making decisions. She talks herself in circles. He can feel her confusion. He gives her a warm smile as he leans in to kiss her cheek. She beams at him, reaching up to stroke his stubbled cheek. She leans into him and he slides his hand around her waist. She presses close to him and he can feel her happiness._

_It seems so simple to him. She loves them both. They both love her. Why choose?_

_But maybe it’s different for Rajan. Wolfgang just does what he feels but he knows not everyone does that. Other people care about following the rules they have been given. Does Rajan?_

_He glances at Rajan to find him watching him. Their eyes meet and the other man smiles. Wolfgang feels a pull low in his belly. Rajan is hot. Not his usual type but this is different._

_Kala pulls away. ‘It’s so warm tonight, or it’s all the dancing. I need a sit down and a drink.’_

_Rajan stays on the dancefloor so Wolfgang does too. He can keep this up all night. Rajan’s gaze follows him as they dance to the fast song. Rajan is following his movements, moving closer to him. Wolfgang finds himself grinning at him. This man, who had saved his life, who hasn’t been jealous or possessive over his wife for a single moment, this man who loves Kala with all his being. How could he not like this man?_

_They’ve all had more than a couple of glasses of champagne and Wolfgang feels light and happy. Everybody he loves is here. He can feel them all around him and their happiness adds to his own. He cannot imagine being any happier._

_Rajan reaches for him, grinning and pulls him into a hug. It feels friendly, affectionate, but there is something else there too. Electricity. Is he the only one who feels it?_

_Rajan grins at him again as he pulls back and there is a warm look in his eyes. Wolfgang’s skin tingles as Rajan’s hand brushes his._

_Later, after some of the guests have already gone home, Wolfgang is standing with Sun, sharing a cigarette with her._

_‘It’s good to be happy,’ she says._

_He grins at her, passing over the cigarette. ‘It is.’_

_Sun glances over at where Kala is talking to Will. ‘She doesn’t want to choose.’_

_Wolfgang watches the woman he loves and there is that warmth in his belly again and that feeling that life without her would be worth nothing. ‘I don’t want her to choose.’_

_He starts as he realises that Rajan has appeared out of the smaller crowd and is making his way over. Sun raises her eyebrow at him._

_‘Talk to him,’ she says, before sneaking off with his cigarette._

_There is no time to call after her because Rajan has reached him. Wolfgang leans against the wall behind him._

_‘I think everybody’s going to head back now,’ Rajan says._

_Wolfgang nodded. ‘It’s getting late.’_

_Rajan leans against the wall beside him. Their shoulders touch and Wolfgang feels sparks again. He feels Rajan take a sharp breath, like some feeling has taken him by surprise. ‘I thought you might like to come back with us.’_

_Wolfgang turns to look at him and their eyes meet. Rajan licks his lips and, for a moment, it feels like he’s going to lean in and kiss him._

_But then he looks away. ‘For Kala, you know.’_

_Wolfgang feels a strange mix of hope and disappointment. ‘Yeah. I’ll come back with you.’_

_Rajan smiles, then his hand brushes Wolfgang’s again and hope pulses in Wolfgang._

Wolfgang came back to the present with a smile on his face and his smile widened as he felt Rajan’s hand in his. He knew it was impossible but he felt like Rajan had felt the memory just the way the cluster had.

He started to sit up to look around but as he did so, he felt a pull in his belly and in his mind at the same time. He heard his own voice cry out in pain. He felt faint suddenly and his vision swam. 

‘Woah,’ said Will, grabbing hold of his shoulder just in time to stop him slumping sideways.

Wolfgang gripped his arm tight, trying to ground himself. Rajan was still holding his other hand and he felt Kala’s hand on his thigh.

‘You all right?’

Wolfgang nodded as he slowly began to feel normal again. No, not quite normal. He opened his eyes and looked at Will. ‘Do you feel that?’

Will stared back at him and Wolfgang saw realisation dawn on his face.

‘Whispers. That was another piece of him?’

Wolfgang nodded. He looked at Nomi. ‘That’s right, isn’t it?’

‘Lie back down and I’ll have a look.’

Wolfgang did as he was told. Nomi reattached the couple of electrodes that had come off when he’d sat up, and examined her readings.

‘Kala, are you seeing what I’m seeing?’

Kala gasped, then smiled. ‘I can’t see the other pattern anymore. Is he gone?’

‘He’ll never truly be gone,’ said a steady voice they all recognised. They all turned to look and Bodhi smiled at them. ‘But that doesn’t mean you can’t defeat him.’


	59. Chapter 59

They blinked and the next moment, they were no longer in the lab. Rajan was gone and it was just the eight of them in that ruined abbey in front of The Lacuna.

Wolfgang looked at The Mother and felt a strange mix of feelings. He felt his own friendly interest in her as an ally but underneath there was an ambivalent mix of love and hate. It startled him and he didn’t understand it. He glanced at Will, who was staring straight ahead and not looking at him.

‘Can you help us defeat Whispers?’ Will asked.

The Mother looked back at him, considering him for a long moment but she didn’t speak.

Then she turned her attention to Wolfgang and her eyes burned into him. It was like looking at his father and his mama and himself. Her blue gaze fixed on him, like ice and fire. She was Corinne, demanding answers from him; she was Whispers murmuring cold, cruel lies into his ears; she was Angelica, loving him with all of herself, giving her life to protect him.

He wanted to look away. He wanted to weep, fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He wanted to strike her, to wrap his hands around her throat and choke the life out of her.

But he could do nothing.

She rose from her seat and stepped across the ancient paving towards him. He took a sharp breath and all his instincts told him to run. But still he could do nothing.

She reached him and looked up into his face. She cupped his cheek and it was a mother’s touch, soft and loving but also firm. He felt small, disgraced but also loved.

He felt Kala step closer to him and he could feel her protectiveness. Will was close to him as well, then Lito and Riley. 

‘Can you help us?’ asked Riley.

‘You have to help us,’ said Lito.

‘You can see him in me, can’t you?’ Wolfgang asked.

She nodded, sadly and pulled away.

‘I thought … I hoped he might have gone,’ he said.

She sighed. ‘A connection, once made, is not easily broken. But your efforts have weakened him.’

‘Is that all we can hope for? To weaken him?’ asked Kala.

The Mother returned to her seat. Wolfgang was relieved to no longer have her gaze fixed on him like that. It made him uncomfortable. Kala was still next to him and he slipped his hand into hers, relishing the comfort of her warmth against his skin.

‘I feared he already had plans in case of his death,’ said The Mother.

‘You should have warned us,’ said Wolfgang, a spike of anger hardening his voice.

The Mother looked at him, sharply, knowingly. ‘He’s still too strong in you.’

Wolfgang’s face felt hot with embarrassed anger. He should have Whispers under control now, not be allowing him to take control.

‘We thought Dacian’s machine would get rid of him again, if we used good memories.’

‘Whispers thrives on bad thoughts and bad memories. He craves the pain of others. With good memories, the machine strengthens the host and weakens him.’

‘Bodhi said we can defeat him,’ said Capheus. ‘How do we do that?’

‘You must work together. Your strength is in each other. Your love for each other is something Whispers could never understand. Wolfgang, I know you would die for each member of your cluster, as they would for you.’

Wolfgang glanced at Kala and nodded. ‘I would.’

She frowned and he felt her spike of alarm before anyone else’s.

He let go of her hand and stepped forward. ‘If that’s what I have to do, I’ll do it. Just like Dacian.’

The cluster all called out to him and he could feel their distress. He felt bad for that but he would do what had to be done. He always had. He’d ended his father’s life, and his uncle’s and his cousin’s. He had ended Whispers before and he would do it again. Even if it meant taking himself with him.

The Mother gazed sadly at him. ‘You are a brave man. You always have been. Angelica has told me this about you.’

Wolfgang glanced at Will, whose eyes were wet with tears. He shook his head. ‘Don’t, Wolfgang. Don’t.’

Wolfgang looked back at The Mother. She smiled and there was a warmth in her eyes this time. ‘You don’t need to kill yourself. I hope no one else needs to die. But your strength will be needed.’

‘I don’t understand. Tell us what we need to fucking do.’

He felt Will’s hand land on his shoulder, trying to calm him. He resented that. He didn’t need help to stay calm. He needed to know what to do to get rid of that fucking voice in his head.

‘Learn to build walls in your mind. That’s the strength you need; the strength to control that voice. Your cluster will give you the strength. It is in your love and your pleasure and your music. Whispers is alone but you are not.’

Wolfgang looked at his cluster. He looked into each of their faces and he knew he never would be alone.

His gaze turned to Will again and he remembered how deeply Whispers had had him in his control. He turned back to The Mother.

‘What about Will? He was infected by eye contact with me.’

‘Whispers only exists in the minds of those he was connected to. He was in Will’s mind before you made that contact. But Dacian was right. He was the source and without him, Whispers only has the power you give him. His power is in those words he whispers to you, those lies he tells. His power is in falsehoods.’

‘Vos confidere in Mendacio,’ said Wolfgang, realisation dawning on him.

The Mother nodded slowly and smiled. ‘You understand. You can trust River. She will do all she can to help you.’

Wolfgang had more to say but he turned his head and they were back in the lab again. Rajan was staring at them and he let out a breath as they all returned to themselves.

‘I was starting to get worried. Where did you all go?’

‘The Lacuna,’ said Wolfgang. ‘We have work to do.’


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter in this story, but I have more planned for this series so stay tuned!
> 
> Thank you for all your comments! They all mean a lot to me!

Corinne wrapped her arms around Wolfgang and hugged him tight. ‘It’s so good to see you feeling better.’

He grinned as he pulled back. ‘Glad to hear I don’t look like shit anymore.’

He put his arm around Will’s shoulders. ‘This is Will, in the flesh.’

Corinne smiled and shook Will’s hand. ‘It’s good to meet you, Will. I feel like I know you already.’

Will returned her smile. ‘You’ve thrown me out of here more than once.’

‘Because he’s an overprotective Glucke,’ put in Wolfgang and Will smiled.

‘But now you’re my patient. Please sit down.’

They both sat on the sofa. Wolfgang was nervous. He had always felt close to Will, and even closer over the past year. He’d confided in him, but in this office he had gone deeper into his feelings and traumas than anywhere else. It felt like a private space and it was strange to have Will there.

Corinne smiled kindly at him and he knew she understood how he was feeling. ‘Relax, Wolfgang. We’re not here to talk about anything from your past unless you want to. But I know you want my help. The Mother has explained the situation.’

Wolfgang glanced at Will, then back at Corinne. ‘Whispers’ voice in our heads is like … intrusive thoughts. You helped me with those before.’

‘And I can help you again. Both of you. Why don’t you tell me about it?’

‘It’s different since Dacian died,’ said Will. ‘Not as strong. Since that, and using the machine, it is dimmer. He’s weaker. I don’t feel like I have to do what the voice says but it’s always there. I can always hear him, or feel his emotions.’

Wolfgang nodded as he listened to Will’s words. He recognised them. He’d felt the same things. He knew how strong Whispers still was in his mind; he’d felt it as The Mother had looked at him. He knew those feelings he’d had were Whispers.

‘It’s the same for me,’ he said. ‘There are dreams sometimes but I know how to handle them. I’ll be close with Rajan and Kala or I’ll go for a run. It works and then it’s all right.’

‘When isn’t it all right?’ Corinne asked.

‘When they come out of nowhere. When I’m cooking or having fun or having sex, or just being with my lovers or my friends. The thoughts, the voice just comes out of nowhere.’

‘And what do you do when you hear that voice?’

He grinned sheepishly. ‘Usually panic or try to get away or try to block it all out.’

Corinne nodded. ‘Like you have with other bad thoughts.’

Wolfgang frowned, glancing briefly at Will before dropping his gaze and nodding. ‘Yeah.’ He glanced up at her. ‘I know. I know it doesn’t work.’

Corinne considered him for a moment before she spoke again. ‘I think you need to face him. Both of you. Look him in the eyes and see how little power he has and realise how strong you are.’

‘What if…’ Wolfgang stopped speaking. He couldn’t say it. He looked at Will, hoping he understood. Will met his eyes, then reached out for him, sliding his arm around Wolfgang’s shoulders and tugging him close. They held onto each other for a moment, drawing strength from each other.

Then Will looked up. ‘He thinks he’s not strong enough.’

Corinne reached out and took Wolfgang’s hand. He didn’t look up.

‘Wolfgang, look at me.’

She squeezed his hand and he dragged his gaze up to meet hers. ‘You’ve shared a lot of your past with me and I’ve been there as you’ve fought off your demons. If you have the strength to fight all of that, you have the strength to fight Whispers. You’re a survivor, Wolfgang.’

‘Survival isn’t enough anymore. I want to be happy.’

Corinne considered him, then leaned back in her chair. ‘Do you remember what you said to me when the visions first started?’

Wolfgang frowned. ‘I shouted and swore at you.’

She smiled. ‘Yes, you did. But you said you were happy and you didn’t see why dead enemies should ruin that. So don’t let them.’

‘I don’t know how to stop them.’

‘Go and be with your cluster, your loved ones. You’ll find your happiness and your strength with them.’

Wolfgang looked at Will, who looked back at him. He could feel Will strongly. He was afraid, like Wolfgang, but also hopeful. Wolfgang found his hand and squeezed it. They could do this together.

‘I want you both to come to see me again, together or separately. We’ll keep working and we’ll get through this. Will, we’re connected now so you can keep visiting, even when you go back to Iceland.’

‘I will.’ He squeezed Wolfgang’s hand. ‘We’ll get through this.’

Back at the flat, the whole cluster and their partners welcomed them home. They’d stayed away during the session but now they were there. They were all together.

Rajan and Kala wrapped their arms around Wolfgang, cocooning him with their warmth. He breathed them in, their scents mingling together.

‘How did it go?’ Rajan asked, his voice soft in Wolfgang’s ear.

‘Okay,’ said Wolfgang, pulling away slightly so he could look into their faces. ‘Will and I have work to do but I think it’s going to be all right.’ He sighed. ‘I’m not back to square one, just knocked back a few steps.’

Riley smoothed her fingertips across Will’s cheek and looked into his eyes. ‘You all right, elsken min?’

He smiled, taking her hand from his cheek and kissing it. ‘I’m all right. Our therapy homework is to do things that make us happy.’

Riley smiled. ‘I have the perfect idea,’ she said, raising her voice so everybody could hear her. ‘Let’s go out. Let’s go clubbing.’

‘Yeah,’ said Wolfgang, grinning. ‘Let’s dance all fucking night.’

The club wasn’t the busiest but as the fifteen of them crowded onto the dancefloor, it was enough of a party for anyone. The music pounded through them, getting under their skin and making them want to dance.

Wolfgang loved to dance. It made him feel light and giddy, even without any alcohol. He didn’t worry about how he looked. He just moved, letting the music guide him. He laughed as Rajan jumped exuberantly to the music. Kala’s moves were more graceful but just as happy. Wolfgang moved with his lovers, his hands on their waists, or pulling them in for kisses whenever he felt moved to.

Felix jumped on him, wrapping his arms around his chest and squeezing. ‘Brother!’ he yelled in his ear.

Wolfgang grinned, leaning back into his friend. ‘How drunk are you?’

Felix released him, sliding round in front of him instead. He grinned at him, then grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him hard on the mouth. ‘I love you, brother.’

‘Oh, that drunk,’ said Wolfgang, knowingly.

Felix grinned again. ‘Never drunk enough!’ he said and headed off to the bar.

Wolfgang shook his head, laughing and turned his attention back to dancing. He smiled as he saw Rajan caress Kala’s cheek before he dipped her. Nobody but Rajan could be romantic like that in a club, with heavy dance music playing.

He felt Will close by him. He turned to find him dancing beside him, his arms around Riley. He smiled as he watched them kissing. Then Will smiled at him, reaching out for him and pulling him close, his arm around his waist. They kissed, slow and deep. He felt Riley’s hands on him, soft and gentle. He turned and kissed her too and he could feel the love of the whole cluster with him.

He pulled back and shared a smile with Will, before returning to his lovers. Rajan grasped his hand, tugged him into his arms and dipped him. Wolfgang laughed; he would never admit out loud how warm he felt inside when Rajan did things like that, when Rajan showed him openly how much he loved him.

Rajan kissed him, all heat and passion and Wolfgang knew that when they got home, they would fall into bed together and the three of them would make love. He smiled. More than just the three of them, he knew. They would all feel it, together.

Wolfgang looked around as he danced with joyful abandon. Nomi and Amanita were wrapped up in each other, their gazes only for each other. He could feel their love pulsing between them. Neither of them glanced at him; they were too absorbed in each other but he let his hand linger on the small of Nomi’s back for a moment, just to feel her. 

His gaze turned to Capheus. He was dancing with his love. Zakia was a beautiful woman, all curves, and that smile was gorgeous. Even if he couldn’t feel Capheus’s love for her, she would have attracted more than a second glance from him. Capheus felt his gaze and grinned at him. Then, in their minds, they were kissing. Wolfgang loved Capheus’s kisses; he put all his feelings into each one. All joy, Capheus grinned at him as they parted.

Lito was somehow managing to make dancing to the club mix look like a high-level dance performance. With those hips, he belonged on stage. Wolfgang didn’t get in the way as he danced with Hernando and Dani. He just lingered nearby in a visit, to feel Lito’s love for them. Like himself, he had found it easy to expand it to include two lovers. But Lito noticed him there and fluttered his fingertips across the back of Wolfgang’s neck before he kissed him.

Wolfgang took in the way Mun gazed adoringly at Sun. He approved. She deserved the absolute best and if she didn’t get it, he would join her in finding and dealing with anyone who hurt her.

She smirked at him as she caught his thought. Her hand gripped his wrist, her fingers light at his pulse point. He smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her cheek. He didn’t need to tell her he approved and she didn’t need to hear it. But he knew she knew it. And he knew she was happy.

Felix met a girl, of course. As Felix led her away, with scarcely a glance backwards, Wolfgang shook his head, laughing, as he remembered when that used to be him. He’d pick up some woman and take her home to fuck. He’d loved making them come, making them happy, the talking and the cuddling afterwards. They all knew it was just one night. That was all he could handle. Being with them gave them the intimacy he’d needed, but on his terms.

It was different when he picked up men. It wasn’t intimacy he’d been looking for then. It was the roughness, the sensations, the meaningless empty sex. He never took them home. They just fucked in some bathroom somewhere. Some nights, it was all about the pain.

He had better now. His life meant something.

He didn’t know what time it was and he didn’t care. They got back to the flat in a haze of heat and joy and pleasure. The sex had already started in the cluster and every inch of his body was alight with passion.

Wolfgang fell into bed with Rajan and Kala, their clothes already cast away. He kissed Kala and, in that kiss, he could feel Riley’s soft mouth and Sun’s firm grip on his jaw. In Kala’s gentle hand at his hip, he could feel Will’s rougher touch. He could feel Rajan moving against him, but also the rhythm of Lito’s hips.

As Rajan took him into his mouth, he could feel Amanita’s hot tongue on him. He turned to Capheus and claimed his mouth in a fierce kiss. Capheus clung to him, burning heat building between them.

Lust and love flowed through all their bodies and it no longer mattered whose touches were whose. They moved as one, sharing electric touches and soft caresses.

He moved into Kala, and Rajan moved into him. Pleasure tingled through his body and his mind and he knew that, in this moment, nothing bad could touch him.

Their orgasms hit all at once and Wolfgang saw stars. Every inch of his body was trembling and he could do nothing but hold onto his lovers and experience it with them.

Afterward, they lay together in a pile. Wolfgang knew that physically, he was in bed in between Rajan and Kala, their arms around him and his around them. But at the same time, he was with Nomi, with Riley and Will, with Lito, with Sun and with Capheus. Wolfgang drifted towards sleep and he didn’t want to ever move.

But at some point, he stirred, awake suddenly and he needed a piss. Everyone else was asleep. He lifted Rajan’s arm off his waist and carefully climbed out of bed over Kala. She murmured in her sleep and he smiled and kissed her softly, the warmth in his chest almost more than he could bear.

He headed to the bathroom, had a piss and washed his hands. He looked in the mirror and saw what he expected to see. Whispers looked back at him. Those cold blue eyes stared at him.

Wolfgang looked back at him for a moment, studying the man who had brought him so much pain. Suddenly, he laughed. Whispers was alone. No one stood with him. Wolfgang knew that if he called, his own cluster would be with him in a second. But no one stood with Whispers. He had nothing.

‘You’re pathetic,’ he said into the mirror. ‘And I’m not afraid of you, you fucking chickenshit.’

He turned away and returned to the bedroom. He climbed back into bed in between his lovers. Rajan’s arms slid back around him, spooning behind him and Kala sighed in her sleep and laid her head on his chest. He dropped a kiss into her hair and closed his eyes. He was right where he belonged and he knew that everything was going to be all right. He wasn’t afraid anymore. He was strong. He was loved.


End file.
